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I was always super shy and while I am getting better at being more social and less anxious around people, I still have a pretty big fear of confrontation.
Meaning.. if someone else is CLEARLY in the wrong, I cannot defend myself or if needed, call them on it.
The most recent time was at work when a coworker tried to place blame for a mistake they made on me. I ended up stammering and my mind was racing so fast that I could not coherently defend myself.
Not to dwell on this, since it's just an example.. how do you get better at this? Do you just have to put yourself into situations where you are forced to do it? How can you DO that without turning into a jerk who picks fights with people? There really aren't that many times that I find myself needing to confront someone but it's just frustrating to not feel ready or able when it does happen.
I was the same way. Not only with confrontation, but with speaking with supervisors and management (when there wasn't even a problem). My eyes would well up and it felt like I would cry. I would stammer and forget words, it was just bad. I don't want to say practice will make it better, because it makes it sound like you want to force yourself into compromising situations "just for the practice". I am not sure how old you are, but it just took age and took years of customer service (people yelling at me) to develop thicker skin. That helped me speak up to management and people in the wrong/defending myself.
I was always super shy and while I am getting better at being more social and less anxious around people, I still have a pretty big fear of confrontation.
Meaning.. if someone else is CLEARLY in the wrong, I cannot defend myself or if needed, call them on it.
What you need is Assertiveness Training.
Look in your area for groups or one-on-one therapy to help you.
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