Calling all introverts: What's your idea of the perfect life? (people, everything)
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I relate to most of OP’s list. At one time, I did want children, but have a physical problem that made it impossible to have my own. I could have adopted, but finally realized I didn’t want them enough. Looking back, I think I wanted them out of social pressure more than a maternal desire. I spent a lot of years as a square peg forcing myself into a round hole. I was raised to believe my extreme introversion and preference for solitary activities were unacceptable personality flaws that needed to be fixed. It look a long time to gain some understanding and self-acceptance.
I don't have children and can't even consider close relationships with men who DO have kids because it's just not me. I identify with nearly all of the things on your list, except that I'm not taciturn; I'm quite verbose and laugh very heartily when on the phone with a good friend or "potential" mate -- who, if found, I would like to keep at some distance, or next door I love silliness and all things funny and make an effort to find something to laugh about at least once a day.
I'm also not opposed to talking about things that aren't necessarily "deep," but I do like to get to the point. I don't like meandering talk. Say what you think and mean it.
The only thing I'd add to the list (that I don't already have, like my cat) would be a helper who is handy with tools, shopping, house cleaning, and maybe a little cooking. I'm no good at and don't have any interest in cooking or cleaning, and there are many house repairs a woman can't make because we're just not strong enough.
I couldn't have kids because I just can't see myself doing many of the "parental duties". Stuff like parent-teacher meetings, school plays, t-ball practice, shopping for school clothes, etc... I watch my sister do those things with her kids and it just seems so exhausting to me.
I'm an introvert, and have been all my life. I don't like being in large groups of people (although I do love going to see live music, though mostly small venues). I definitely get recharged spending time by myself, though I have several close friends that I do things with. Chit-chat/small talk doesn't bother me as long as it is in small doses. As for marriage/children, never been interested in either. I do however enjoy being in a relationship and having someone to share things/experiences with. It took me a very long time, but finally met a woman who is similar to me and "gets" me. Better yet, she enjoys many of the things I do.
OP, your list describes me very well -- except for the part about kids. I have always wanted kids for as long as I can remember, and now that I have two of them, I can't imagine ever going back. Yes, they are attention hogs, wanting Daddy time pretty much all the time. And yes, it can be exhausting and draining. But darn it all, they're just so cute, and so loving, and they just warm my heart in ways that even the most loyal and affectionate dog or cat simply cannot do. And after they go to bed, that's the time for me to recharge my batteries while curled up with a good book.
I'm not saying that because I'm glad I have kids, therefore all introverts should go and have kids. On the contrary, children can be hard for an introvert to handle, and for those who don't think they would be up to it, it's better to remain child-free. I'm just saying that introversion and having children are not necessarily mutually exclusive.
I'm an introvert and I would like to come out of my shell...I'm working on it.
I do have a spouse and dogs. Never had any children and never wanted any. That's not because I'm an introvert. It's because I grew up in a very abusive household and I never wanted to become my mother.
I have what I want out of life. I wouldn't say it's perfect. Nothing is perfect. I have pretty much everything I want and need. I'm in a very happy place in life right now.....only took 37 years to get here!
Aww you describe my John to a T. He would rather it just be the two of us with no pets I do not take him to many social events because he wants to leave way before I do. I think in our younger years I resented him for his anti social behavior but I understand it and respect it now. He's worth it Sometimes I feel sorry for him because we are so polar opposite. I would have a house full of kids (not my own) animals and friends all the time if I could get away with it. After 30 years of marriage we've grown to compliment each other. Sometimes he enjoys our social life and I've grown to really appreciate our quiet time together. Opposites can have a great marriage.
Great post, but...why do you feel sorry for your husband?
Quote:
Originally Posted by southernnaturelover
I couldn't have kids because I just can't see myself doing many of the "parental duties". Stuff like parent-teacher meetings, school plays, t-ball practice, shopping for school clothes, etc... I watch my sister do those things with her kids and it just seems so exhausting to me.
Yep.
OP,
Great thread!
I am married, no kids thank God. I have never wanted them.
I love living in the City, but I would love to live in a huge mansion behind gated walls. LOL Oh, well.
My husband is an extrovert, but he understands me and we also compliment each other. He keeps me from being stuck in my head too much. I help him slow down and enjoy life.
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I love silliness and all things funny and make an effort to find something to laugh about at least once a day. 
I do not take him to many social events because he wants to leave way before I do. I think in our younger years I resented him for his anti social behavior but I understand it and respect it now. He's worth it 
