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Old 03-24-2015, 03:47 PM
 
Location: San Antonio
7,629 posts, read 16,420,259 times
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I did not read all these pages of response, but can't help but wonder if you were satisfied with it as you say you are, why would you feel the need to ask the question of others.

If it works for you and you have no regrets, then enjoy. I can't say I have ever felt the need for "confirmation" of something I was truly happy with myself.
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Old 03-24-2015, 03:55 PM
 
2 posts, read 5,215 times
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So, you are kind of OK with your life, you just want to know if you are normal? I know of very few people who try to do the least possible to get by, but, the few I have known? Well, I personally got tired of the constant excuses. 'Well, I would go out, but..." They literally were happier sitting and doing nothing, and the only time they had a relationship was when they found someone who needed a hand up so bad that they didn't mind living like a shut-in for the time it took to get their feet under them and find someone more more interesting to run to. The two I'm thinking of off-hand, never had children, never had any real friends, you know, the kind that are at your house a 2am if you need them. They just drift. One moved back in with his parents at age 45, the other is finally living on his own at age 34. But, for them, drifting along was OK. Decent job, no real stressors, they had hobbies, but, they were loner hobbies. So, I don't know what kind of permission you need to live a life that means you never make an impact, or leave an impression anywhere, but, have at it. You aren't hurting anyone. You aren't helping anyone, but, no one is obligated to help anyone else in this life, right? Enjoy it. Who knows what the future will bring?
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Old 03-24-2015, 06:44 PM
 
10,599 posts, read 17,847,063 times
Reputation: 17352
Quote:
Originally Posted by Woof View Post
Try mixed drinks and a mellow type of marijuana, if it's legal in your area. Or melatonin.
Watch that melatonin, though.

My dementia client was having huge dreams and after waking up she had trouble kicking them for hours. She'd tell me she felt that the dream was so real and she was still in it. Like waiting for her father to open the door and he was long dead.

THEN I saw a host on TV do an interview with a sleep doctor and the host asked does melatonin have side effects and described that same thing. The doc said yes for some. She was only about 33 or so.

I had the doctor take my client off it and the issue disappeared! (yes she still has delusions but not in the form of recurring and long lasting dreams)
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Old 03-24-2015, 06:48 PM
 
10,599 posts, read 17,847,063 times
Reputation: 17352
OP, you may enjoy this video. It's not really just about work so stick with it.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReRcHdeUG9Y
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Old 03-24-2015, 08:40 PM
 
11,337 posts, read 11,008,074 times
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It's one thing to have house plants. It is quite another to become one. Your life sounds extremely boring, and you have confessed to feeling that emotion due to your surplus of uncommitted down time.

I think you are addicted to staying in your comfort zone, a risk-free, commitment-free, effort-free quasi-existence. The only problem is you are not excelling at anything, you are just marking time until you die. You are proud of what you are avoiding, and not proud of what you are doing and creating and being.

That is a bad and self-destructive policy. You're writing about it on a forum as a way of personally exploring it, and seeking some outside opinions to ratify what you probably already know.

Is it wrong or evil to be useless? Only to yourself and your spirit. Nobody will ultimately care when your time on the planet is reduced to an inconsequential headstone in some forgotten cemetery. There is nothing you can do then, you will not exist. But there is something you can do now.

Experiment with getting out of your comfort zone and accomplishing something that is somewhat difficult and requires somewhat of a commitment. If you don't like it and it ends up not being a positive, you can go back to feeding and watering yourself until the Earth swallows you. However, you might find being committed and tired while doing something of value is an amazing opportunity, something you are lucky to have to face and face down.
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Old 03-25-2015, 02:15 AM
 
2,429 posts, read 4,010,529 times
Reputation: 3382
Quote:
you are not excelling at anything
actually I've so excelled in my field, that for where I work anyway (a major corporation) I'm at the top of my employment ladder, and my job is no longer a challenge

Quote:
Nobody will ultimately care when your time on the planet is reduced to an inconsequential headstone in some forgotten cemetery
uh, 99.9 percent of people who have EVER lived on this earth are forgotten people on a headstone I'm not arguing with you but that statement really doesn't support any of your position. Heck, look at how many people changed the course of the 13 Colonies by signing the declaration of Independence...but how many people can NAME ANY of them. So even THEY are forgotten. They may be part of a legacy, but even they are just names on a tombstone (and maybe a school somewhere) to all but their families.

Is having so much free time bothering me? Apparently not enough to do anything about it One question on a message board doesn't mean I'm a tortured soul. If more of my friends and family would be free, when I'm also free....I wouldn't have so much free time Like I said, I just happen to not be very interested in a lot of things these days....in my life I've remodeled two homes and designed the properties landscaping. I've served on progressional committees. Lived, traveled and studied abroad. Speak two foreign languages fluently and am familiar with others. I've had several hobbies over the years: crocheting, macrame, gardening, interior design and remodeling, travel....I have no doubt something will strike my interest eventually. It always does.

I will say the comments post in rely to my OP have been interesting.....the ones that make certain presumptions...or that state certain cautions about health and finances.

Well, I'm 55 this year. In the same career for 30 years. And bored/not challenged on my job of 20 years. And I'm not looking to be. Been there done that. I'm perfectly willing to coast until retirement. I just came off a year of driving from DC to Philly at least twice a month to see about my mom who had Alzheimer's all while I was working a swing shift job. That was after more than 5 years of increasingly assuming more responsibility for her finances and coordinating care with a sibling. She passed away in Oct. and I planned TWO funerals 600 mies apart in a week, and have been taking care of the estate...while working. My financial planner says I should be OK to retire at 62 IF I want.

So it's too late to be 50 and in a nursing home. NO, I'm not a stoner, nor a ne'er do well. Though I do admit that I am NOT interested in other's making demands on my time.


(The psychology forum is THE appropriate place to observe just how off-base some comments can be when people are given the opportunity to go anywhere they like with the answer to an open-ended question, with not much to go on. Now I'M wondering why certain people answered they way THEY did. What in THEIR experience or history made them comment as they did?)

Last edited by rdflk; 03-25-2015 at 02:30 AM..
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Old 03-25-2015, 06:59 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
30,585 posts, read 25,046,354 times
Reputation: 50796
Quote:
Originally Posted by rdflk View Post

I AM enjoying my life, I guess I'm just bored most of the time. Other than eating out and buying a few gifts for friends. I don't want to spend any money, really. I do SOME travel.

There's nothing I really much I care about, to me, that's worth doing. Other than work most of what I do is errands you need to do in life...take the care for maintenance, grocery shop, etc.
I think you are bored and questioning your drifting life style. Is this how you want to live your life from now on? If not, then imagine some way to realistic way to change it.

I would take a hour or so, and write out 5 or 6 goals for my life. And then brainstorm how to get to where you want to be.

Doing the minimum will give you a minimum kind of life.
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Old 03-26-2015, 03:43 PM
 
19,492 posts, read 12,126,903 times
Reputation: 26266
It sounds like you have been busy in the past and at age 55 you should be able to feel free to do what you want to do with your time. It would maybe be nice if you could have some people to do stuff with if you are bored. But that may require you to do some things you don't want to because friends sometimes need that.

I think perhaps we all should try do some things that take us out of our comfort zone just so we don't start to feel like a stoner even if we aren't a stoner. It - boredom/ lack of motivation- can creep up on you but then you may find something that brings some snap and challenge to your life, and find that is better than just doing what feels easy or comfortable. I know a lot of people who like to coast after a certain age too.
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Old 03-26-2015, 06:36 PM
 
Location: Connectucut shore but on a hill
2,617 posts, read 7,008,784 times
Reputation: 3344
Quote:
Originally Posted by rdflk View Post
actually I've so excelled in my field, that for where I work anyway (a major corporation) I'm at the top of my employment ladder, and my job is no longer a challenge

uh, 99.9 percent of people who have EVER lived on this earth are forgotten people on a headstone I'm not arguing with you but that statement really doesn't support any of your position. Heck, look at how many people changed the course of the 13 Colonies by signing the declaration of Independence...but how many people can NAME ANY of them. So even THEY are forgotten. They may be part of a legacy, but even they are just names on a tombstone (and maybe a school somewhere) to all but their families.

Is having so much free time bothering me? Apparently not enough to do anything about it One question on a message board doesn't mean I'm a tortured soul. If more of my friends and family would be free, when I'm also free....I wouldn't have so much free time Like I said, I just happen to not be very interested in a lot of things these days....in my life I've remodeled two homes and designed the properties landscaping. I've served on progressional committees. Lived, traveled and studied abroad. Speak two foreign languages fluently and am familiar with others. I've had several hobbies over the years: crocheting, macrame, gardening, interior design and remodeling, travel....I have no doubt something will strike my interest eventually. It always does.

I will say the comments post in rely to my OP have been interesting.....the ones that make certain presumptions...or that state certain cautions about health and finances.

Well, I'm 55 this year. In the same career for 30 years. And bored/not challenged on my job of 20 years. And I'm not looking to be. Been there done that. I'm perfectly willing to coast until retirement. I just came off a year of driving from DC to Philly at least twice a month to see about my mom who had Alzheimer's all while I was working a swing shift job. That was after more than 5 years of increasingly assuming more responsibility for her finances and coordinating care with a sibling. She passed away in Oct. and I planned TWO funerals 600 mies apart in a week, and have been taking care of the estate...while working. My financial planner says I should be OK to retire at 62 IF I want.

So it's too late to be 50 and in a nursing home. NO, I'm not a stoner, nor a ne'er do well. Though I do admit that I am NOT interested in other's making demands on my time.

(The psychology forum is THE appropriate place to observe just how off-base some comments can be when people are given the opportunity to go anywhere they like with the answer to an open-ended question, with not much to go on. Now I'M wondering why certain people answered they way THEY did. What in THEIR experience or history made them comment as they did?)
By omitting all this from your OP you deliberately mislead respondents about your life status and the apparent purpose for posting. If you sound like a do-nothing stoner or an apathetic loser it shouldn't be a surprise that readers interpret you that way.

It's stunning that anybody with the ability to live, travel and study abroad and learn 2 foreign languages, can transform with such totality into an apathetic slug. You've made the world a slightly worse place with this stuff dragging on so long with misleading info.

Why don't you get off you apathetic butt and do something to make things better for someone or something other than your mother? Gimme a break.
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Old 03-27-2015, 07:06 AM
 
765 posts, read 984,413 times
Reputation: 465
I was going to recommand dating if you can or finding new friends
I have some guys friends I sometimes met up
Dating life keeps me busy and content
Lots of beautiful woman out there but now ur schedule yea thats a roadblock kinda of in that category
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