Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Ive generally been pretty quiet since junior high, and by quiet I mean I have a somewhat soft/low volume voice. I can project loudly(and usually would at parties when I would drink) but I naturally use a "one on one" voice. I also don't partake in small talk or initiate it.
The things I have been told vary. Once at a party a guy asked me and my girlfriend to come into his room(it was his party) to smoke. He started asking questions to feel me out i guess and after a bit he said he was surprised because I was nice and positive. I asked what he meant and he said he thought i looked kinda shady because I was sitting there not being loud and when I did talk it was only loud enough that the person I was talking to could hear.
Another girl recently said I seemed disinterestd and standoffish/impatient when we met even though in my mind I was just shy and unsure of what to say but interested.
People think I am telling sectrets a lot because I am quiet(which usually makes the other person unconsciously mimic me which adds to it loking like secrets are being told) .
From another fellow quiet person, it's nice to hear that.
My last boyfriend broke it off because he was one of those blow hard over-talkers you speak of and I'm the introvert. Apparently my type of personality had no value to him and he didn't learn a single thing from me (when in reality, he could have learned A LOT).
I'm slowing learning to embrace being the quiet type. We're good listeners. And while we might not have boatloads of friends like the extroverts do, the few friends we do have are close because we actually have the skills to form deep friendships. We're also reflective which helps us grow into the best people we can be.
There are some nauances of being an introvert, it doesn't just mean you're not a talkive person, it can be, but other traits suchs as not needing a lot of people around you is one of the primary things.
I'm very introverted but in the right scenario I can be very outgoing and talkative when I want or need to be.
The problem is is that you will be a much more successful person in life if you're bubbly and outgoing and extroverted, it's just the plain ol truth and it sucks, but it's just the way the world works, the "fuel" of the world runs on BS and extroverts seem to have large tanks of it.
There are some nauances of being an introvert, it doesn't just mean you're not a talkive person, it can be, but other traits suchs as not needing a lot of people around you is one of the primary things.
I'm very introverted but in the right scenario I can be very outgoing and talkative when I want or need to be.
The problem is is that you will be a much more successful person in life if you're bubbly and outgoing and extroverted, it's just the plain ol truth and it sucks, but it's just the way the world works, the "fuel" of the world runs on BS and extroverts seem to have large tanks of it.
There are some nauances of being an introvert, it doesn't just mean you're not a talkive person, it can be, but other traits suchs as not needing a lot of people around you is one of the primary things.
I'm very introverted but in the right scenario I can be very outgoing and talkative when I want or need to be.
The problem is is that you will be a much more successful person in life if you're bubbly and outgoing and extroverted, it's just the plain ol truth and it sucks, but it's just the way the world works, the "fuel" of the world runs on BS and extroverts seem to have large tanks of it.
I can be very social when I'm with people who check off enough things and interests shared. But those are VERY unusual moments. My best place in the world is a con suite at a medium sized science fiction con about midnight on Saturday night, when everyone goes party hopping. These are MY kind of people. They share my vision of the world. They get my jokes. I've wished life could just freeze there for a while.
Conventional people who have conventional thoughts... and there really isn't an opening, I let them drift away. People who click in some one way I can love their company, but when you run out of that subject its kind of back to square one. Mostly social people leave me alone since they figure out that's what I want.
But being successful, what is success? If in order to be told you are doing things as you should you have to wear a mask, why even bother? If your personal values disagree then when you are allowed to be you, its success. If its having all the 'stuff' your supposed to, what if you only want the stuff that interests you and don't want the rest? You are a success or not based on your personal values not some measure of society.
There are some nauances of being an introvert, it doesn't just mean you're not a talkive person, it can be, but other traits suchs as not needing a lot of people around you is one of the primary things.
I'm very introverted but in the right scenario I can be very outgoing and talkative when I want or need to be.
The problem is is that you will be a much more successful person in life if you're bubbly and outgoing and extroverted, it's just the plain ol truth and it sucks, but it's just the way the world works, the "fuel" of the world runs on BS and extroverts seem to have large tanks of it.
An introvert is just a person who finds himself satisfying company.
As a quiet person, I could honestly care less what strangers thought of me. I am not hurting anyone by being myself and I will usually talk when the situation is very serious, like when I am at work, presenting something during class, or when a person speaks to me. If a person had a problem with me because I don't talk much well that's their issue not mine.
The problem is that we are often treated badly because others (extroverts) think we're treating THEM badly by not behaving "extroverted" around them. They take it as a personal affront, feel insulted and judged, label us snooty and mean, and strike back. If everyone "lived and let live," there would be no problem, but extroverts, especially, seem to insist that everyone be like they are: loud and obnoxious.
Most have assumed that I dislike them due to my silence. I find other quiet people the same, I can't tell if they just like to keep to themselves, have personal troubles, or are just jackasses who think they are above talking to me. Because of being around so many like me I have endeavored to change. I have started greeting people, using peoples names and smiling at them when they enter a room or glance at me. Because of that most of the quiet people have revealed themselves to be friendly as well, as they were just as unsure about me as I was about them. Others remain the same. More good then harm has come from being friendly and talkative then quiet. Just asking people "So how is it going" or saying "Good morning" can make them your ally.
The problem is that we are often treated badly because others (extroverts) think we're treating THEM badly by not behaving "extroverted" around them. They take it as a personal affront, feel insulted and judged, label us snooty and mean, and strike back. If everyone "lived and let live," there would be no problem, but extroverts, especially, seem to insist that everyone be like they are: loud and obnoxious.
Or else.
That's because extroverts are not satisfied by their own company as introverts can be.
That's because extroverts are not satisfied by their own company as introverts can be.
So true! Good point.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
