Do i need to keep explaining how I feel like ASD is ruining my life?

[pikabike]

Originally Posted by krmb

Now, don't get me wrong. I love my ASD. It's just something that is not easy to cope with. It allows me extreme outside-of-the-box thinking, a "photographic" memory, and generally outstanding academic performance. Those features I wouldn't trade for anything. It's the social miscommunication and extreme disorganization that I could do without except for when it's convenient. Those drawbacks make those other fantastic traits almost not noticeable.

This is the problem. You love your ASD and consider it an all-or-nothing proposition, "Love me, love my ASD." Guess what...other people don't feel they should continually make allowances just to experience your alleged strengths. If your negative qualities outshout your good ones, then YOU need to reduce the negative behaviors. Not expect others to ignore the negative so they can see the positive.

You are a perfect example of Special Snowflake syndrome.

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by JerZ

This may be down to obsessions and perseveration. My sons do this...if they have worry they literally can not let go of it even in the face of a reply that could help.

That makes sense to me. I have some OCD issues--not the commonly-perceived handwashing stuff you see on TV, but mental obsessions and rituals like counting. I am a worrier to the point where if there is nothing to worry about, I worry because that's when "it" will happen.

But...after years of therapy, I catch myself. Most of the time.

[JerZ]

Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801

That makes sense to me. I have some OCD issues--not the commonly-perceived handwashing stuff you see on TV, but mental obsessions and rituals like counting. I am a worrier to the point where if there is nothing to worry about, I worry because that's when "it" will happen.

But...after years of therapy, I catch myself. Most of the time.

Yep, that's the thing. Once we know these things about ourselves, we HAVE to work on them...nobody else is going to do it for us.

It is hard, especially with autism. But nobody can row our boats for us, nobody...and no...society can't change just for us. If so, practically every person would have his/her very own society. Most people feel others don't understand us in some ways. With autism, potentially, there are more ways. But the bottom line is, and my every hippie fiber is rebelling at the thought but it's true, the rest of the world can't just psychically understand us. We do have to try to make ourselves understood, all of us, and not just wait for the world to "love us or leave us" every time. It's just not possible. That would be utter chaos and eventually nobody would no what the hell anybody else wanted or was thinking.

We all need to meet eachother halfway. With autism we have to work harder. So what - if I were in a wheelchair I'd have to work harder to get certain things done (most things, probably). If I were born in a different nation certain things would be much harder. If I were ill in certain ways life would be harder. Life is hard on everybody but we can't expect the globe to stop just for us. That would just be impossible.

OP, you really really really really really need some solid form of therapy with a therapist who deals with autism specifically, and if you have that but she's not performing, you need to find a different one...until you can manage to make some changes. You do not have to change EVERYTHING about yourself and you do not need to "change" being autistic (even if you could) but you do need to make some changes. This is NOT RARE and you are NOT EXCEPTIONAL in that one way...even NTs have to refine and change things all the time. We *all* have to do this..on or off the spectrum and every kind of person who exists.

I'm 99.9% sure you're stuck right now, perseverating. Even as you're answering us it's really not getting in because your "but...but...but" is jumping in over and over again. NO. STOP. Get yourself unstuck. Now. Make ONE move. One. One single change. Even a small one. Right now. Don't answer this post. Don't say "...but..." DON'T. STOP IT NOW and make ONE change, one, that was listed somewhere along this thread. Then come back and talk about it if you'd like.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

[Mightyqueen801]

^Great post. While I cannot claim to identify with autism, I did notice that the OP made a few statements about not knowing X or taking a long time to learn Y. That's everybody. We all go through that in different ways. I am a person who can and has gotten up and spoken and given presentations to a room of 500 people. 35 years ago I could barely get through a small gathering, I was so shy and socially awkward and clueless as to how to interact with normal people. We may always have limitations, but we all can learn and change to the extent we are able.