I'm dealing with a very unstable coworker. By all accounts, I can only describe it as a Jekyll Hyde situation.
A grown, 64 year-old that acts like a child. One moment happy (crazy happy to the point of wanting to pull her to earth) to crying or spazzing out over a common, everyday project.
She is in a position where she advises other adult students. I've witnessed her getting into their lives under the guise of "customer experience and personal touch." I commend personal touch, but it is extreme. She flags them down in a parking garage to say hi and talk. She's even had them over for dinner. If students plan a party for fellow students (remember, this is a working adult program), she goes.
At work, a five minute conversation turns into a minimum of 40 min to an hour. I constantly need to redirect her focus to the topic at hand, but she still goes on tangents.
She will come into work and analyze different behaviors of people. She thinks they are always against her. If you do not say hi, good morning, or respond in a way she expects, she asks: "Is something wrong? You seem like you are in a bad mood." When a person starts questioning her behavior, she turns from personable into a big, phony professional with a fake smile on her face (almost manipulative to play the game so people can say she is fine and professional). Perhaps passive aggressive?
The latest was her taking a normal, everyday, simple project and making it into a problem. I was shocked. The plan was already in place, yet she questioned everything as if she forgot what to do, and then when I tried to bring her back to earth, she went rogue on me in an email and used words like "well, I guess I'm not as dumb as others might think. LOL!" and "You know best." Totally a dig to me and passive-aggressive.
When I asked her if something was wrong, she responded as if "oh, nothing. I'm great!" and then cited personal problems (in an email!). She's off her rocker.
The next day, she mentioned her "meds" in another conversation with a coworker.
Not sure what to call this behavior or if anyone has any advice, but I'm at my wits end. I've only been in this new role for 3 months and I noticed from the beginning that something wasn't right with this person. She is EXTREMELY negative and after the first week, I knew all the politics and dirt on everyone. I had to tune it out and walk away. She emails me and texts at off hours and even the middle of the night about work items that other people want and over analyzing the people and their requests. I'm astounded.
It is only her and I in our small department. I approached the VP (our boss) already (in a very tactful and non-accusatory manner) and he immediately wanted to make it right by asking me if he could move me to another area. I said yes, but due to other personnel changes, it hasn't happened quite yet. I could tell he was covering slightly for past behavior, but he said she is "fragile" and that "her heart is in the right spot." I agree, but it is to the point where it is disruptive to EVERYONE --- not just me.
I also found out (from her!) that there were problems before I came on board. Of course, she blames them on everyone else. However, I found out that the organization made her go for a psych evaluation. She said everyone was against her and it was a ploy to get her out. She said it came back normal.
Now, I'm ready to approach my boss again. I want to be diplomatic, kind, and not accusatory, but how do I get my point across that I am thinking of leaving. I'm not a doctor, but I strongly feel she is unbalanced. Coming to work in this unstable environment is becoming daunting. I'm aiming for a leadership role, and the only way I've handled it so well (to date) is I'm good at deflecting. In fact, if you were to ask anyone else in the department how things are, they'd be shocked if I said I'm struggling on a daily --- no --- hour by hour basis. I just can't deflect anymore. I'm ready to leave, and I know that my boss would be worried about me leaving. I DO NOT really want to go because I've never loved a job more. The organization is fantastic. It is her.
She is a mass manipulator. Will tell the boss, "oh, I have no idea what so and so is talking about. I'm great. I love everyone and I am collaborative." The opposite is the honest to God truth.
HELP!
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