Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I didn't even know what "gay" was until my early 20's. I was raised by grandparents who were very strict and I had little knowledge of sexual things until I married for the first time at 18. But since I have never been attracted to women I guess I would say I have always been straight.
I can't imagine the shock of getting a crash-course in sex ed from your shiny new husband on the wedding night.
this is an interesting thread. I guess that as a straight person, i don't know when i knew i was straight. i just "was", if that makes sense. I guess that *everyone* was socialized to "get married to someone of the opposite sex someday ad have children". it's just the way everyone was. i grew up in a religious world in the 1960-70s, so being gay was something that we giggled about, and there were rumors about some people having been "caught" in a same-sex situation, but i never knew anyone who "came out". We were socialzied in a certain way, and i remember having "boyfriends" when i was 7, 8.
I knew I liked girls by the time I was in third grade.
Didn't know why I liked them.
Didn't know what the heck I liked about them.
It wasn't even sexual in any way, and wouldn't be for a few years yet. But it was there.
I wouldn't call it 'knowing my sexuality' - this was in the 1970s, and to the extent that I might've put this together as an early manifestation of the reason that men and women paired off in society (which they obviously do and did), I had no idea at the time that there was any other sort of sexuality out there.
As a gay person, I was around 5 when I noticed that I liked males.
My first crush was a church minister. I remember, when he missed a few days at church I used to get a little blue. Also at that age, we used to have some 50 year old man who visited us often. I used to get "aroused" every time he would smoke or put me in his lap. That was the first time in my life when I felt butterflies and warm fuzzes in an erotic sense. Again, all this, at a so-called innocent age of 5.
Things got more intense at 9. I had a crush on a boy so much where I cried my heart out when he moved cities. Took me days to get over it. And this was the first time I felt depression. Also around that age frame (9-10), every time I would wrestle or get "touchy" with my male friends, I would feel strong pleasure down there. With my female friends, when we had "contact", I felt nothing. Funny thing is, I thought every boy probably felt like the way I did.
Despite all this, I was still very in denial and confused about my sexuality. Throughout my teen years, I adamantly thought that I liked girls. I was like to myself "meh, I'm just bi or in a phase" (the banality of homosexuals). I was 19 when I told myself to get over it and accept the fact that I am gay.
Since it's pretty much agreed we all know what we're attracted to from a young age, I think it's horrible that gay people fear being who they are. It's a horrible thing to know you're attracted to the same gender, but have homophobic relatives and remain closeted because of that and potential discrimination. No one should have to live like that. My friend's dad is gay and her parents split up when she was 14 or 15. Her dad bolted cross country and contemplated suicide because he couldn't hide it anymore. He obviously knew he was gay, but didn't come out until his mid-40s.
I've been thinking about your question and honestly, I don't think there was ever a time where I didn't know. I'm straight. I've always liked men. Society pushes us to be attracted to the opposite sex but I never felt that push because I was straight so it didn't affect me.
I feel terrible for those who struggle with their choice. With society pushing you one way, and your heart and mind pushing you in the opposite direction it must be so difficult. I can't even comprehend what that would be like and the emotional toll it would take on a person.
My son is gay. I have no idea what struggles he went through emotionally because he never talked about it and I really had no clue so I never asked. It wasn't until I finally realized that he was gay that I told him his dad and I loved him no matter what and that he's still the same person regardless of whom he chooses to love. He looked relieved so I think it was weighing on his mind. I think he was afraid of disappointing us in a way.
I've always been sort of bi, with more preference for guys.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
