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Old 06-09-2015, 01:53 PM
 
Location: Indiana
540 posts, read 1,903,913 times
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Any men on here that have gone through a mid life crisis? If so, how old were you and what were your experiences before, during, and after? I'm 42 and I don't know if I am having one. I haven't done anything drastic or crazy, I'm not even sure if those two words classify what a mid life crisis is. Please share your experience or those you know who have been through one.
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Old 06-09-2015, 02:03 PM
 
5,718 posts, read 7,208,177 times
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Something that really bugs me is when a guy has wanted something like a certain car, a motorcycle, a boat, or something along those lines, but for whatever reasons, he's never been able to get that thing. Then, when he's a bit older, making more money, and his kids are on their own, he's finally able to acquire that thing that he's always wanted, there's some sap who wants to ruin it for him with claims of "Mid-life crisis! Mid-life crisis!"
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Old 06-10-2015, 04:14 AM
 
Location: Purgatory
6,367 posts, read 6,218,985 times
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I'm a female and everyday since 5yo has been an existential crisis. No more now than even before.
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Old 06-11-2015, 09:17 AM
 
Location: southwestern PA
22,285 posts, read 47,215,051 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WyattE View Post
Any men on here that have gone through a mid life crisis?
What do you consider a mid-life crisis to be?
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Old 06-11-2015, 09:40 AM
 
Location: Indiana
540 posts, read 1,903,913 times
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Being confused about things, where I want to be vs where I am now, not being happy with anything in my life, indecisive about everything, checking out women half my age and flirting with them. The feeling of time to do things in life is passing fast and all these dreams/goals come into mind and knowing that they probably are not going to happen.
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Old 06-12-2015, 01:39 PM
 
731 posts, read 930,491 times
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WyattE,

I'm a 46 year old female and I'm definitely going through that right now (except the flirting with younger women part!). It's even more of a struggle because my kids are still young, so I don't feel free to explore any of those things and, in fact, feel guilty that I have my own desires that don't jive with the rest of my family and therefore feel as though I should squash my desires down.

I can't add any wisdom, but I can commiserate.
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Old 06-12-2015, 11:29 PM
 
Location: coastlines
372 posts, read 530,990 times
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Sounds like you are getting in touch with another part of yourself.

Common--scary--manageable.

Men strive toward accomplishment, and one day (if they're lucky) a part wakes up and says _______.

Be careful not to give into it, and see if you can feel underneath it--usually there is a significant, unfulfilled longing.

Meditation, mind-body skills, finding someone who understands this process, can be helpful.

If they tell you that you're not busy enough, you know they don't get it.

It's a healthy, normal part of development.

Best wishes.

PM me if you want info on resources in your area--happy to help.
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Old 06-14-2015, 10:30 AM
 
50,164 posts, read 35,825,070 times
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I'm a woman and mine wa sin my late 30's...I am convinced it has a hormonal root, because it began with a serious re-awakening of my libido (I think it was my body's way of saying "Now or never, last chance to have a kid!")

But the main thing that stands out is it felt like I was awakening from along slumber...all of a sudden I looked at my life, and it was like "it's half over, and I don't remember choosing the life i have, when did I choose this?". In truth I and my spouse had gotten quite complacent in life and with each other...we had been living half dead it felt like, and now I wanted another chance at life.

I started getting into New Age things, definitely noticing hot young guys (mainly due to the libido run amok part) and wanting to be social again, live again, re-establish close ties with my family.

I tried to stay with my spouse for it, I tried to get him to re-ignite our sex life, and social life, etc, etc. But he wouldn't have any of it. He wanted things back the way they were, wanted us to continue on the same path, and I couldn't anymore, I was awake now and couldn't go back to sleep. We stayed together another 2 years, but unfortunately we grew apart, he hated my new friends and hobbies, hated having people over, etc.

I used to think it was a psychological thing, but after that I truly believe it is hormonally driven. I also don't think it happens to everyone, but I am convinced it is a real thing.
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Old 06-14-2015, 11:04 AM
 
609 posts, read 613,031 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WyattE View Post
Being confused about things, where I want to be vs where I am now, not being happy with anything in my life, indecisive about everything, checking out women half my age and flirting with them. The feeling of time to do things in life is passing fast and all these dreams/goals come into mind and knowing that they probably are not going to happen.
I'm in my 20s and I feel like I get some mental breakdown every four months.
I wouldn't think of it as a "mid life crisis" but just a regular old crisis. Try to figure out what you really want and why. Get to the root of your emotions. And whatever you do, do NOT compare yourself to other people. I've been super miserable doing that.
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Old 06-14-2015, 03:14 PM
 
Location: Denver, Colorado
544 posts, read 1,435,825 times
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My husband is 45 and going through one...he started cheating on me and I threw him out...he's completely destroyed our life and without going into a lot of personal details, devastated me. The OW, is obviously desperate, pathetic and screwed up to want to be with someone who cheats on their wife. BTW, this all started after I went on disability for my MS in December...so he's basically abandoned me (admits not wanting to financially support me), and had to cheat...I'm sure that was all part of his big plan, so I would throw him out, which I did. No one should ever have to tolerate someone using your home like a hotel and taking a crap and rubbing your nose in it. EVER.

I can't even describe the emotional trauma this has put me through...I've lost 25 lbs in less than 2 months.
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