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So, I'm a bit of a loner. People say "you're the nicest guy I don't know"
I have a couple of close friends from childhood that I keep up with.
My wife has her friends, but always wishes we were close with one couple together to have dinners with etc.
So, I tell her she can have all the friends she wants but dont include me. Lol.
I'm trying to change that. How do I do that, and why do I shy away from it.
I have had a hard time letting people "in" if you know what I mean. I don't let people get too close.
Find people you like. Be tolerant of differences and find enough in common to hang out. I have friends who play guitar with me and while we are opposites on politics and many other things we find enough in common to spend time together and HAVE A LOT OF FUN. Being tolerant of differences seems to be very hard for humans. My dogs are fine with it though. Also, don't use "text" to communicate as a rule. Call them on the phone, speak to them face to face. Text is so impersonal.
So, I'm a bit of a loner. People say "you're the nicest guy I don't know"
I have a couple of close friends from childhood that I keep up with.
My wife has her friends, but always wishes we were close with one couple together to have dinners with etc.
So, I tell her she can have all the friends she wants but dont include me. Lol.
I'm trying to change that. How do I do that, and why do I shy away from it.
I have had a hard time letting people "in" if you know what I mean. I don't let people get too close.
Thanks
You don't have to let anybody 'in.' Assuming your wife is good to you, just suck it up, go out on the occasional couples date and don't get into any controversial discussions. Keep the wife happy.
You don't have to let anybody 'in.' Assuming your wife is good to you, just suck it up, go out on the occasional couples date and don't get into any controversial discussions. Keep the wife happy.
That sounds painfully boring to just "be" there and not "connect" with anyone. My wife and I are great at finding couples who we both enjoy.
So, I'm a bit of a loner. People say "you're the nicest guy I don't know"
I have a couple of close friends from childhood that I keep up with.
My wife has her friends, but always wishes we were close with one couple together to have dinners with etc.
So, I tell her she can have all the friends she wants but dont include me. Lol.
I'm trying to change that. How do I do that, and why do I shy away from it.
I have had a hard time letting people "in" if you know what I mean. I don't let people get too close.
Thanks
How much are you sacrificing for her happiness? How much does she sacrifice for you?
We are talking, what, maybe a couple of hours per week? Is what you have so important that you can't suffer in silence for a couple of hours? Have you even made an attempt?
I know people who are socially awkward have a difficult time in these situations, but take some time and really think about what you and your wife would be gaining before taking the self-centered approach of "I don't like it, so I'm not doing it". I'd be willing to bet your wife would be very appreciative.
My wife and I have different sorts of friends in general, this was even the case before we knew each other. Generally this is a good thing it keeps things interesting.
However, I will say that there are VERY FEW husbands of my wife's friends that I feel any sort of friendship with. Like maybe 1 out of 10 if I'm lucky. I can speculate as to why, but it doesn't really matter.
We have much better luck doing couples social events with people I am friends with or people we've met recently or jointly.
So, I'm a bit of a loner. People say "you're the nicest guy I don't know"
I have a couple of close friends from childhood that I keep up with.
My wife has her friends, but always wishes we were close with one couple together to have dinners with etc.
So, I tell her she can have all the friends she wants but dont include me. Lol.
I'm trying to change that. How do I do that, and why do I shy away from it.
I have had a hard time letting people "in" if you know what I mean. I don't let people get too close.
Thanks
She is trying to find out if you are into swinging.. Go have fun..
So, I'm a bit of a loner. People say "you're the nicest guy I don't know"
I have a couple of close friends from childhood that I keep up with.
My wife has her friends, but always wishes we were close with one couple together to have dinners with etc.
So, I tell her she can have all the friends she wants but dont include me. Lol.
I'm trying to change that. How do I do that, and why do I shy away from it.
I have had a hard time letting people "in" if you know what I mean. I don't let people get too close.
Thanks
Just have a few drinks and try some couples. Pick the two best couples and see them on a fairly regular basis - at different events. After a year they will start to seem like friends enough for your wife to be happy and you to be ok with it; even if its not something you'd initiate.
I assume she married you knowing you were a loner. Now she wants you to change...
I knew my husband was a loner when I married him. Luckily I have some loner qualities too--so it works out.
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I assume she married you knowing you were a loner. Now she wants you to change...
