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Is it OK to not to really want to do anything....except what you want to do?
I'm single no kids. Good job. Well, good paying job, which I really can't complain about. It's secure, union covered, no challenge. Other than having to be there it's really not demanding -- at all. Because I don't have significant other or kids, I don't have anyone making any demands on my time. So my life is my own. Other than work, there's no place I HAVE to be, or anyone I HAVE to commit to.
I'm in a relatively good position financially. I have friends, and family that I love and hang out with very so often. But I don't live near MOST of them. And they have their own lives so although we talk a lot, we don't actually get together that often. Mostly the people I live near are acquaintances more than intimate friends.
My job IS at odd hours so I'm working when they tend to be free. So MOST of my day-to-day is home and work that's it. For example the acquaintances I have -- are all busy today.
Life is actually pretty good I have no reason to complain.
I live alone -- so I don't really have to clean my house (and I don't except for the once a year someone may stop by.) I eat out or order out most of the time.
I don't want to exercise or go to a gym, OR walk by myself. I have an iPod to listen to music while I walk. But I really don't want to get up and do it. Don't really have a need or desire to get out to meet any new people. I've got friends and family. I'm quite content with the people I know. Not really interested in volunteering anywhere.
I AM enjoying my life, I guess I'm just bored most of the time. Other than eating out and buying a few gifts for friends. I don't want to spend any money, really. I do SOME travel.
There's nothing I really much I care about, to me, that's worth doing. Other than work most of what I do is errands you need to do in life...take the care for maintenance, grocery shop, etc.
I read a book once that said most human beings by nature, will do the least they can get away with. I guess since I really don't have any commitments other than work, there's nothing much I HAVE to do.
I guess it depends on what you mean by "OK." I'm not sure how you can be enjoying life, yet be bored most of the time. To me, that seems contradictory. Supposedly, some people are naturally curious. You don't seem to be. But I guess that would be one route out of boredom.
I suppose it's "OK," but sounds sadly limited. It's probably true that many people will do the least they can get away with in terms of work, but most people reach out in their personal life, whether for fun or learning or helpfulness, and, really, a lot of people reach out in their professional lives, too.
I AM enjoying my life, I guess I'm just bored most of the time.
I'm with Cida: You appear to be contradicting yourself.
But I hear you. I think it's just natural for humans to want to do the least possible amount of things they consider to be unpleasant or less than thrilling. Work falls into that category for many, if not most of us. And not for nothing, but the 40-hour (or more) work week in which people sit on their butts or run around like headless chickens is not a natural construct. Given its druthers, humanity would wake up when the sun came up, do the things needed for survival, nap in the afternoon, do a little more work, and then enjoy the early evening. Homo sapiens is a social species.
You sound like you don't have any real purpose but yourself in life. So I'm going to get all existential on you and tell you that it's on you to give yourself one. Once you find something outside of your own comfort to care about, you'll probably be more energetic and ambitious than you think.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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Sure, if you are happy with that, it's OK. Not having a life, kids, and challenging job are all examples of things that people don't miss if they haven't experienced it. I'm the opposite, but either is OK, it just depends on what one wants out of life.
You have a job, maintain a home, shop, cook, clean, avail yourself to your family - you definitely aren't being lazy. You work odd hours which pushes you away from certain activities or people, and therefore you do have limits imposed on you.
I agree with the poster who said your life is enviable. But as with all things, we really aren't completely content with our lot in life.
You are bored but haven't found your "thing" yet, which is why you stay home. You do need something to care for, whether it's a plant, garden, fish, outdoor birds, neighbor. Maybe try to volunteer at a nursing home or soup kitchen. Buy some seeds and grow a plant. Read. Write a story. Build something.
There's nothing wrong with your life as it sounds, but you need to also involve yourself in something *you* like, not just things you must do.
Location: On the "Left Coast", somewhere in "the Land of Fruits & Nuts"
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Does all your energy just go to taking care of yourself? If so, it's kinda like living someplace that only has one room, aka "you", which of course can quickly get boring.
Maybe look around for some opportunities to volunteer your time and talents towards helping others. You'll not only feel better for doing it, you'll also be adding some opportunities for new people, experiences, and self-discovery to enter your life… outside the boring and predictable confines of your current "one room dwelling".
I think it's okay if you're okay with it, but I agree that saying you're happy, but bored is contradictory and coming here questioning your lifestyle means that maybe you aren't all that okay with it. I think if you got yourself out there, joined a group and found a hobby or two, you might surprise yourself. I also think if you continue how you are, 20 years from now you may have some regrets. Sometimes it takes a lot of effort to get yourself out the door. There are many times I have wanted to cancel or reschedule commitments, but I force myself to go and I never regret it.
What does it mean to be "ok"? Approved by someone? Healthy for you in the long run? The most joyful situation for you?
I don't believe that it's the most joyful situation for you, nor healthy in the long run. But I understand how you feel. It's like liking to eat junk food, your body is telling you that it's great and you're enjoying it. But at the end, your body will stop working right, you'll feel bad physically and that will reduce the quality of your life.
Some things (even though it seems like you don't want to do them) may end up enriching your life in the ways you don't expect and make it more joyful for you.
If you don't suffer from social anxiety, I would try new things.
It's like if you're a picky eater and you're happy with a very limited selection of food that you have... but one day you'll grow tired of it. And then you'll feel bad. It would have been better for you to be trying new foods little by little so you would never get to a point when you're in a bad state.
So, in my opinion, this situation is "ok" for you temporarily. But at some point it will come back to haunt you. Believe me, I understand how you feel, speaking from experience. And while my experience may not be the same as yours, or may not turn out the same way, it's still something to consider just in case.
There are different feelings of happiness: one feeling of happiness is the freedom to do what I want and the freedom to do nothing.
But another kind of feeling of happiness is when you accomplished something (even though your body had to work). Both of them are happiness, but the latter feels more fulfilling. (Although it seems scary at first: what, I have to work? And you think it's good for me? No way... So says the body....at first....)
There is this fine line.. to not overdo things and to not underdo them... that's where the joy lies.
Oh I DO get out..when I can:
-- Any chance I get I shop, eat out with friends, go visit family, etc. But THEY also have their own lives (as we all do).
Haven't any of you ever tried to get together with people ...and for whatever reason they're all busy...and you're left with no one to get together with on a particular day. It just happens like that sometimes.
I have hobbies I dabble in like gardening (but it's winter now). I like interior decorating and read design magazines. WHEN I have an interest, I'm all in. I travel when I want.
Basically my life is my own. I'm blessed to not have drama, or challenges, or demands right now. So it's all good, really.
I guess it amounts the fact IF I don't have something I need to do or want to do, I don't go LOOKING for something to do, just to fill the time. And sometimes that leads to a lot of down time, which I don't really feel I HAVE to fill.
I'm quite happy, and curious -- just bored today I guess. I guess I'm "between interests."
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most people reach out in their personal life, whether for fun or learning or helpfulness, and, really, a lot of people reach out in their professional lives, too.
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I'm not sure how you can be enjoying life, yet be bored most of the time. To me, that seems contradictory. Supposedly, some people are naturally curious. You don't seem to be. But I guess that would be one route out of boredom.
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I'm with Cida: You appear to be contradicting yourself.
I confess I'm spoiled....I have THOUGHT about volunteering. But I really done't WANT to make any commitments. I LIKE being able to NOT have to commit.
My schedule is mostly my own....and I like it that want. I need to find a project or organization, where I can just call them and ask, " Will you need anyone tomorrow?" Because I'd don't know that I'm going to want to feel like doing whatever ahead of time. Guess you can't have your cake and eat it to.
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You sound like you don't have any real purpose but yourself in life. So I'm going to get all existential on you and tell you that it's on you to give yourself one. Once you find something outside of your own comfort to care about, you'll probably be more energetic and ambitious than you think.
I DO have a life. I just don't have every minute of it dictated by commitments that I don't want.
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Not having a life,....
Last edited by rdflk; 03-22-2015 at 09:46 PM..
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, which I really can't complain about. It's secure, union covered, no challenge. Other than having to be there it's really not demanding -- at all. Because I don't have significant other or kids, I don't have anyone making any demands on my time. So my life is my own. Other than work, there's no place I HAVE to be, or anyone I HAVE to commit to.
