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Old 05-04-2016, 02:30 PM
 
Location: United States
953 posts, read 839,988 times
Reputation: 2832

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chaffeetrekker View Post
I would persue a career in Hi Tech.....specialize in writing code....Make gobs of money....after a few million in the bank, the hotties come to you if the word gets out that you are generous.....
And they'll gladly take gobs of that money, lavishly indulge themselves and leave you right back at square one.

Your issues are very significant and socially paralyzing. Please seek appropriate help in the near future from a caring professional so that someday you can fully participate in a world where half the population is not closed off to you as it presently is.
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Old 05-04-2016, 05:30 PM
 
31,754 posts, read 26,706,619 times
Reputation: 24631
Quote:
Originally Posted by JacksonBradu View Post
I'm a 20 something year old male and am afraid of women

Here's how I do things

- I never frequent establishments where I know women will be present (cafes, malls, movie theatres, etc)

- Never go to clubs or parties

- Never commute to college during prime hours. Only in the evening, early morning or weekends

- One of the reasons I take online classes is to avoid women

- I never make eye contact with them, stick to looking at the ground

- I avoid them whenever possible. When I see a girl or a group of girls, I get out of dodge to the best of my ability

- I never apply for job positions where I know I'll be interacting with lots of women. If I do have to work with women, I avoid them and only speak to them briefly when I have to

- I wear hoodies so women can't see my face


I was made fun of and mocked by women relentlessly growing up. I am ugly, ethnic, short and scrawny. I have no self confidence as a young adult and I'm very socially awkward. This is where the fear of women comes from

For a full time career, I plan on working with computers so not a lot of physical interaction

Pathological fear of women... Yeah Raj has that problem.... *LOL*



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvxISfqwZi4





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAhkifqwZ3k





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zlnAWNz3cU
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Old 05-04-2016, 08:11 PM
 
2,508 posts, read 2,167,921 times
Reputation: 5426
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
BTW, pretty women poo and pee just like you and me and they have gas, too!
Hilarious! This reminds me: as a teen, I dated a girl who farted in my presence (accidentally). It was funny, and a great reminder that even though guys put women up on pedestals in many cases, they're human just like everyone else.
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Old 05-04-2016, 08:11 PM
 
30,907 posts, read 32,923,411 times
Reputation: 26919
OP, I am so sad for you. I'll bet you have a lot to offer. Find a great therapist. Start talking all this out. And YES, start meeting women - and do start with women you WON'T be asking out. Sort of "exposure therapy." Little by little, you'll learn how to talk to women.

We are really just people.

Hang in there and believe in yourself...not in the lies you were told as a boy.
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Old 05-04-2016, 08:48 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
30,585 posts, read 25,041,229 times
Reputation: 50796
To the OP:

You posted this, so I suppose you want advice? Find a therapist or a counselor to help you with this social phobia.

I also like the idea of hanging with older, non threatening ladies first.

Stop looking away all the time because that marks you as scary or odd. Practice looking straight ahead. If a woman comes into view, nod. Later, after you have mastered nodding, add a smile. For Pete's sake, get the hood off your face so you don't look like a shady character.

Find a therapist though. You need to work on this.
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Old 05-04-2016, 08:54 PM
Status: "Save the people of Gaza" (set 28 days ago)
 
Location: St. Louis Park, MN
7,728 posts, read 6,409,840 times
Reputation: 10387
Quote:
Originally Posted by Julian658 View Post
Maybe you are gay.
Maybe he is, but that doesn't explain anything LOL I'm gay and most of my friends are probably women.
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Old 05-04-2016, 09:38 PM
 
283 posts, read 326,568 times
Reputation: 388
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
OK? Good luck with that?
This is the psychology forum, bud. People vent here.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CapnTrips View Post
Absolutely right.
OP -- do you have any counseling resources through your school? This is more than just a dating issue, it will affect your entire life and you should think about getting some ongoing, face-to-face personal support.


What if you go for your first real job interview and its an attractive woman asking the questions?
I actually had a situation like that once. Got the job and a large portion of my coworkers and the customers I dealt with were women. Worst job I've ever had.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicci6Squirrels View Post
What do you think is going to happen? As an adult, you know that it's highly unlikely that an attractive woman is going to say anything disparaging to you while you're walking through the streets, right? This is an irrational fear and could probably be dealt with through therapy. It's not feasible or realistic to go through life avoiding women, so in order to have a good life, you need to get rid of your fear.
Many women in their late teens to mid 20's are still just as rude and petty as middle school aged girls

I'm afraid of girls talking down to me (i'm a short uggo so it happens a lot), rolling their eyes at me, mean mugging me, accusing me of checking them out for even looking in their direction, going out of their way to avoid me (which is like a rejection in itself), etc. And so on and so forth.

Quote:
Originally Posted by highlanderfil View Post
Troll?
There are many people just like myself who exist.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bjimmy24 View Post
Not saying this to be disparaging, but you HAVE TO address this. You cannot be afraid of 50% of the world population.

Please take some steps immediately to address this.
I'm not scared or intimidated by avg/below avg looking women. Only the attractive ones so it's more like 20-25 pct of the population if anything.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Julian658 View Post
Maybe you are gay.
No.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
Why don't you want women to see your face? Maybe you should wear a mask at all times? The hoodie seems a little awkward.
Because I'm a hideous ethnic freak. Have been rocking hoodies regularly for this reason since I was in like 10th grade.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bus man View Post
Maybe, it it seems unlikely. If he were gay, he would be indifferent to women, not afraid of them.
Correct.
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Old 05-04-2016, 09:39 PM
 
Location: Anchorage
836 posts, read 1,774,786 times
Reputation: 887
Hey, do you want a pen pal? Think that may help to get you started? (not fearing women any more)


I am a woman, and can very well understand a lot of what you are going through! Though, I've been told to be very attractive... but do have my own issues and had fought a lot of my own demons back in the day. Also, I am not looking for any romantic relationship - perhaps, that fact would be helpful, as well, so as not to have any pressure/tension while chatting. No expectations.


Also, you need to find some ways to raise your self-esteem. What helped me was photography/modeling, not sure how that works for guys. Maybe some at-home workout routine just to get you feel that "you can", without being paralyzed by the fact of others looking at you. Then gradual venturing out to join hiking groups, for example, etc. Place to get your confidence up and tolerance for being around a few women... that are friendly and don't taunt you. One thing for sure - being short/scrawny is NOT necessarily a turn-off!
Some women would look for a type like that, those that are tired of or naturally dislike macho types and would perceive you as sensitive and sweet... which is WAY for important, than good-looking!

Some women actually into shy guys!
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Old 05-04-2016, 09:56 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
28,226 posts, read 36,784,942 times
Reputation: 28561
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chaffeetrekker View Post
I would persue a career in Hi Tech.....specialize in writing code....Make gobs of money....after a few million in the bank, the hotties are easy to come by if the word gets out that you are generous.....even if you have a personality like a wet mop...your appearance doesn't matter either.......hot women's erogenous zone is your busy wallet.....
So many people overstate the likelihood of getting "rich" in tech. FYI most people don't. You have to luck into the right company at the right moment.
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Old 05-04-2016, 11:11 PM
 
Location: Ohio
1,884 posts, read 994,647 times
Reputation: 2869
Exposure is your cure. Go two hours to the next town, walk the sidewalk, and sheepishly say hi. Cringe, blush, feel like a failure, repeat. Next time you'll cringe less. Keep stepping it up. Say, how's it going? Then maybe she might say something back. Then fail at the conversation, cringe, blush, feel like a failure, and move on to the next conversation. See a pattern?

Dude, I cannot BEGIN to describe the feeling of freedom you will have when you make progress with this. It'll feel like you're on top of the world. You just can't see it right now. But you will.

And let me tell you something. There are plenty of gorgeous women who look in the mirror, and are absolutely disgusted by what they see. And they're afraid to talk to even moderately attractive guys. Plenty of attractive guys that have the same problem as you. I'm one of them. I know I'm attractive. Attractive manly face, six pack and all. Yet I'm still deathly shy. Plenty of ugly men and women, too. Believe it or not, some of those genuinely ugly people have a million times more confidence than you and I.

It's no big deal. We're all human. Try and relate to them.
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