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Many of you know that I'm undergoing anger management, given recent events in my past. Tonight I was speaking with a friend over a Halloween costume I bought. I took pics of me (in the costume), posted it on Facebook, everybody thought it was cool.
Let me preface this a sec: I was going to dress in a different costume, but I'd done that costume last year; this year I decided to change up. Anyway, my friend gave a compliment on FB. Unfortunately my FB froze and crashed, so I couldn't get back on for a bit.
This evening, friend texted me. She was upset 'cause I didn't respond to compliment. Okay. Thought I was treating her ****ty. I wasn't. I explained the situation (froze, crash) I apologized. She kept harping on and on: " I'm inconsiderate, I don't say 'thank you', this, that, the other..." Finally, I got mad, lost my easy-to-lose temper, and yelled at her. "HOW MANY GOD DAMN TIMES CAN I SAY I'M SORRY??? I MADE A ****ING MISTAKE, OKAY?? I'M ADMITTING THAT I MESSED UP, WHAT THE **** DO YOU WANT FROM ME? BLOOD???"
Finally, I just said goodnight. I think she's hurt by my raising my voice, but I hate constant harping, with a passion! Tell me something once, good or bad, and I get the message.
I still get instances of "mini-eruptions", and I'm trying to squash them. Last night (Saturday night) my date and I were in a bar. Someone she knew (who was well in their cups) wanted to talk to my date. This someone (a female) put her hand on me and said "Go away." I piped up immediately, "Don't tell me to go away!" My date knew by the tone of my voice that I was not happy - we left immediately.
I've been told that I speak too "drill sergeant-ish". Can anyone elaborate?
I imagine your voice becomes harsh and sounds as if you are ordering people around.
I also imagine that using this voice might scare some women.
Is that the effect you want?
I think it is good that you are trying to manage your anger. I hope you are attempting to find out why you are angry. People who have anger issues are often always angry about something in their lives. Self knowledge will go a long way to help you manage yourself.
Hang out with a better quality of people.
I don't know anyone on my entire friends list of 300 people who would complain about me not responding to something on Facebook unless it was a direct question. And then they'd follow up with a text if it was that important. Also, I have no friends who would tell who I was with to "go away."
But yes, your reactions are out of proportion. Why on earth would you waste your energy on the responses your coming up with?
I did apologize for my tirade about the miscommunication. As far as the latter, the person who told me to "go away" was, as I said, well into their cups. My date called me Sunday and apologized profusely, but it wasn't her fault and I told her so.
Many of you know that I'm undergoing anger management, given recent events in my past. Tonight I was speaking with a friend over a Halloween costume I bought. I took pics of me (in the costume), posted it on Facebook, everybody thought it was cool.
Let me preface this a sec: I was going to dress in a different costume, but I'd done that costume last year; this year I decided to change up. Anyway, my friend gave a compliment on FB. Unfortunately my FB froze and crashed, so I couldn't get back on for a bit.
This evening, friend texted me. She was upset 'cause I didn't respond to compliment. Okay. Thought I was treating her ****ty. I wasn't. I explained the situation (froze, crash) I apologized. She kept harping on and on: " I'm inconsiderate, I don't say 'thank you', this, that, the other..." Finally, I got mad, lost my easy-to-lose temper, and yelled at her. "HOW MANY GOD DAMN TIMES CAN I SAY I'M SORRY??? I MADE A ****ING MISTAKE, OKAY?? I'M ADMITTING THAT I MESSED UP, WHAT THE **** DO YOU WANT FROM ME? BLOOD???"
Finally, I just said goodnight. I think she's hurt by my raising my voice, but I hate constant harping, with a passion! Tell me something once, good or bad, and I get the message.
I still get instances of "mini-eruptions", and I'm trying to squash them. Last night (Saturday night) my date and I were in a bar. Someone she knew (who was well in their cups) wanted to talk to my date. This someone (a female) put her hand on me and said "Go away." I piped up immediately, "Don't tell me to go away!" My date knew by the tone of my voice that I was not happy - we left immediately.
I've been told that I speak too "drill sergeant-ish". Can anyone elaborate?
I see nothing wrong with your reaction. Maybe I need help, too?
It's called being "Quick to Anger". And to many women (myself included) it is very scary. For some insane reason I always wind up attracted to men like that although intellectually; I can't stand it!
I cannot bear the "walking on eggshells" feeling ... It's good you are getting help for this. I wonder; how do men react to you?
Last night (Saturday night) my date and I were in a bar. Someone she knew (who was well in their cups) wanted to talk to my date. This someone (a female) put her hand on me and said "Go away." I piped up immediately, "Don't tell me to go away!" My date knew by the tone of my voice that I was not happy - we left immediately.
About the FB deal, your friend is a nutcase, but it still didn't warrant your childish screamfest.
As far as the other incident, it's becoming clear to me that you're borderline abusive, although I'm sure you haven't even tapped the surface on just how bad it is, to us, anyway.
Your behavior with your date and her friend was controlling. It's none of your business who she can & can't talk to. If you didn't like it, YOU should have left.
If I had been your date, I'd have stayed there and called a cab home, and blocked you from further contact.
As far as the other incident, it's becoming clear to me that you're borderline abusive, although I'm sure you haven't even tapped the surface on just how bad it is, to us, anyway.
Your behavior with your date and her friend was controlling. It's none of your business who she can & can't talk to. If you didn't like it, YOU should have left.
If I had been your date, I'd have stayed there and called a cab home, and blocked you from further contact.
She tells him pretty much to fck off and he put her in place and now he is abusive and controlling?
Maybe you have misread what he wrote. He didn't tell her she cannot talk to that woman. I am confused.
She tells him pretty much to fck off and he put her in place and now he is abusive and controlling?
Maybe you have misread what he wrote. He didn't tell her she cannot talk to that woman. I am confused.
I am going on his past history of posts. He is always posting threads about a recent Anger Incident, and 5 pages later we hear The Rest of the Story.
I have no doubt the "drunk" girl innocently came up to the table to talk to her friend and the OP acted irritated to the point that the friend told him to "go away" (and leave her alone to talk to her friend). He launches into a tirade, making a scene, and jumps up and leaves, with the "girlfriend" in his wake.
She tells him pretty much to fck off and he put her in place and now he is abusive and controlling?
Maybe you have misread what he wrote. He didn't tell her she cannot talk to that woman. I am confused.
You did misread. It was not my date who said that, it was my date's acquaintance! My date can talk to whoever the hell she wants! The friend could have just said, "Excuse us", and I'd have took a walk. My date did not like the way the friend spoke to me. It was her who suggested we leave.
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