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I generally don't engage in gossip. Not because I'm morally superior, or because I'm some zen-Oprah type who cares about not wrapping myself in "negative energy."
I just don't get involved in gossip because it would require me to care more than I really do about people I'm just not close to. I just find chit-chatting with people to be draining in general, and chit-chatting about other people's lives is just boring to me and energy-sucking. It's right up there with people who talk about their weekends, or sports, or the weather.
We talk a lot here about introverts, and how we detest small-talk and how interaction that's not very meaningful is just draining to us. So I wonder if, in general, extraverts enjoy or engage in gossip more than introverts do? That would be an interesting subject for research.
I just feel like my mouth would get tired to talk about something I don't really care about. And to sit and listen to someone else doing it just makes me need a nap. Do all the people who love to gossip really CARE about all those other people you talk about, either positively or negatively? Do they really matter to you? Am I lacking in something because I don't give enough of a crap about most people to talk about them, unless it directly affects me in a big way, or it has a serious impact on company operations at work? Sure there are people I don't like, but it's not like I have strong feelings about them. It's just more like "I find her annoying {shrug}" instead of some burning white-hot hatred that would compel me to spend time talking about the person.
Once in a very great while there might be something that's so major and juicy about a person that I might be entertained by hearing about it. But that's something big, like an ex-coworker I never liked who was arrested for embezzlement from her new company, or the father and husband who suddenly left his wife and kids and announced he's gay and addicted to drugs. Sure those examples were okay for 15 minutes of conversation. But how often does stuff like that happen to people I know?
People without anything interesting going on in their lives LOVE gossip. When you're earnestly trying to achieve something you don't have time for it. Gossip is a way to spend time when you have too much to spare.
this.
The gossipers at my job are coincidentally the ones who are at the root of --all-- childish drama and negativity. They create it at work, then go home and keep it going on facebook. I work at a non-profit so its particularly bad. A very sore subject for me. I had no idea humans could be so miserable
It doesn't make any sense. What's so great about talking about other people anyway while we could've talked about ideas for startups, retirement plans or hell, as much as I sound like a whiny teen, about our universe. I admit it it'd be a lie to say that I don't enjoy talking about that guy who got fired from work for cursing at his boss. Then again, what causes us to like gossiping so much? Is it genetic?
How does this behavior enhance your life? Does it make you feel better to discuss someone else's deragatory experiences?
Quote:
Originally Posted by aneye4detail
I find that I enjoy my share of gossiping because in it, I am "bonding" with the person with whom I'm conversing. "Don't you think she should stop wearing those mini-skirts and hose since she is 45 years old, and it is 2015?" "Yes! What was she thinking??" Now, I have had my thoughts validated by someone I respect and have a relationship with.
Gossip also gets you possible inside info that you may have been wondering about.
You are not "bonding" with anyone you are being shallow and judgmental in addition to trying to discover more "dirt" on others. Disgusting behavior for anyone over the age of 6 and most certainly the actions of a mature adult in a professional work place setting.
For many people it is a way of bonding with others (by depicting another set of people as "others" and thus implying that the speaker and listener are "special") and also of venting.
How does this behavior enhance your life? Does it make you feel better to discuss someone else's deragatory experiences?
You are not "bonding" with anyone you are being shallow and judgmental in addition to trying to discover more "dirt" on others. Disgusting behavior for anyone over the age of 6 and most certainly the actions of a mature adult in a professional work place setting.
Human beings possess an innate curiosity, a desire to 'know', a desire to learn secrets that may be hidden to others. This trait is, in no small way, responsible for for their rise from being ignorant animals to the achievements of knowledge that have put men on the moon and split the atom. This trait confers a survival advantage that is reinforced through evolution.
The act of 'gossiping' satisfies the receiver's desire to 'know', and the giver's desire to share a 'secret' which makes them appear knowledgeable (feeds the ego). The act of sharing the 'secret' also implies that the receiver is somehow 'worthy' of receiving the knowledge of this 'secret', which feeds his/her ego.
I view those who engage in gossip as petty shallow humans. I never understood why anyone would find it desirable to gossip about others.
I have zero interest in gossip.
If anyone tries to gossip in front of me...I stop them and kindly inform them that I don't participate in gossip nor do I tolerate anyone gossiping to me about other people.
I know why people gossip. Because they think they don't have anything worth saying in a conversation like about current events for example unless it is a story about someone else. Their world is too small and narrow. I just whirl around and walk away from them with no "by your leave".
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