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It doesn't make any sense. What's so great about talking about other people anyway while we could've talked about ideas for startups, retirement plans or hell, as much as I sound like a whiny teen, about our universe. I admit it it'd be a lie to say that I don't enjoy talking about that guy who got fired from work for cursing at his boss. Then again, what causes us to like gossiping so much? Is it genetic?
I find that I enjoy my share of gossiping because in it, I am "bonding" with the person with whom I'm conversing. "Don't you think she should stop wearing those mini-skirts and hose since she is 45 years old, and it is 2015?" "Yes! What was she thinking??" Now, I have had my thoughts validated by someone I respect and have a relationship with.
Gossip also gets you possible inside info that you may have been wondering about.
People without anything interesting going on in their lives LOVE gossip. When you're earnestly trying to achieve something you don't have time for it. Gossip is a way to spend time when you have too much to spare.
We learn a lot about each other when we gossip. It's how we tell our collective story on a daily/weekly/monthly basis, without having to write a book. I learn as much, btw, about myself and the gossiper as I do about the gossipee. It's essential in any functioning community.
It also is a form of social capital. It puts you in a position of "power" when you have something to share that some might perceive as interesting.
Right, and not all gossip is mean-spirited. I just got off the phone with a co-worker who wanted to tell me what so-and-so said in a meeting. I was intrigued, and it wasn't anything that we wouldn't have talked about if so-and-so was around. I'd certainly be annoyed if she wanted to talk about start-ups or the universe.
And sometimes I think denigrating gossip is a way to diminish women--"Oh, those catty women and their silly gossip," when really most people find the goings-on of other people interesting.
It's generally thought that people who gossip have a need to diminish others so that they can elevate themselves somehow.
But it is just another form of school yard bullying with vindictive words instead of fists.
If that's what you bring to gossip, that has more to do with you than those you're talking about. Gossip isn't inherently diminishing, bullying, or vindictive. It is only those things when you make it so.
If that's what you bring to gossip, that has more to do with you than those you're talking about. Gossip isn't inherently diminishing, bullying, or vindictive. It is only those things when you make it so.
Yes, that's true. But realistically most people are not being kind and compassionate when they talk about others behind their backs.
If you would not say it to the person being talked about then don't say it behind their backs. Period.
Anything not mean spirited or judgmental isn't "gossip" in my viewpoint but more like innocent information sharing. Like exchanging news about individuals within a family. So perhaps it's a matter of terminology and what you perceive of as gossip.
I felt that the OP was referring to the mean spirited form that involves small minds who naturally tend to focus on small talk (i.e. usually bashing others) instead of more far reaching philosophical ideas that would appeal to intellectual people.
Even though I'm not often seen in the company of people like Stephen Hawking I greatly prefer the latter and would walk away from someone who began frivolous going over of the coals or a demeaning diatribe about someone not there to defend themselves.
I've always heard it said that "Great people talk about ideas", "Average people talk about things" and "Little people talk about other people" (gossip)
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