What are common comments people make about you? (boyfriend, parent)
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Yeah and it doesn't help with jobs either I think except in that case I get NO employers wanting to hire me whether they're aholes or not esp when you consider I don't have the work experience that correlates with my years on this earth.
Yep. People can be condescending with jobs. I was a younger adult, working a part time job. And everyone there referred to me as "Hon." I came to hate that word, along with "sweetie" or "sweetheart."
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I have gotten Mexican old men checking me out some but never did a guy I like pay any attention to me although that was odd in high school because we would all be underage..unless maybe they assumed I was in a lower grade?
And I say Mexican because it gets creepy as they tend not to say anything. They just sit/stand there and smile. It's creepy when they don't speak English.
Same thing happened to me a few years ago. I was a bit more dressed up, as I was taking pictures. My mother wanted to stop by a Mexican restaurant. One guy behind the counter seemed to find me interesting. Then we left, waiting for the food to be ready, and when we came back, he went to the back and came back up with 3 or 4 friends who all wanted to stare.
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There's nothing good about looking young when you're trying to be an adult and taken seriously by guys who you'd want to date. I'm not into make-up or wearing dresses myself so that doesn't help me.
Yep. I don't wear either of those things either. But I would just need blush and lipstick. because I keep my eyes hidden behind tinted glasses these days.
Hair is also another thing. Do you have long hair? I have heard numerous times that long hair is associated with youth. I never thought it was that bad, unlike wearing pigtails + hairbows or something.But I am stuck there, because I don't have the face or head to make short hair look good. Plus short hair will be harder to manage, as my hair is curly, and too short will make it shoot out all over the place.
I could start wearing skirts that look more business like and more adult work heals. Just tricky to find a good-fitting pair. I avoid any clothes with writing or designs on them. No glitter. Not hoodies. No sneakers. And no jeans.
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What's worse is I don't like being the center of attention so getting that unwanted attention is the worst thing in the world to me and so when I really need attention it gets more crushing.
Yeah. I hate being the center of attention. It doesn't help that I have a weird look, so I am often stared at when I go out, or get asked questions by people who find it so damn interesting.
But getting unwanted attention, or attention from people you don't want it from is frustrating, and can be upsetting. I just tune people out these days. So when I am out, I have music in, which may get the point across that I don't want to be bothered.
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Fine it's great when you're old but I don't want to think about far into the future so it doesn't help me feel better at all
Yep. My mother doesn't get that. I was telling her about the nurse the other day thinking I was 12. She comments she'd love it if someone thought she was 12. And she insists I will want to look younger when I am older. Ok fine. When I am 60+ I may wanna look 30, or 40. But I find nothing good about looking like a kid.
I think I mentioned it here. But again, looking younger is fine when you're older.
Last edited by HappyRain; 06-13-2016 at 03:12 AM..
Hair is also another thing. Do you have long hair? I have heard numerous times that long hair is associated with youth. I never thought it was that bad, unlike wearing pigtails + hairbows or something.But I am stuck there, because I don't have the face or head to make short hair look good. Plus short hair will be harder to manage, as my hair is curly, and too short will make it shoot out all over the place.
I could start wearing skirts that look more business like and more adult work heals. Just tricky to find a good-fitting pair. I avoid any clothes with writing or designs on them. No glitter. Not hoodies. No sneakers. And no jeans.
Yeah I have long hair so that may help but if that's the case I don't know why when that one time I cut my hair just above my shoulders, I still got some people saying how I looked younger.
Maybe it's the way I regularly dress because I tend to wear shirts with dolphins or ones from concerts I went to but it seems kinda stupid to have to change my taste in clothing just to get people to stop saying about how I look younger. Idk did they ever think that maybe you can be biologically older but have a youthful soul? Why do things like liking dolphins or going to concerts have an age limit? I mean like I said I don't like to draw attention to myself so I won't wear my only pair of booty shorts while I'm running out places but at the same time I do want to be who I am and express myself. That probly doesn't make any sense. I don't like to stand out but I don't want to follow the crowd either.
I do wear what my coach told me to wear at the interviews (though I feel weird in it) but I dunno if that helps or not. They wouldn't be allowed to point out in an interview about my appearance obviously so it's hard to tell. I have to be careful what I wear shoe wise because I have plantar fasciitis now so heels would be the worst but I do have a pair of dress shoes that are supposed to be good for the feet so hopefully that's good enough.
I'm not sure about attire to picking up application/following up. Supposedly they care about that too. I have a plain blueish shirt and shorts that I compromised on but I can't wear that one all the time since it's the only one I have and sometimes I might be out and about picking up an application while shopping you know.
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Originally Posted by VanillaChocolate
It doesn't help that I have a weird look, so I am often stared at when I go out, or get asked questions by people who find it so damn interesting.
Yeah I don't think I have a look that is weird enough to be stared at, idk just a baby face though that is enough. I do have a tooth that makes me feel really freaky.like everyone would be looking at if I opened my mouth. Supposedly it is a baby tooth that never fell out. I also have a "weak eye muscle" but I'm not sure you can see it unless you're really looking into my eyes so maybe it isn't obvious.
I think what makes me attract attention is more internal like my speech issues or feeling lost/being clumsy. There was a time in high school I fell up the bus it made me really embarrassed because I feel like everyone saw it.
I like to sing all the time so I'll get the urge to sing sometimes while I'm walking but once a person comes up the road I immediately stop because I don't want them to hear me or be looking at me. I do not know if that attracts more attention by doing that or not but I try to be subtle when I do it. It seems to work? But sometimes I really do wonder if by trying so hard to not be the center of attention makes me more prone to attention because for example when I'm at concerts and I'm just standing there like I don't give a crap does that make me stand out to people I don't want looking at me as everyone else is screaming? I just find it really hard to show my emotions like that sometimes even knowing this because I am a reserved person IRL.
Does jewelry make you look more like a woman rather than a girl? I do love jewelry but I would think it would depend on what it was for you to look more mature. It'd probly have to be super fancy which means too much money for me.
Last edited by Nickchick; 06-13-2016 at 01:00 PM..
Yeah I have long hair so that may help but if that's the case I don't know why when that one time I cut my hair just above my shoulders, I still got some people saying how I looked younger.
Not it's not definite. For some people a specific and good cut makes them look more mature. For others, they look the same. And some look like a mess, and can't carry short hair well.
So if you have tried cutting before, and still looked younger, I wouldn't worry then. Your hair is not the problem, apparently.
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Maybe it's the way I regularly dress because I tend to wear shirts with dolphins or ones from concerts I went to but it seems kinda stupid to have to change my taste in clothing just to get people to stop saying about how I look younger. Idk did they ever think that maybe you can be biologically older but have a youthful soul? Why do things like liking dolphins or going to concerts have an age limit? I mean like I said I don't like to draw attention to myself so I won't wear my only pair of booty shorts while I'm running out places but at the same time I do want to be who I am and express myself. That probly doesn't make any sense. I don't like to stand out but I don't want to follow the crowd either.
I do wear what my coach told me to wear at the interviews (though I feel weird in it) but I dunno if that helps or not. They wouldn't be allowed to point out in an interview about my appearance obviously so it's hard to tell. I have to be careful what I wear shoe wise because I have plantar fasciitis now so heels would be the worst but I do have a pair of dress shoes that are supposed to be good for the feet so hopefully that's good enough.
I'm not sure about attire to picking up application/following up. Supposedly they care about that too. I have a plain blueish shirt and shorts that I compromised on but I can't wear that one all the time since it's the only one I have and sometimes I might be out and about picking up an application while shopping you know.
Yes. Dress style can play a part in it. One poster here mentions she does not wear hoodies, and those are typically associated with young. On 1 rare instance she wore a hoodie one day. And a HS guy asked her out. This poster is at least 30.
So dress style you have to play with as well. I am still learning myself and trying for things that look nice and adult, but not to "try-hard" or too "old lady."
But I don't wear stuff I hate. I don't advise that. But you can find things that may look more adult, but also cute. Some clothes I though I would hate I loved once I had them on with the right thing. Sometimes experimenting opens your eyes to different styles. And my taste has gotten old. lol when I watch older sitcoms, I like some of the clothes the female leads wore in the 80s and 90s.
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Yeah I don't think I have a look that is weird enough to be stared at, idk just a baby face though that is enough. I do have a tooth that makes me feel really freaky.like everyone would be looking at if I opened my mouth. Supposedly it is a baby tooth that never fell out. I also have a "weak eye muscle" but I'm not sure you can see it unless you're really looking into my eyes so maybe it isn't obvious.
I think what makes me attract attention is more internal like my speech issues or feeling lost/being clumsy. There was a time in high school I fell up the bus it made me really embarrassed because I feel like everyone saw it.
Well for me, I am black, but have albinism. So there for, my skin is white, eyes are green, and my hair is blonde. So usually people are staring because they don't know what ethnicity I am. So the staring is annoying. And so are people just coming up to me and asking. I don't see why it matters, or what's so fascinating about it. And even more annoying living in a small town, and if you mention "albinism", people usually don't know what it is, then you have to explain that. One Asian lady who thought I had a skin disorder and that I was dark and my skin pealed off white.
My eyes are odd as well. But very it's obvious. Basically they can't be straight at the same time, being that they pull on each other. So, I just hide them behind tinted glasses these days. Another fashionable choice to fix a flaw.
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I like to sing all the time so I'll get the urge to sing sometimes while I'm walking but once a person comes up the road I immediately stop because I don't want them to hear me or be looking at me. I do not know if that attracts more attention by doing that or not but I try to be subtle when I do it. It seems to work? But sometimes I really do wonder if by trying so hard to not be the center of attention makes me more prone to attention because for example when I'm at concerts and I'm just standing there like I don't give a crap does that make me stand out to people I don't want looking at me as everyone else is screaming? I just find it really hard to show my emotions like that sometimes even knowing this because I am a reserved person IRL.
Sadly being reserved can draw more attention. But that is probably a rarity, and for the most part if you're quite, people won't care or notice. Maybe friends or family would critique on being quiet. But mostly, many probably won't notice. So, I think you're fine. The main ones who do notice are probably intenionally looking for stuff to notice and wonder about.
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Does jewelry make you look more like a woman rather than a girl? I do love jewelry but I would think it would depend on what it was for you to look more mature. It'd probly have to be super fancy which means too much money for me.
Jewelry can help. But it probably is best to stay simple, that way you don't run the risk of over doing it. You kind of have to try different styles to see what works for you. And it won't always cost an limb. Just wear some nice earrings and a necklace perhaps. You may not want to go with anything too gaudy.
Sometimes, it probably is nothing you can do. You could dress completely different and everyone will still think you're a kind until something happens where you grow into your looks -possibly at 50 lol. I joke sometimes that maybe I will look 18 when I am 40. lol
Yeah and it doesn't help with jobs either I think except in that case I get NO employers wanting to hire me whether they're aholes or not esp when you consider I don't have the work experience that correlates with my years on this earth.
I have gotten Mexican old men checking me out some but never did a guy I like pay any attention to me although that was odd in high school because we would all be underage..unless maybe they assumed I was in a lower grade?
And I say Mexican because it gets creepy as they tend not to say anything. They just sit/stand there and smile. It's creepy when they don't speak English.
There's nothing good about looking young when you're trying to be an adult and taken seriously by guys who you'd want to date. I'm not into make-up or wearing dresses myself so that doesn't help me.
What's worse is I don't like being the center of attention so getting that unwanted attention is the worst thing in the world to me and so when I really need attention it gets more crushing.
Fine it's great when you're old but I don't want to think about far into the future so it doesn't help me feel better at all.
I had to bold that part because I've been through it, too. Nothing worse than lecherous old goats, no matter the ethnicity.
I also hate being the center of attention. My name ain't 2pac and this ain't All Eyez On Me.
"You're so smart/intelligent/smartypants..." I think I'm just emotionally intelligent. I can tap into people's behaviors, motivations and emotions and love playing counselor when approached for relationship/life skills advice. I'm nowhere near the whole Big Bang Theory geek smart...
I also receive "You would make a great mom". HA! I always reply with "No, I wouldn't. I'm too selfish to deal with a kid 24/7" I think it's because I generally have a warm personality, and call everyone honey.
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LOL 
