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I am pregnant with my first - and after a horrible conversation this morning with my mother where she threatened to not be a part of my child's life, I am taking her up on this threat. I blocked her numbers and her email from all of my accounts. I have dealt with her at this point for decades, and excused her and her family's behavior, but now that the stakes are higher, it's time.
I didn't feel great, like it felt mean to do, but I feel relief, like I'm starting a new chapter without this abusive person to drag me down. I feel sorry that she and my dad will miss out on my kid's lives, and I am making an effort not to see them at holidays, but I don't want the kids to experience what I experienced.
Has anyone else successfully cut out a toxic parent (or parents)?
I did, for a year. But we reconciled, and things have been better.
You will need backup, though. The hard part - reinforcing those boundaries - is yet to come, especially after the grandbaby arrives.
You're right. I didn't talk to my mother for years. She weasled her way in for our wedding, and managed to cause something of a fight over that, and I'm really done. Moms are supposed to be moms. Not an endless source of stress and worry.
Check out the "Out of the Fog" forum - its for people with personality disordered parents. They have one forum dedicated to people who have gone no contact with their parent(s).
Check out the "Out of the Fog" forum - its for people with personality disordered parents. They have one forum dedicated to people who have gone no contact with their parent(s).
Omg. This is so amazing. Thank you for this resource. My mom definitely falls into this category. And my father just lets her do whatever she wants to whomever she wants. It's exhausting.
Omg. This is so amazing. Thank you for this resource. My mom definitely falls into this category. And my father just lets her do whatever she wants to whomever she wants. It's exhausting.
I'm glad you like it- its really a wonderful resource, and a place to connect with others who struggle with this challenging problem.
I am pregnant with my first - and after a horrible conversation this morning with my mother where she threatened to not be a part of my child's life, I am taking her up on this threat. I blocked her numbers and her email from all of my accounts. I have dealt with her at this point for decades, and excused her and her family's behavior, but now that the stakes are higher, it's time.
I didn't feel great, like it felt mean to do, but I feel relief, like I'm starting a new chapter without this abusive person to drag me down. I feel sorry that she and my dad will miss out on my kid's lives, and I am making an effort not to see them at holidays, but I don't want the kids to experience what I experienced.
Has anyone else successfully cut out a toxic parent (or parents)?
I think better would be a heart to heart conversation and then tell her if she doesn't change her ways she'll be cut out.
I think better would be a heart to heart conversation and then tell her if she doesn't change her ways she'll be cut out.
My mom doesn't do heart to hearts. That's actually what spawned the latest. I told her that something she said hurt my feelings. Verbatim. And she absolutely flipped her ****. Cursed, screamed, said horrible things. I kept my cool, a lot because I was in my office at work, and a lot because I'm pregnant and I can't be yelling and screaming. She's really sick.
This is scary. One of my moms favorite things to do is to say "maybe you imagined that" when you point out something hurtful that she's said. Absolutely scary how spot on this is. Thank you.
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