Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
OverItAll, you're not an INTJ (Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory), by any chance, are you? That's very rare in women, and I'm sure is my entire problem, LOL!
Penny, I have instantly connected with people before -- both individuals and groups (or "tribes," even)... So I know I have it in me! But, for me, it either happens naturally or it doesn't. At the moment, it's not happening, but I'm stuck here. I'm not one to fake it, force it, or settle; would rather just be alone.
^^^never took the MMPI or Meyers-Briggs. Would be curious as to results.
I think I'm just reallly damaged and emotionally dead. I feel like a total of 5 emotions, all negative. Envy, irritation, disgust, distress, aversion. Lifelong, this is not something new. I've never felt anything else except add stress and fear to those 5 when I was a kid.
On a good day I feel neutral, mellow. That's as good as it gets for me.
(starting thread for a fellow hermit who was too shy to; LOL)
Anyone else find themselves all alone in the world, either by chance or by choice? What is your back story, and how do you feel about and cope with it?
I'm physically alone in this world most of the time. The only time I'm usually around people is when I go to work or grocery shopping. The rest of the time I'm at home in my weird little world and I feel best when I'm by myself with no one directly judging me. For me, it's a choice. Even as a child I preferred my own company to the company of others and never sought out friendships. I still had friends growing up, but what my friends were doing was never as enjoyable to me as my time to myself. I would still play with other kids in the neighborhood, but I always looked forward to going home and doing activities that I only I enjoyed and that no one else knew about. I had a lot of friends in elementary school, hardly any in junior high, and once high school hit I was alienated from my peers altogether and totally alone. I was that kid who sat alone at lunch and I felt like I had a contagious disease. I was so uncomfortable in my own skin. For 4 years of high school I didn't leave my room except to go to class. This was the most difficult time in my life. All I wanted to do was fit in, but who I was didn't fit in with my peers or who I wanted to be. I was suicidal during this time in my life and came pretty close a couple of times. Looking back at it now, I wish I would've been successful. Life has been even more painful since then, but I've grown numb to it and I'm no longer suicidal. I'm just ready to die.
I currently feel great about being alone. I typically only have issues when I'm around others. I'm so used to being alone that it has become comfortable. When I have to face to world outside, I need to take some time to psych myself up first. Loneliness is only an emotion I experience when I'm around a large group of people. I attended a Christmas party last night with about 20 other people and it was terrible. I felt lonely and depressed the entire time. People kept trying to engage me in conversation. I know they were just trying to be nice, but I wanted them to leave me alone. I'm only capable of awkward conversations, so they all moved on to another person after a few words. I tried making jokes and there was dead silence afterwards. I was bombing. It was my mistake for attending the party knowing how I am in social situations, but I figure it doesn't hurt to try every now and then just to see where I'm at. I seem to get worse at social situations as time goes on because I'm alone most of the time and used to being caught in my own head. I just felt bad after the party for my social ineptitude wishing I could banter like everyone else can do.
One thing that helps me cope with my hermitage is my best friend. Yes, I'm physically alone most of the time, but I have someone online that I talk to everyday throughout the day. I can tell her anything and she's the best. I'm much better at communicating in writing than in person, so I'm thankful for the internet so that I can communicate my feelings that way given that I fail majorly face-to-face. My belief is that you can be physically alone and a hermit, BUT you need at least one person to confide in. I have that and it doesn't infringe upon the freedoms I need in my life. So it's not entirely accurate to say I'm alone in this world. I'm fortunate to have someone there for me almost all the time.
Learning to enjoy doing things alone, being alone, can become as addictive as heroin, nicotine. And once you journey too far into aloneness, there's no turning back. You're hooked, spoiled, but ah-ah-ah, the pleasures are countless! Well, does having a pet (ferret) contradict what I just posted?
At any rate, so what is this "hermit" phenomenon (although our stories are different)... Depression, complicated grief, antisocial tendencies, schizoaffective disorder, a rational withdrawal from a sick society, fear of being hurt again... Any armchair psychologists have thoughts?
Or is it just OUR normal and in many ways superior and preferable to a more sociable life?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
