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I heard that bipolar comes with poor neck posture , and this can lead to physical pain , were they say straighten the neck and this will give the brain the oxygen and circulation in the blood that the brain needs? ........ So sit up straight and lose the bipolar symptoms
My Girlfriend has Bi-polar that she has had for years like back when she was 26 years old. She now 65 years old. Her own family has disowned her because of her Bi-polar.
Oh wow John Im so sorry...I didnt know you were dealing with this... I feel aweful for your girlfriend,its not her fault she has bipolorism....... (How cruel of her parents)
Im gonna say a prayer now........ God bless you for caring for her all these years John!!
Your friend is in her 40th year of having this disorder. You might, indeed, "help" her in the short term. But no way are you going to cure her. Professionals haven't. Her family hasn't. You aren't going to effect any kind of meaningful change.
Refusing to take medication is one of the most prevalent symptoms of the "manic" phase of bi-polar disorder. She will seem normal for awhile and then inevitably cycle up (and I do mean UP) until she crashes, then she will descend into the depressive phase.
Don't break up with her if you don't want to. She will probably break up with you when you refuse to cover her compulsive spending, or bail her out of jail, or pay her bills when she has a car accident or gets in physical altercation with someone. And don't believe anything she tells you about her family or her past (employment, relationships, etc.) She's not lying on purpose — she just doesn't see her own life experiences through normal eyes. It's just as likely she rejected others because they wouldn't participate in life as she wants to live it.
Many people who steal from their employers, are chronic no-shows, abuse their children, get in road rage incidents or bar fights, marry multiple times, have multiple bankruptcies, etc., etc., have bi-polar disorder. This disease wears out the people surrounding the sufferer faster than possibly any other psychiatric disorder. That's why people are telling you not to pursue this relationship.
If you continue to "help," don't say you weren't warned.
Her own sister doesn't want too help here. She is burned out. Who's going to help her? The Department of Health or the state? She will become a street person. She feels for other homeless people I have found.
We came acrossed a bad car accident on one of our travels and she jumped out of the car too run too the accident too help which was a real shocker for this woman being so mess up with bi-polar.
That is probably much of the appeal. The old "I'm the only one who understands her" routine. Also known as a "Jesus complex". She has also fastened herself to you on this basis, doubtless.
You can't "make" anyone take their medications, other than by the simple expedient of saying, "if we are going to have a relationship you are going to take your medications and pursue mental health standard-of-care in ways you never have before -- or we cannot have a relationship." That is your only shot at it.
You are, not to put too fine a point on it, too old for this s__t. Don't subject yourself to it. I'm 59 and I wouldn't touch it with a twenty foot pole. Maybe in part because my first wife put me through the wringer in my 20s with both schizophrenia and borderline personality disorder. And she wouldn't take her meds either.
As it is I am with a woman now with generalized anxiety disorder and the only way it works is that she knows how to not put her crap on me ... she owns it and deals with it and is constantly growing. On the other hand it sounds like you are getting involved with someone who is irresponsible and irrational in equal measure.
One of the hardest lessons I had to learn is that no matter how much you love someone, they are just s. out of luck if they won't help themselves. The best thing I ever did for my first wife was to abandon her to the natural consequences of her own intransigence. She ended up in a mental hospital for awhile, never had a relationship with her children, and is still so far as I know looped up on Thorazine in a managed work program somewhere. She wasn't capable of being a wife or a mother but she can clean offices just fine. She has found her own level of functioning in the world and my guess is that she is, if not exactly happy, at least less unhappy than she was with me.
So honestly -- run, don't walk, away from this situation unless she loves you enough to take care of herself and really work on herself. Her family may not be the demons she claims they are -- they probably tried and tried and finally just had to give up in self-defense. Don't assume they're unloving, uncaring fools.
Her family are not bad people. They just had too give up on her because of her not wanting too take care of herself. She really wants to get family back and for some reason in the past she wouldn't take her medicine till now. She doesn't like me much anymore because I'm making her take her medicine. Which she hates doing.
Interesting thread. My ex not only had bipolar but also OCD too. In his case he sometimes would take his meds and sometimes he wouldn't not too mention him changing his meds way too much before allowing them to actually work but there were other issues too such as the fact that he hang around others who also had bipolar but they wouldn't take their meds at all especially this one girl he was close too her name was "Julie". One minute she would be quoting the bible mentioning Jesus Christ and all that and the next she would say stuff so common and foul it probably wouldn't even fit inside an issue of Hustler magazine. All of us tried to help. His parents once took him on a family vacation to Nags Head, North Carolina. As they were driving through Virginia Beach Julie would call him on cell phone saying how she had just cut herself and had wanted to say good bye ( that was a lie as it turned out ) he jumped out of the car on Interstate 264 screaming "..Julie I will be joining you soon !!"..I want to die !!". He ended up in a mental hospital.
There were several times while we were together when he was in the hospital many of times. Unfortunately Julie would find out and she would check herself into the same hospital. After awhile of this sort of thing whenever he was in the hospital when she would try to check herself in the hospital would send her to another hospital in the region.
Oh I did my part in helping him. I even got him a job at a local radio station airing commercials and station promos during baseball games. For awhile he did a great job but unfortunately he would have issues such as when Julie would call up the radio station and he would miss breaks and such. What got him fired was when after being off his meds for a week he had went to a local bank. He was mad at something so he took his anger by punching a woman in the parking lot. A woman who he didn't know. She didn't pressed charges but the incident did make it to our local TV station. The bad press resulted in him being let go.
Anyway after 5 years of this between him constantly changing his meds, not taking his meds, the screaming fits, the stuff with Julie ( I had to change the phone numbers so many times but he would still call her and she would call him ) and oh yes Julie's parents screaming on the answering machine things like "..will you please leave us alone !!". I had to say goodbye. Last I heard he is finally doing better even buying a house recently. Julie unfortunately did end up killing herself some years back I was told.
Last edited by tantan1968; 04-27-2016 at 08:55 PM..
OP, it's nice that you want to help her. Unless you feel like God is calling you to play a large role in this woman's life, I'd suggest you point her in the direction of the appropriate authorities and then back off.
Would this lady friend of mine ever get put in a mental hospital for rest of her life? She been in lots of mental hospitals too make her take her medicine and staying for two weeks each time.
Would this lady friend of mine ever get put in a mental hospital for rest of her life? She been in lots of mental hospitals too make her take her medicine and staying for two weeks each time.
Only if she is evaluated as being a threat to herself or to others; then she would be under a 72 hour hold. No one can be forced to take medication, even in a lockdown facility. (The patient could be administered a sedative if h/she became violent, however.)
My Girlfriend has Bi-polar that she has had for years like back when she was 26 years old. She now 65 years old. Her own family has disowned her because of her Bi-polar. She lost her husband after 43 years of marriage and just went down hill with this medical problem. Been in many mental hospitals after her husband died. I think the world of her and trying to help her but having a hard time trying. She will not take her medicine. She hears voices and see things that are not there. Tried too kill herself four times. I wonder if there is any self help treatment out there? Thanks.
You're to be commended for standing by and supporting your g/f!
One of the biggest issues with some who suffer with bipolar is their refusal to do everything necessary to help themselves. I don't know your g/f; however, you wrote that she will not take her medication. The meds can produce terrible side effects and many patients will stop taking the meds. Some start to feel better while on the meds and think they no longer need medication.
I know a man with bipolar who expects the world to revolve around him; refuses to participate in his treatment and uses phony suicide attempts to emotionally blackmail family/friends. He is so narcissistic he would never harm himself.
Know a woman who is quite the opposite - takes her bipolar very seriously and taeks ownership of her ailment. She suffered for decades through many different meds and their adverse side effects without giving up. Now she is on the medicine that is perfect for her and has been functionally extremely well for several years.
I am not saying your g/f is either one. It's a difficult path for the patient and their loved ones.
If she is not willing to work on treatment and meds, I would think that her chances of becoming more stable are pretty low. I have depression and yes, it does take a lot of tinkering with meds as well as cognitive therapy to find the right balance. If she has given up on medical help (and then whatever personal factors one can control that help, as other posters have mentioned) that isn't a good sign.
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