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So, what did OP get a degree in? I think that is the key that is missing here or at least it would be a place to start thinking about where the future might lie.
OP get any job and start establishing a work history. Having been basically unemployed for the length of time that you have will make it very hard to get a really desirable job. Most employers are looking for someone that shows a desire to work and they'll want to know what you have been doing for the last 18 months.
I'm not sure how to post link with my iPad, but I'm going to include this information on your thread because your thread will be read by people looking for information on Narcissist Personality Disorder. Even if they don't realize, yet, that they are looking for information on NPD.
The book "Malignent Self Love" by Sam Vaknin is THE BIBLE on NPD.
Vaknin is a Narcissist.
He has a website, you tube videos, and other books on the issues surrounding NPD, including information about/for victims of Narcissistic Abuse.
There is an interesting dichotomy here. You had the confidence to make and release a music CD, yet you say you have low self esteem. Very few people have the confidence to make themselves so vulnerable as to actually make a CD. That is a huge risk and you took it.
What you suffer from is being in your early 20s in a culture that mainly values fame, stardom, and success in glamour, creative fields.
My Rx for that is about 10-15 years of adulthood, taken straight. Get a job, have a relationship, and discover the little day to day satisfactions as one of millions of us regular non famous folk. It's not so bad.
So, what did OP get a degree in? I think that is the key that is missing here or at least it would be a place to start thinking about where the future might lie.
OP get any job and start establishing a work history. Having been basically unemployed for the length of time that you have will make it very hard to get a really desirable job. Most employers are looking for someone that shows a desire to work and they'll want to know what you have been doing for the last 18 months.
I majored in Art History in college. I liked my major but probably should have pursued something else during that time. Yes, it's true I have little desire to work a conventional job beyond the financial necessity of doing so. I also have such a negative view of myself it is hard to sell myself, and have little in the way of experience or achievements to point to. I really will have to just make up a story as to why I have this long resume gap, since I mainly have been half heartedly looking for jobs or travelling around the country alone with no real purpose.
Thanks for the links, but I know my fear of failure is mostly to blame for my laziness.
Last edited by Cryinbaby; 11-23-2015 at 02:31 AM..
I majored in Art History in college. I liked my major but probably should have pursued something else during that time. Yes, it's true I have little desire to work a conventional job beyond the financial necessity of doing so. I also have such a negative view of myself it is hard to sell myself, and have little in the way of experience or achievements to point to. I really will have to just make up a story as to why I have this long resume gap, since I mainly have been half heartedly looking for jobs or travelling around the country alone with no real purpose.
Thanks for the links, but I know my fear of failure is mostly to blame for my laziness.
OP, I have read this entire thread and I find your "illness" to be quite the common "illness" in many young people, including myself. I am 28 years old. In the not so distant past, I thought I was going to be a professional motocross racer because I was good at riding. I also thought that somehow I was going to come into a bunch of money magically and start my own business and never really have to "work". Somewhere, somehow I woke up and smelt the coffee and realized I have to start at the bottom just like everyone else. I wasn't born into money as so many people on TV and in magazines seem to be. I came from a poor family that came from a poor family that immigrated here form Europe in about 1890...
Fast forward to today and I am doing well for myself. I am married and have 3 great kids a house a mortgage and decent cars etc. I have accepted the fact that I will have to work for the rest of my life to live decently.
What I highlighted in bold is something I am studying off and on during my free time. I want to know why this is the case with so many Millenialls. At least the OP is realizing it now rather then at age 40 when they've spent half their life living off of subsidized services as so many millennials are destined to do. Really though the fact that your beginning to come to terms with reality speaks leaps and bounds about you. Take it and run with it OP. Many people go through life hoping that they will win big somehow or something. My aunt is a narcissist, she's 45 years old, has no teeth, has barely enough money to buy smokes and gas for her dilapidated car. She says she dating a "millionaire" when in fact he is just a regular guy who inherited his fathers auto repair business. If the business were to be sold and all assets liquidated, he may have a million dollars, that is, before he pays what it owed on back taxes. I spoke with him and he told me. But in her mind she's got it made, a delusion for sure. The fact that you realize your delusional is great! Your on the path to greatness already you just dont know it.
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