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Mental illness is not an excuse for violence. Is it?
There IS definitely something wrong with the boy. His mother always whined that he's mentally ill, but how does she knows that? Did she get him professional help? Because it sure sounds to me like he's had none, just a lot of worthless excuses made for him by his parents. Shame on them.
If he's just angry then there is NO excuse for him because he still knows right from wrong. He is 16 now and he damn well knows what's acceptable and not acceptable in society, and military academy may not take him.
I, too, have a nephew that became a problem when he reached towards adolescence, and he's in his 40's now and still a problem. He tried to tell me once about how he was angry growing up because his mother had to babysit so many kids that he seldom got individual attention. Tough $hit! She did it because she needed the money but he was always clean and well fed, and he's done a lot of bad things that he has no one to blame for but himself. Many years ago he stayed at my house for one week before I bought him a one-way ticket home.
In answer to the OP's question: When someone with mental illness knows that they have the problem, and know what they're supposed to do to help themselves, then NO!!!
I don't believe in enabling bad behaviors, either, no matter what. I do not think the OP did wrong in grabbing the boy's face to tell him to not hit him. I would have done the same.
I like Bonny Jean's responses. Definitely attachment issues, and we are all one potential sausage short of a barbeque.
As a believer in God, I'd language it a little different. The child is lacking being loved - in all the ways that might require, which includes discipline. Also, another responder said that mental illness is a matter for the courts - how true - how many might get off death row if they could pull that excuse out of the bag - when really it is our responsibility and we should take ownership of the problem.
I believe in the 'sins of the fathers' spiritual law, so I'd be looking to the boys recent ancestry for answers. I believe in Alternate personalities (Alters), demon possession and also Ancestral Generational Dissociation (AGD). Before everyone jumps on the 'he's an evil religious fanatic', look up AGD. I've seen it firsthand in my own soul and my wife's as God has brought healing, through repenting. It is the boys parents that are the key link - if they deal with their AGD sins the links through to the boy will be substantially broken. When my wife and I got healed up, our sons behaviour improved immediately.
Look up 'Bob Larson Irish Priest'. Everything I am saying is demonstrated in that 10 minute or so video.
God bless and release us all from our infirmities and strongholds. In the fulness of time, we will be.
I'm convinced my spoiled rotting messed up nephew is intentionally getting kicked out of every boarding school he attends as he has learned that he can get away with hitting, kicking and now, biting his teachers. This is the same kid who at 6 years old slugged me hard, in the face, while I was giving him music lessons and when I grabbed his face and scolded him to NOT EVER HIT ME OR ANYONE ELSE EVER AGAIN he ran from the room and returned with mommy, who proceeded to demand that I apologize to Miles. Well, I didn't. He's now 16 and he has hit his way out of 6 - 7 boarding schools. The last one out in the Rockies was supposed to be the last stop, where no matter what he did they'd figure out how to tame and teach the kid. Nope. He assaulted a teacher and went on probation, then he punched and bit another time and he was thrown out. Kicked a teacher in the nuts, hard. I asked my sister "Does he know it's wrong, what he does, or is he just being manipulative because he does not want to go to school?" She blurted out "Cwags, he's MENTALLY ILL! He can't help it!" I call BS. You can teach an animal not to go near a flame or they will get burned again. And even children with learning disabilities or other cognitive issues can and are successfully taught to not hit and kick people. At 16 this is getting really serious; he just does not want to go to school and uses violence to get his way. He'd never been taught it is wrong because he is successful with it. I say it's not 'mental illness' but rather a history of enabling behavior and coddling that has brought Miles to the brink of disaster...either that or a military academy. I think the time is nigh for this kid to get a kick in the behind and a smack in the face when it's needed to straighten him out. Someday, someone will hit him back and it won't be pretty. Meanwhile, the kids future dims everyday since his options are getting limited by his checkered record at school. He's falling further and further behind, has no real friends since he never is in one place very long and I worry so for his future. Anyway, my bottom line is: Mental illness is not an excuse for violence. Is it?
No. That's a side effect of the lack of parenting.
He may have a mental illness, be experiencing attachment disorder, be demonstrating the lack of appropriate parental nurturing and guidance, be acting out because he's getting one over on folks, or have an anti-social personality disorder and is headed straight to the big house.
I suspect that somewhere along the way, he will meet up with folks who won't put up with that nonsense. And then mental illness or no mental illness, he'll learn to be more selective about who he kicks in the nuts.
I believe in the 'sins of the fathers' spiritual law, so I'd be looking to the boys recent ancestry for answers. I believe in Alternate personalities (Alters), demon possession and also Ancestral Generational Dissociation (AGD). Before everyone jumps on the 'he's an evil religious fanatic', look up AGD. I've seen it firsthand in my own soul and my wife's as God has brought healing, through repenting. It is the boys parents that are the key link - if they deal with their AGD sins the links through to the boy will be substantially broken. When my wife and I got healed up, our sons behaviour improved immediately.
Crimminy. This is the 21st century, not the Dark Ages.
The only thing relevant is the old common-sense adages of "Spare the rod, spoil the child" and "Train up a child in the way he should go..."
Not all children need the 'rod', but there are some for whom nothing else works.
My wife has a cousin, who was very much similar to the kid described. By the time he was 17, he was a pretty good sized dude and still pulling that stuff. At a family barbecue one year he lashed out at a related adult (uncle)...who promptly wailed the tar out of him. When he was done, he said "You may think you're big and tough, but there's always going to be someone bigger and tougher who isn't gonna stand for your [crap], and if you keep it up you just might end up dead. You'd better learn to straighten up and fly right before that happens."
He learned.
...release us all from our infirmities and strongholds. In the fulness of time, we will be.
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Yes, we can only hope, that some time in the near future reason and logic will prevail over over beliefs not rooted in reality.
No kicking and screaming is not an excuse for abuse of a teacher. Mental health is a serious condition however they can be treated, so if the person does not want to get treated than they are causing harm to others because they are not treating the problem.
Do you drink coffee, tea or smoke cigs? Then you have Substance Abuse Disorder.
Irrational Fear of Clowns? Anxiety Disorder.
Need to tap your head before you leave the house? OCD.
Basically all humanity is one sugar high away from Screaming Insanity at any given moment.
Put caffeine and sugar Together, we have Humanity's favorite poison - a mood bending cocktail called Energy Drinks which are one high again on from Coca Cola.
You seem to understand my point. Why are people so afraid to admit the fragility within us. We all want to pretend we're strong, and as we go about our daily business to a large degree we are. But to think you are not one tick away from breaking, one incident which might set you off, then I think you are in denial.
We all walk a fine line every day. I've flipped the bird to drivers before and been angry, but I've controlled myself. Like you said, cigarettes for instance are an addiction, and if you say it's 100% physiological that you can't quit, I call BS. You have the mental capacity to do so. Maybe mentally ill isn't the best way to put it all the time. Mentally weak? Mentally unstable?
This is not spoiled brat behavior you are describing...there is not one normal thing about that kids behavior whether he is spoiled or not, he is mentally disturbed and needs more help than just a tougher school with more structure.
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