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I am not unhappy, I am happy, don't think I am depressed. I only started this thread because i recently turned 39, if there is a family in my future, I don't have much time to mess around, have to use this year to figure out my situation, because i am going to end up an odd, lonely old man pretty soon, if i don't figure it out.
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So, you LIKE being alone. LIKE living alone. Other then occasional sex, you do not want a relationship. Guests staying at your home make you want solitude back And, somehow one day you are worried that you'll suddenly feel lonely?
Who planted that seed in your head?
The only problem here is the idea to go obtain something you don't want. Visit a nursing home, lots of people who did get married and have children die all alone, without visits. Kids don't mean that they'll stand by your side through thick and thin.
Work hard, save enough money for the future that you can handle your care in the manner you prefer during your elder years and you'll be fine.