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Old 09-07-2016, 12:55 PM
 
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Somehow I've never felt an affinity for any country in particular, not even the US. In contrast I've met people for whom being an American is a prominent part of their identity. They feel strongly connected to the history of this country and feel a sense of rootedness that for them goes back generations. They have a real sense of nationalism, a feeling of a blood tie to the soil and to the precepts and themes established by the founding fathers. Being American feels as important to them as their gender identity, their choice of religion, even their identification with their ethnicity or race. Me, I've only ever experienced "American" as a political term, not as a part of my nature. I love some of the people, I appreciate the variety of culture, food, entertainment. I especially appreciate at least the lip service to the ideals of democracy, liberty, and equality of opportunity. Plus I really love the natural environment. This is a very beautiful land imo. But I've never understood the deep connection to the idea of America that some others seem to have. Sometimes I wonder what that feels like.
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Old 09-07-2016, 01:05 PM
 
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You don't feel it in a definable way but if you left the U.S. you probably would. (Unless I'm mistaken and you've already had that experience.)

We don't realize how much our culture influences us until we're not surrounded by it for a time. And because "American" usually brings to mind individuality and a melting pot, we don't really believe there could be one generalized feeling about being American...but again, leave the locale and you might be surprised how certain things stand out and how people can peg you as American within about two seconds, no matter what you're wearing, no matter what luggage you're carrying, no matter what you say or if you don't say anything at all.

To answer your question, I don't "feel American" day to day, no, not in some conscious way. But I'm sure it's in there. I've always lived here. I am a product of my environment as much as anybody else is.
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Old 09-07-2016, 03:21 PM
 
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No big deal, but it might have something to do with your age, your ancestry, your knowledge of history, and whether you've traveled much to other countries.
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Old 09-07-2016, 03:48 PM
 
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I think I was raised in a pretty patriotic way to begin with, and as an adult I'm a bit of a history buff, so that might factor into my consciousness of being American. But the first time I really noticed myself thinking of myself as American and what that mean was when interacting with a friend/colleague in my 20s (back in the 1990s) who came from another country. She had grown up in the Soviet Union, and we were first sharing memories and experiences form childhood that were different, but then we got into basic ideas and values that we grew up with, which were different. I remember her saying "you are soooo American" in a way that said she envied how I felt, and she hoped to achieve it with living here longer and having become a citizen.


I remember some of the ideas we differed on were:
--Questioning authorities--I was taught to use critical thinking with what was on TV, what was in the newspaper, to question what government or other authorities like school officials decided. It was not about being rebellious (I was taught to be obedient and respectful) but about having the right to question. She was taught to accept what info she was given, even if was partial information and even if it felt very questionable.


--I was raised with the idea that we are all different, we all have different things we're good at and not good at, things we like and dislike, etc. That idea is something to be proud of. She was raised with the emphasis on sameness, and differences like that, though acknowledged, were not really to be pointed out or talked about. It was almost distasteful to her for a child to say out loud what makes him different from other kids.


--This one is hard to explain, but I had the idea that if I was ever "deprived" of something I really longed for, because maybe we were too poor to afford it, if I finally got it, I valued it immensely. It would not be about showing off, but about valuing the item and taking good care of it. My example was my first pair of designer jeans in junior high. I took very good care of them because it took long to get them and I was grateful for them. She had deprivation when she was younger, but it was more of an "institutional" deprivation: if she lacked something, most people she knew also lacked it. Then if she finally got it, she was supposed to treat it like it was worthless, like it didn't matter. To act grateful would mean it was more important than it was supposed to be. It was not clear if this was supposed to be a rejection of materialism, but the "gratitude" thing had not been drilled into her like it was with me. She used to hate other people in our city who also came to the US from the former USSR who were excessively materialistic, in a very show-off, bling-bling, kind of way. But what she had in common with them is that the longed-for object was not important or valued (she would have crumbled up the expensive jeans and thrown them on the floor).


--I was raised with the idea that anyone can grow up to be rich, anyone can grow up to be President. It didn't matter who your parents were or what social class you were born in. While of course I knew about snobbery, the snobbery I knew was more about what you had NOW, how much money you had now, how popular you were now, not what you were born into. My friend, and others we knew who were from Europe (one from Germany, one from UK) still had a stricter idea of social class as a fixed thing. She was surprised when I told her that a very popular kid in high school could have had parents that were dirtbags. She was surprised that president Clinton had been raised pretty much as "trailer trash." My friend was a graduate student in a prestigious university, and she would not think to start a conversation with the janitor in our office. She wasn't necessarily snobby; it just didn't occur to her.


--Valuing privacy: giving privacy to everyone, even family members. I had the idea that as a "default" I would honor someone's privacy, while she had been raised to believe that it was not a big deal. We didn't know if that was so much an American/Soviet difference, or just a difference in our families of origin.


--The default we tend to have when a group decision has to be made is "take a vote." I remember something had come up at work and I said in an offhand way "we should just vote on it." That's when she said she envied that I was "so American" and that I just thought that way without effort.




Again, this was just the product of two 20-something women from different countries who knew each other in the 90s. But it was after that that I became more aware on a regular basis of my "Americanness." That default ideas I took for granted as universal were not really universal.
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Old 09-07-2016, 08:46 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
30,585 posts, read 25,012,275 times
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I enjoyed Tracy Sam's post!

I've always identified with being American. Always. Ever since I knew that I was an American. I can't imagine becoming the citizen of another country, because I value being an American so highly. I do not like excessive displays of patriotism. I do not see the reason for playing and/or singing the National Anthem at any event that is not inherently patriotic. I don't fly the flag. I do think our country has done awful things in the past, and that we have a hard time facing them as a country.

However, I am American to my core. I could never regard myself in any other way.
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Old 09-07-2016, 11:12 PM
 
Location: Middle America
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I have a fairly large attachment, identity-wise, to the region from which I hail, but none to an overall "American" identity, partially because I don't find there to be any one, overriding typically "American" identity. An American from a Nebraska farm doesn't necessarily have much in common, identity-wise, with an American from NYC.

Most of the purported "American" stereotypes, I don't particularly identify with. I'm undeniably American; my paternal line actually has been traced back to the Massachusetts Bay Company. I qualify for the DAR, based on documented heritage, not that I've ever become a member. I have a good sense of country and service; I'm a military spouse of an Iraq war veteran and current U.S. Navy SCPO. It's not an issue of not claiming my country; I just feel that what "an American" is is too broad and diverse to be a very useful descriptor.
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Old 09-08-2016, 08:04 AM
 
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I get what you are saying. For me, I feel like if I was able to travel to different states more and to see what our country is made of beyond the environment i grew up in and am still stuck in today, that would really help make me feel better....i would feel more cultural in a sense?
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Old 09-08-2016, 10:42 AM
 
Location: Raleigh
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I lived in Turkey for 2 1/2 years. I feel very much American!
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Old 09-08-2016, 12:47 PM
 
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I 'feel' Welsh, Canadian and American. I now 'understand' better as an adult the differences, similarities, rights and privileges, cultural nuances, etc. and how they emerged and are sustained or destroyed over time. I have a great 'allegiance' to all those countries/places in one way or another. I will 'wave the flag' in and for each of those countries and appreciate all of them equally (though I am still a 'thinking individual' and should a country go horribly awry I may not always feel this way, no matter what).


Welsh because my father was Welsh (I was born in England but my parents left there when I was a baby so I don't identify really with being English - but I am 'British'). I was raised, even when I was in Canada and the US, to think like he did to a great degree - though some of his thinking was also a product of his times as much as his country of origin. But, he and his Welsh attitudes rubbed off on me even though I really never lived there.


Canadian because it was the country in which I was raised - from the time I was a year and a half old. I thought for most of my life that I was Canadian (didn't even know I wasn't till I wanted a passport at age 22 and found out I was still British). I didn't know I was also American till I was in my mid-40s (my American mother registered me as an American born abroad at birth and never mentioned that to me). I grew up 'thinking' like a Canadian, understanding the traditions that made Canadians unique (or the same) as other people in other countries - but also thinking I was not 'that' different from Americans in general. As an adult (though I am still not sure if it was because of changes in one or both countries) I realized how different (at least today) we are as peoples, how differently we think, what different allegiances we may all have based on where and how we were raised, and our unique histories as countries, and not just because we have a different political structure.


American because it was the country from which my maternal relatives came (my brother was born in NYC and though he was raised till the end of high school in Canada, he is now American through and through) - and I was a part of that American 'family' as much as I was my own (what I viewed as Canadian) environment. Most of the relatives I saw often were American - and at times I even went to their American schools when we visited for longer periods. I too qualify for the DAR (not a member) and am descended from 2 men who came to America on the Mayflower (I often wondered if that makes me a Mayflower 'madam' too).


We often visited the US when I was a child. I didn't feel that much different from any American kid back then - though it was fun to teach them that there actually was a country north of the end of the weather map. But, when I moved to the States in my late 40s, I felt SO different from just about everyone around me. It probably took a good 10 years before I 'got' the mentality and began to actually think like an American (no, not all Americans think the same way - but there is a general difference in 'how' one perceives the world depending I think on where one has spent one's formative years). I can't tell you how many times in those first few years some Americans told me to 'go home' .. that I didn't belong in the US .. that I would never understand or be American. I must have sounded very Canadian!


These days though, after having experienced American culture and institutions, etc. for many years, I feel I can relate reasonably well to the idea of what it means to be an American and I will often defend that. I also feel the same way about Canada. Doesn't matter what country (of the 3) I am in - if I 'understand' the way the majority of people think (and I do make a real effort to do that - and to try to understand the thinking of different age groups as well) - I 'feel' American, I 'feel' Canadian, and I 'feel' Welsh (but still not English for some reason). I obey the laws of each country when I am in that country. I respect the traditions of each and I do my best to be a good citizen of all these countries. I keep abreast of the changes in each society, the news, the political happenings in all these countries.


Some of my connection to each country is probably the result of generational thinking, some just 'exposure'/experience, some was acquired through research and dedication to active observation/interaction with people in the countries I am speaking of, some of it is perhaps just 'me'. And perhaps even more of it is just 'acting like a Roman when in Rome' - not to mention 'faking it till you make it' maybe. Not sure. Luckily however, to date, my allegiance to all 3 hasn't been severely tested by any outright war between them. Not sure where I would go in that case but as I said I respect the laws in all three places and if I were in the US and young enough to join the forces during a time of war, I would do so. Just as I would in Canada.


The US flag often is waved year round but that doesn't mean that all Americans are incredibly patriotic (and depending on the generation being discussed, one might say many are now less so than many Canadians are). The Canadian flag often is only waved once a year, on July 1st, but that doesn't mean that, when push comes to shove, Canadians will not stand up for Canada. Most will and have/do - but again I suspect that is changing with the newer generations unfortunately. I do remember as a young adult feeling really strange (almost embarrassed) when in the US because I didn't understand what seemed like overly intense nationalism on the part of Americans back then - but which I am not sure really exists now that the population has become so 'diverse' and society has changed so much with families having to concentrate more on making it day to day in much more materialistic societies than ever before - something that has actually diluted Canadian patriotism too (though it was never so evident anyway). My connection to the Welsh flag is perhaps a bit more tenuous (I have one and wave it a lot on March 1st every year - St. David's Day) - but I have a lot of pride in the Welsh and their efforts to ensure their language and culture remains unique and strong.


If one knows the history (the real history as much as we can tell from original documents) of a country, one can begin to understand the roots of 'nationalistic' attitudes. If one has lived long enough and travelled enough and been exposed long enough to other countries and the way their peoples think ... I believe one can get a really good sense of the common history and culture that binds the people of that country, even if as individuals they are not really 'aware' of that, and may not really understand what it means to be a citizen of x, or y, or z in the legal sense.


I think that many today are not learning the history of their country or not learning the correct history and are influenced by modern societal pressures and interests more than ever before - (or they are very new to their current country) so they may not 'feel' as connected. I am not sure that 'disconnection from country' is not being 'engineered' by TPTB (as they say) in many different ways (probably to support the ultimate goal of globalism, but who knows .. perhaps they are just naïve - doubt it though). And there certainly have been many changes in each country (and in different parts of each country too) over the years.


I know many will say one cannot hold allegiance to more than one country - but I do and it is not wrong or impossible in my estimation, as long as I act according to the laws and traditions of whatever country I am in while I am there - keep up with changes in that society, and make a real effort to understand where the people of that country are coming from according to their history and modern day societal changes. Just as one might speak a different language in a different country, one can think differently when being present in that country or through having enough experience being there that one 'gets' the people and lifestyle, etc. there. I proudly identify as American and Canadian, with strong Welsh influences in my background and ways of thinking too. I refuse to hyphenate though.


In my case though I guess it is easier than it may be for some who hold more than one citizenship because different as these 3 countries are they are also very similar and (luckily, so far) not at war. But, I don't disagree that it would probably have been/would still be much easier for me to pick one and just stay there and be just Canadian or American. My life has been both more complicated and richer for having all these national associations. It just hasn't yet gone according to that easier plan. In my case though I think it is possible I actually appreciate each country for what it is more than many who have lived in each all their lives.


To 'feel' connected to being American (just it does to feel connected to any other nationality/country) takes active and ongoing effort, and a long realistic look back at the history that created common bonds and aims.

Last edited by Aery11; 09-08-2016 at 01:01 PM..
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Old 09-09-2016, 08:19 PM
 
Location: U.S.A.
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'Merica.. Yeah, I hear ya. I don't even feel like I'm from this planet, so..
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