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Start by focusing on the social anxiety, not the girlfriend. Therapy would be good, but you could also start by looking around to see if there are any local support groups. Also, I'm guessing there are tons of books out on the subject.
And don't let anyone tell you that you need medication. You want to work through the problem, not mask it with drugs.
Have you ever thought about whether the anxiety might be in part because you feel you don't know what to say? That's something you can easily work on.
If the main reason is social anxiety, then do something about that. I don't know how your social anxiety affects you, but maybe it's a good idea to do some research about yourself and get help from a psychologist or therapist when you think that you need that. It's not about having no girlfriend, but the reason behind it, but I guess you already knew that. What holds you back from getting the help you need? Do you also have a lack of self respect?
OP: don't let anyone shame you for not having a serious/sexual relationship yet. It sounds like you have some anxiety problems; as others have said, don't be afraid to get some professional help with that first.
Counseling could very well be beneficial. We don't have all the details and obviously don't know you. There are steps you can take to overcome social anxiety before seeking counseling or simultaneously while undergoing counseling.
May I suggest that you can mitigate your stress by consciously diverting your attention from your "social anxiety." Please understand that everyone has at some point dealt with social anxiety, and most naturally overcome it. The best way to naturally overcome it is to socialize - practice makes perfect. Socialize does not necessarily mean participating in social type activities like dating, party's or clubbing. I'm talking about group interaction.
If you don't have, you should find for yourself areas of interest - the possibilities are nearly endless - but hopefully your interests will be mentally and physically healthy. Let's say you like stamp collecting. There are organizations like APS that have chapters all over the U.S. and in addition there are many independent clubs and groups. There are stamp fairs and exhibitions. My advice is attend as much as possible, become involved as much possible to find a group you are comfortable with. It should be second nature for anyone to interact and talk with people about a subject that interests them. Some of those people will be men and some will be women - you don't care other than just having an opportunity to improve your social skills and practice expressing yourself about a subject you are interested in. Trust me, one thing will lead to another. Forget about the past - look to the present and the future!
If this doesn't work or you can't find a way to make this work then you must seek counseling. And, I should point out that there are in most larger communities public health services which are free. Please don't delay another day, take action now - you are missing out by not fully living life. You have made a start by posting to this forum - each day, do a little more. You definitely can overcome your social anxiety.
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