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My worries are getting into a decent career that I actually enjoy. It's been difficult deciding what I want to go for in college. My passion is art, but my family doesn't support my desire to do that and keep telling me it's a fool's bet. So I'm taking the secure path of psychology and hoping I can find something in that field. I am planning to pursue my art career in the future though. My main concern is not being competent and confident that I can do a good job when I start working a REAL career.
I think most of my fears are pretty much the same as everyone else's. Death, losing a family member/close friend, being unhappy for the rest of my life, failure, losing my mind, aging, the state of the world etc. etc. As far as dating and relationships, I try not to think about it that much honestly. Sometimes I worry I won't be able to find the man I want or getting hurt. But the possibility of a relationship is so low it's not worth thinking about, much less worry about.
There's been some threads about how hard guys have it on the dating scene and life in general. Women have all the power and special privilege and all that. I'm a father and I have 2 daughters both in their late 20s. Both mothers, one happily married and the other a single mother. I'm the well worn shoulder to cry on for them on a regular basis and if there's one thing I've learned ladies have a huge weight on their shoulders, just as much if not more than men.
They worry about everything form their hair to the future of my grandchildren. They strive like men do just in a different way, with a different set of priorities. A child is an incredible burden, attached to the mother literally for years. Even if a child has a father there's a bond between mothers and children men cannot duplicate. Women do the things they do for reasons be they good or bad for everyone involved. Some people are stupid regardless of sex, all people make mistakes and sometimes things don't work out as was planned.
So anyway ladies tell us guys what you fear in life, what worries you daily?
At the age of 52 I can tell everyone with certainty that it's never too late to stop learning and I sure as hell don't know everything and there's a lot of young guys out there need to know stuff like this.
Thanks for creatining this thread. I guess it might take being a father of 2 women to get to this understanding.
Where can I start lol.
I don't know how it is for all women of course, but I honestly feel like in so many ways women are just expected to shut up and take what ever drama the world puts in front of them and roll with it.
The expectations of being the perfect wife, mother and employee/ professional all at the same time are scary. When you have to juggle all 3 roles with no mercy from the world ex being judged by all 3 criteria it is stressful. Most of the time I am scared I am screwing everything up because I can't be perfect at any of these roles. Also learning what is perfect is not really well defined also throws a wretching in to the situation.
Even if you are married 90% of the time automatically everything that goes wrong with your household or child is assumed to be your fault.
On top of all that you are indirectly still made to feel that you need to continue to aspire to be a beauty queen ( which is a whole other level of tourture).
You are always expected to put everyone else's need's first and heave forbid you actually choose to do stuff for yourself you often have people throwing that bad mother/ bad wife card at you.
I almost feel like once upon a time I use to be a person.... now everywhere I turn everyone is expecting something from me.
Too much pressure to be everything all at once.
Last year I really started wondering what life was like for men around my own age so I started asking questions... not really sure I get it yet... but still finding it intersting to know other people stories.
Sexual assault, rape, etc are very real fears for women.
Okay... maybe when I was a teen and in my early 20s... but as an adult female not so much for me anyways. I walk around my city day and night alone and never have any issues.
My worries are getting into a decent career that I actually enjoy. It's been difficult deciding what I want to go for in college. My passion is art, but my family doesn't support my desire to do that and keep telling me it's a fool's bet. So I'm taking the secure path of psychology and hoping I can find something in that field. I am planning to pursue my art career in the future though. My main concern is not being competent and confident that I can do a good job when I start working a REAL career.
Have you researched Art Therapy as a career or educational direction at all? It might be a enough of a combination to work for you.
Have you researched Art Therapy as a career or educational direction at all? It might be a enough of a combination to work for you.
I've considered it but teaching or going into therapeutic field is not what I want to do with art anyway. I know I'd want my art to be seen by millions through a video game, animated show, or book.
My plan right now is to just go along and see where life takes me.
During my time as a spouse, the constant worry about news, war, deployments, .... were really tough for me.
Probably, were my spouse deployed. It would fall under the first fear I listed, though.
All his deployments occurred before we met.
I worry about him traveling, but that's about it. Honestly, I worry more about domestic crazies shooting up military facilities than I do deployment. But I don't worry about that much, either, I just recognize that it's happened and will likely happen again.
My worries are getting into a decent career that I actually enjoy. It's been difficult deciding what I want to go for in college. My passion is art, but my family doesn't support my desire to do that and keep telling me it's a fool's bet. So I'm taking the secure path of psychology and hoping I can find something in that field. I am planning to pursue my art career in the future though. My main concern is not being competent and confident that I can do a good job when I start working a REAL career.
I think most of my fears are pretty much the same as everyone else's. Death, losing a family member/close friend, being unhappy for the rest of my life, failure, losing my mind, aging, the state of the world etc. etc. As far as dating and relationships, I try not to think about it that much honestly. Sometimes I worry I won't be able to find the man I want or getting hurt. But the possibility of a relationship is so low it's not worth thinking about, much less worry about.
Art is a "real" career for thousands of people, so why not you? The life you create for yourself is your greatest masterpiece, so go after your dreams.
I don't think that's what people have in mind when they think about gender adv/disadv within dating and relationship.
Unlike yourself, I do not speak for all people, I speak for myself. I was replying to a post which proclaimed that women have the edge in dating, I provided my point of view. Thanks for giving me the perspective of all people, compliments of usayit.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikelee81
You equivocate men having the upper hand to rape? Wow.. Somehow I don't think that's accurate. You paint a picture of the majority of men being creeps and abusive.
I am comparing how men will always have the upper hand in the dating world, because someone claimed that women have the upper hand. Whether you think it's accurate or not matters not a bit to me. You are not in a position to share your experiences with how many men are creeps or abusive, unless you happen to be on the receiving end. Do creeps often hit on you? Do random strangers harass you for walking your dog in a park, do they put their hands on your genitals and caress, pinch, grab them, do strange men come up to you on the street to ask you if your boobs are real, has a chaperone kidnapped you and expect you to sleep with them and their friends? Are you stalked, cyber stalked, have you had to request and been granted multiple restraining orders? Because all of that and more, much more, is my reality.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
Even if it is a fraction of 1%, which it probably is, its a potential everyday reality. An incredible number of women have been sexually assaulted as a child or an adult. It's shocking, really.
Yes, I was already ogled, inappropriately approached, touched, and exploited as a young girl, from the age of 11 and up. That fraction of 1% seems like a low number, or I must be on a lot of their radars.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just A Guy
Sexual assault, rape, etc are very real fears for women.
Indeed they are - and my first post was in response to another male poster's comment about women having the edge in dating. My fear of sexual assault is like a pot simmering on the back burner. It isn't in the foreground of my fears but my spider senses are always tingling in the background to avoid potential dangerous situations. Any time I step out of the house.
Quote:
Originally Posted by klmrocks
Okay... maybe when I was a teen and in my early 20s... but as an adult female not so much for me anyways. I walk around my city day and night alone and never have any issues.
I'm glad that you live in a place where you feel safe to go about your business without issues. Just as my situation is anecdotal, so is yours. I have traveled and lived in different countries and continents and various cities/towns, and I have been manhandled and inappropriately approached everywhere. It is not age related, I am no spring chicken. Women in their 80s are also targets for sexual assault. I don't know why people believe that a rapist is only interested in pretty young girls - they are looking for subjects that their circumstances make available to victimize.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Mod cut: Orphaned (quoted post has been deleted).
I can understand where women fear of being harmed sexually or physically by a guy. My mother has been recently divorced and her husband had been very resistant against the divorce. It is only this fact that brought it home what women can feel sometimes in regards to being safe. I feared for her safety since I'm a good 11 hours from her where she lives in Indiana. If I'm that worried about her safety, imagine what the hell she is feeling.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 07-23-2016 at 12:07 AM..
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