I am not suicidal but... (inability, depressed, thoughts, relationship)
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I want to die. But I would never kill my self. I have too much to live for. My mother would probably die of sadness and I will miss her. Is this normal to feel like this? I don't feel unhappy. But if I had to choose between life or death, I would choose death. I would like to hear your thoughts.
Please don't quote...I may delete this post in the future.
Could you maybe expand on some of the rationale that's causing this sense? I ask because nobody just Wants to die...there are reason's. such as influences by society, friends, family members, job front and so on..
This feeling was described to me many times during my years at work ( HC system/ER) ..and best way they could describe it..They don't feel they have anything to live for. based on inability to succeed at some of the goals you set or plans falling through or relationship where you have been made to feel useless.
It's more common during holiday times ( especially Christmas/New Years) but also during late fall and winter times. People who work shift work often become "Blue" because of lack of daylight ...senses of futility, disappointment in oneself and sense of failure seems to creep into one's head when one becomes disengaged with something or anything which makes you happy ( truly happy/feeling joyful)..
Keep chin up..think positive thoughts, look for something to do ( besides blogging on a internet board that is) that interests you etc... Maybe give some hints of "things you like or aspirations for you like"..
I want to die. But I would never kill my self. I have too much to live for. My mother would probably die of sadness and I will miss her. Is this normal to feel like this? I don't feel unhappy. But if I had to choose between life or death, I would choose death. I would like to hear your thoughts.
Could you maybe expand on some of the rationale that's causing this sense? I ask because nobody just Wants to die...there are reason's. such as influences by society, friends, family members, job front and so on..
This feeling was described to me many times during my years at work ( HC system/ER) ..and best way they could describe it..They don't feel they have anything to live for. based on inability to succeed at some of the goals you set or plans falling through or relationship where you have been made to feel useless.
It's more common during holiday times ( especially Christmas/New Years) but also during late fall and winter times. People who work shift work often become "Blue" because of lack of daylight ...senses of futility, disappointment in oneself and sense of failure seems to creep into one's head when one becomes disengaged with something or anything which makes you happy ( truly happy/feeling joyful)..
Keep chin up..think positive thoughts, look for something to do ( besides blogging on a internet board that is) that interests you etc... Maybe give some hints of "things you like or aspirations for you like"..
Well for one I am 33 now and I can't wait to marry and have children. Then most of the time I just lack the will to live and keep going. I have been feeling this way for more than a year now. I feel hopeless.
Nothing interests me anymore.
I feel like a loser compared to most people my age. I know I sound pathetic...I know this!
I want to die. But I would never kill my self. I have too much to live for. My mother would probably die of sadness and I will miss her. Is this normal to feel like this? I don't feel unhappy. But if I had to choose between life or death, I would choose death. I would like to hear your thoughts.
Please don't quote...I may delete this post in the future.
Your first two sentences are contradictions, it is either or but not both.
I know what you mean! I've felt the same way throughout a lot of my life. Like if I could just die naturally in my sleep or being shot or some normal way I wouldn't mind that.
A certain sign of depression! You NEED to get on anti-depressants and have a professional to talk to. Talking things over helps tremendously IF you have a good professional.
I'm with you, OP! I would choose death too. I started a thread on this very topic a couple of years ago. I have depression, and it sounds like you do too. You can either try to find a good treatment plan that works for you and try to eliminate these thoughts or you can just keep living like you have been. I came to the conclusion that there's nothing wrong with wanting to die. Like you, I would never act on these thoughts out of respect and love for my family. Some of us just don't enjoy the experience of living or the nonsense that comes with living outweighs the joy we get out of it. There's nothing wrong with that unless you want that to change. So pursue treatment if you wish, but I don't think there's anything necessarily wrong with someone who doesn't want to live anymore given what's going on in the world today.
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I know I sound pathetic...I know this!
