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Old 05-15-2015, 09:22 AM
 
Location: City of the Angels
2,222 posts, read 2,336,730 times
Reputation: 5422

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Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyFarm34 View Post
She always has an excuse not wanting me to come over & visit. That she's either cleaning, shopping or exercising. Even on the phone, we will talk/text briefly sometimes, usually me doing the calling or texting.

Our relationship has always been rocky. She's younger than me by 19months. As we got older, it was like we were strangers even living in the same house. For whatever reason, it felt like she didn't want anything to do with me. It continued on after she moved out of the house and got married.

The way she treats me is a little better than 10yrs. ago. Having a cellphone over a landline is easier in getting ahold of her. Even after our little sister passed on, her attitude towards me hasn't changed much.

I had been reading on narcissism and triangulation. It seem to fit what I had experienced with my family. I always felt like the outsider even among my relatives. My mom was the center and if I wanted to know anything that was going on with my siblings, it was through her. More so in my younger days before owning a cellphone . My 2 younger sisters and "baby" brother seemed to bond with each other and got along while I felt excluded from the family loop.
There's a lot of dynamics going on here.

From the family structure that you presented, your Mom would hold the key for you to progress in a positive direction as she is "the center" as you described her.
You need to get a perspective from your Mom about your sister to help you get a reality on how to approach your sister in any future conversations as she seems to have "shut the front door" on you and you need to find out why.

Good luck with your psychological sleuthing and try to keep the perspective that your doing this in a constructive and not a destructive intent or the doors will be welded and not just closed shut on you.

Also, your handle of HappyFarm34 must have some kind of an interesting psychological meaning for you that may have some insight into your psyche.
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Old 05-17-2015, 07:27 PM
 
828 posts, read 904,729 times
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What you've described doesn't sound like narcissism. She may be, or she may not be, a narcissist. Impossible to tell from what you wrote.

I think you should probably respect that your sister needs some space. Maybe she wants to draw some boundaries, and having some boundaries is not a bad thing in families.
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