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So true, remember a friend from high school getting freaking angry over me not drinking in college because he drove down to "share a beer with his buddy." Neither of us drank in high school so why am I the bad guy for being the same person I always was.
Or another friend whose boyfriend tried to fight me at a party because I told him I didn't drink when he brought another beer up assuming I did.
I hate to say it, but if you want a social life in the US you'd better be able to fake liking to drink.
I'd rather be a loner than hang around drug pushers. That "better be able" is a forced option, giving in to something one would rather not do. I'm smarter than that so it's an easy choice for me to make.
I only have a few microbrews per year and I haven't had any of the hard stuff in over 25 years. Most of the time when I go out I do not drink. This pressure and "fake" stuff is college like. If I can't be social with mature people I will opt out. Every adult has that option. No matter the situation no one is going to force me to do anything I do not want to do.
I have never felt pressured to drink. When I was younger, I did my share. But as I matured, I realized that I didn't like the feeling of not being in control.
I usually order a Tonic with a twist. If someone would be so crass as to insist that I "have a real drink", I make no apology or explanation. If that doesn't do it, I absent myself from their company.
Life's way too short to hang out with people who don't respect you. There are plenty of people in "society" who do.
I hear you O.P. Wife and I don't drink either. Unlike you though, we just don't frequent places that serve, or mainly serve, drinks. Hang around mostly with non-drinkers. Wife's side of family drinks, but they don't pressure us. Neither of us care to be around drinkers that act silly, or aggressive "when alcohol is added". We both have had to deal with too much of that in our lives. Both prior military, need I say more? Plus have both worked occupations (NOT in restaurants/clubs/bars) where we came into regular contact with intoxicated individuals.
Because they think just because alcohol is legal that it's okay. It's a drug, just like cocaine is a drug (obviously, they have different effect).
They don't mind increasing the risk of getting arrested (public intoxication, DUI/DWI, disorderly conduct, etc.), ruining their family, or losing their jobs (sometimes careers depending on what field).
So true, remember a friend from high school getting freaking angry over me not drinking in college because he drove down to "share a beer with his buddy." Neither of us drank in high school so why am I the bad guy for being the same person I always was.
Or another friend whose boyfriend tried to fight me at a party because I told him I didn't drink when he brought another beer up assuming I did.
I hate to say it, but if you want a social life in the US you'd better be able to fake liking to drink.
True to some extent, but mostly when you're young. The older you get, the less you will care how others perceive you. Most people on their deathbed regret not living the life they wanted but instead living the life others wanted them to. This is one such example.
I have found when we go to trade shows and business meetings........if a walk around with a glass of OJ......they stop constantly asking me if I want a drink.
One of the hardest things for a person to do, is doing what it is they truly want to do. There are a lot of people who want to fit in, be popular and have a lot of connections. I see this more among the younger population but old habits die hard. I get a lot of crap for not really conforming to what my peers consider "normal." I am pretty introverted and reserved person. I am not into drinking, smoking, wild parties, casual sex, etc.
It gets rough for me because it results in me being alone which isn't a problem in of itself, I just think too much and tend to be more on the negative side. My point is....you should stick to your own beliefs and try to find what it is that makes you happy. Spending time being concerned about other people and what they're doing will only make you feel crappy and unsatisfied with your life. It is difficult, but it can be done.
You know, I think we all dealt with peer pressure when we were, I don't know, 15? But @ 29 and still dealing with "adults" who are applying peer pressure? I think it's time for them to grow up.
When I tell people I'm a 29 year old guy who doesn't drink, they're left with a look of dismay.
It's not as if I haven't tried them -- I just wasn't born with the taste buds for alcohol. Some of my family members as well as my wife's have questioned why I don't drink, and a few have applied pressure at social gatherings to take a sip or two.
After reminding them I don't drink countless times, either it's not getting through to them, they think I'm lying, or they're relentless in their quest to turn me into one of them.
My wife doesn't drink either.
What's more, many of these people become flat-out silly when they get plastered. It makes us feel really uncomfortable. This has happened twice in recent months-- at my wife's bachelorette dinner and at a recent Christmas get together.
Why is there so much "peer pressure" to drink? Does it make drinkers feel that uncomfortable when a person chooses to remain sober? Does not drinking make you a party pooper in people's eyes? Why is it more acceptable to not eat certain foods than it is to not drink?
I used to drink, a lot, when I was younger. All my friends still do, but I don't. One, particular, close, friend, doesn't get it. He can't seem to socialize without alcohol. In our relationship, to him, its like a ritual of some kind. Like getting plowed is some kind of cement, that is a defining part of our friendship.
However, I can't even stand the smell of booze anymore, never mind how it makes me feel, especially when I wake up after having drank. But, my being thus is not an issue anymore. Its just who I am now, and my friends, my real friends, just accept me as I am.
Pressuring someone who doesn't drink to imbibe is wrong, and why they don't drink is their business, not open to criticism, from anyone.
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