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Way too many people refuse to recognize and deal with the negative stresses in their lives; they continually put on a 'happy face' and tell everyone they're 'great!'. All of that pent up stress, anger, frustration, etc., will eventually erupt, and their physical health will also be adversely affected.
"How are you?" is the new "Hi". While in a doctor's waiting room recently, each time the dr's assistant came out to get the next patient, she asked, "How are you?" in a very unemotional tone of voice. Every patient replied the same way, "Good, how are you." End of conversation.
Yes, this is how we respond...greeting neighbors, the friendly employees at the market, etc. Imagine, if anyone ever stopped to say, "Actually, I have been feeling poorly" or "I don't know what I'll do". Of course, unless it's someone close, we would not spill our guts. I prefer not holding stuff in, needing to express myself in a journal, if nothing else.
I recall hearing "SMILE, you look like you lost your best friend", while passing in a hallway, as I may have just experienced something distressing. Or if asked how I am and replying "Okay.." only to have another ask "JUST OKAY??".. being expected to say "Fabulous". I don't care for "false optimism", having witnessed the "overly bouncy" type coming off as if everything is great, then overhear them falling apart.
I'm probably considered one of the "older generation."
The reason behind this so called "get over it" attitude is because we were raised with a basic TRUTH: Life isn't fair and life isn't always fun. So, when sucky stuff happens, deal with it and yes, get over it. That's life.
People make choices and sometimes people are forced to accept situations. You work long hours? Either accept it and get over it or find a new job.
Stress is avoidable and/or manageable by learning a few simple techniques.
"Snapping" is a choice that is 100% preventable.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cam1957
I have to politely disagree with you. I'm 58, so I'm not sure if we're in the same generation or not.
Yes I've had more than my share of sucky things happen in my life and I've dealt with it.
In our economy, some people aren't afforded the opportunity to find another job that pays as well or has the benefits they have.
Unless they have the financial means to take a lower paying job and possibly pay more for their health insurance, they don't have a choice but to stay in that situation.
I went for "coping skills" to handle stress on my job and not everyone is equipped to Handle the garbage thrown at them on some jobs even after learning techniques.
If you're a single parent with no financial support other than your occupation, you put up with abuse from your employer in order to put food on your table for your kids and insure they have health insurance. Even if you're married, many couples are in that situation.
I did snap internally and it wasn't 100% avoidable.
If only life were as simple as the "get over it" mentality. It must be nice to handle everything life throws at you. I envy you.
No, I agree, Cam. I have dealt with or put up with a lot, myself. I am surprised at how outwardly pleasant I continue to be, though will complain privately on paper or to a listening ear. I don't believe in suppressing or pretending, though not a road rager or even a "honker", not being aggressive at all. But, it needs to come out somehow.
Some seem to feel everyone should just be carbon copies of each other, when there are variables in personality and emotional makeup. We have come from different experiences and backgrounds and are not exactly the same. Just "getting over something" or letting go is not simple, but maybe it is for some. I think we have to handle things in our own way, providing we do not take anything out on others.
No, I agree, Cam. I have dealt with or put up with a lot, myself. I am surprised at how outwardly pleasant I continue to be, though will complain privately on paper or to a listening ear. I don't believe in suppressing or pretending, though not a road rager or even a "honker", not being aggressive at all. But, it needs to come out somehow.
Some seem to feel everyone should just be carbon copies of each other, when there are variables in personality and emotional makeup. We have come from different experiences and backgrounds and are not exactly the same. Just "getting over something" or letting go is not simple, but maybe it is for some. I think we have to handle things in our own way, providing we do not take anything out on others.
Thank you for putting down in words so eloquently how people's personalities are so different and our life experiences mold us into the people we are.
I had my family to be able to vent my hurt and frustration to so that was my way of getting it out.
I stayed in a job that I loved but hated the environment. I didn't have a choice to leave that job because I made more money, was vested for a pension and had great health insurance. I'm not college educated and was making more money that people with degrees. I had a kid in school that was totally dependent on me for everything with no financial help from his father and I had a mortgage payment.
I've always treated people the way I want to be treated and have turned the other cheek when people not raised with those values felt the need to be cruel to me. I've never been anything but kind and respectful to people. When you're a grieving parent, you put on a mask every day and go to work and function professionally all day and let it all out the minute you get in the car or get home.
I'm not a road rager or honker or take my frustrations out on anyone. I'm a good honest person with high morals.
You're absolutely right that it needs to come out and mine came out late which is why I'm in treatment for PTSD.
I'll never be a mean person, I just don't have the genetic make up for it to hurt other people or take out my frustrations on them or be a cruel person.
Sometimes even when you think you've coped and handled and gotten over the traumas in your life, they come back years later with a vengence.
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