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I'll tell you all a secret. My wife has wanted a diamond tennis bracelet for years. Those go for... oh, roughly $8-10k. So far, I've refused to get her one.
At my home, I've always worked during the week, and during the weekends I would mow the lawn, take care of the pool, take care of car maintenance, various projects around the house, the usual.
My mother, when I was growing up, was a SAHM. She was the one mowing the lawn, taking care of the pool, etc, while raising me. My dad was in sales so he was gone traveling a lot. To this day, my mother will mow the lawn sometimes, and she's in her 70's.
My wife is a SAHM, but she has never done anything around the house, except clean, and that of course isn't every day. I told myself that if she ever got out and mowed the lawn or took care of the landscaping without me having to do it, or having to pay someone, that I would buy her that bracelet.
4 years after saying that, I'm still waiting.
You know this is passive aggressive behavior, right?
I think you should have a non hostile discussion about your resentment. (I have heard this sort of thing from husbands who have non working wives before. They resent the "free time" their wives have. Sometimes they resent this even when mom is managing kids as well as staying home.) You think your wife is not pulling her weight in the marriage. What would you like her to do? Work harder? Get a job? Then ask yourself why that is what you want her to do.
I do think you need to do some work on your marriage. Your passive aggression and hostility isn't doing your marriage any good. You two need to work on your relationship and your expectations.
I think that only an insecure pansy would feel intimidated by a woman he (or she) couldn't dominate and visa versa. I feel that the people in a relationship are part of a team, and each makes contributions of equal value and is valued equally. I wouldn't be able to tolerate a man who either 1) let me walk all over him or 2) wasn't okay with me having freedom. My husband would not have dated me if I weren't financially secure, employed, and educated. He would not have agreed to support someone who just lazily stayed home cooking and cleaning like a free maid. My mother had 5 kids, went to work, kept house, cooked, and ran errands. My step dad worked a lot, so we kids were who pitched in around the house. There's no excuse for women who are just kept. In fact, they do themselves a disservice by placing themselves into these roles. Unless they're retired, they are less interesting, less educated, less free, and more depressed. I don't ever want to have to rely upon anyone else for money. I make my own, and I spend it how I want to. At least go out and volunteer or work from home. He opens doors for me, and I open doors for him. Husband and I pitch in equally toward our household responsibilities, so neither one of us wears the dress in the relationship.
I'll tell you all a secret. My wife has wanted a diamond tennis bracelet for years. Those go for... oh, roughly $8-10k. So far, I've refused to get her one.
At my home, I've always worked during the week, and during the weekends I would mow the lawn, take care of the pool, take care of car maintenance, various projects around the house, the usual.
My mother, when I was growing up, was a SAHM. She was the one mowing the lawn, taking care of the pool, etc, while raising me. My dad was in sales so he was gone traveling a lot. To this day, my mother will mow the lawn sometimes, and she's in her 70's.
My wife is a SAHM, but she has never done anything around the house, except clean, and that of course isn't every day. I told myself that if she ever got out and mowed the lawn or took care of the landscaping without me having to do it, or having to pay someone, that I would buy her that bracelet.
4 years after saying that, I'm still waiting.
If this is a strong desire, I've seen tennis bracelets for $1K plus....8-10K can't imagine. Something I've never had a desire for...too practical...
I got rid of all my gold jewelry a few yrs ago ago when gold prices were high, as I needed the money more than I needed the gold.... I kept 2 pair of gold earrings that I hardly ever wear.
I can do a lot of things a man can do- construction, landscaping, raising animals and crops, breaking and training horses. I'm also an ICU nurse. I like to cook and keep an orderly house and wear dresses and perfume. I enjoy cooking for my husband and watching him eat, it makes me happy. Usually I fix dinner and he cooks breakfast and makes the coffee. And no I do not want to wear the pants. My mother told me A hen will not mate with a rooster she can peck. Its true, they won't. I am honored to take his last name too, not a hyphenated name. We discuss things, decide on things together, but I still like the man/woman thing and the cowboy chivalry. I admire the strength of men, I like the way it feels, it makes me feel secure and cozy. Yes women can be scientists, run companies, fly fighter planes, even drive the Space Shuttle. Women are liberated but that doesn't mean we need to act like men. Vive la difference!
I'll tell you all a secret. My wife has wanted a diamond tennis bracelet for years. Those go for... oh, roughly $8-10k. So far, I've refused to get her one.
At my home, I've always worked during the week, and during the weekends I would mow the lawn, take care of the pool, take care of car maintenance, various projects around the house, the usual.
My mother, when I was growing up, was a SAHM. She was the one mowing the lawn, taking care of the pool, etc, while raising me. My dad was in sales so he was gone traveling a lot. To this day, my mother will mow the lawn sometimes, and she's in her 70's.
My wife is a SAHM, but she has never done anything around the house, except clean, and that of course isn't every day. I told myself that if she ever got out and mowed the lawn or took care of the landscaping without me having to do it, or having to pay someone, that I would buy her that bracelet.
4 years after saying that, I'm still waiting.
Fascinating. I wonder where this desire for an expensive bauble like that comes from. Her peers? Magazines? Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous?
I dunno, but you can pry my Tripp pants outta my cold dead hands.
Thank goodness I found a man who was not terrified by my bifurcated leg-garments, and occasional acts of appliance repair.
Though if we're being completely fair here, if I did need to "chase away" a man, I could certainly do so more effectively while wearing pants, than, say, a long skirt. Especially if there were stairs involved. I've nearly broken my damn neck trying to climb stairs in a skirt.
People revive the strangest threads...
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Strong Women
