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Old 11-10-2016, 10:39 AM
 
Location: not normal, IL
776 posts, read 575,272 times
Reputation: 917

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitt Chick View Post
This is not a support group, it is a message board.
If you don't want opinions, don't post.

There is no way all men are conspiring against you....
have you considered therapy?
I'm sorry I can give this only one credit, but that's just the way CD works.
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Old 11-10-2016, 10:43 AM
 
30 posts, read 32,432 times
Reputation: 127
It's probably just a guess, but I would say that this is a reaction more to your attitude than your appearance. I have found that men are very nice to someone that is less than attractive if they are smiling, happy and exude a positive, joyful vibe. If I were in your shoes, I'd work on cultivating a very nice, cheerful presence and see if that doesn't help.
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Old 11-10-2016, 11:11 AM
 
42 posts, read 76,471 times
Reputation: 68
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
Okay, so what do you want to hear then?


Yes, all men are bad? Poor you?


Or


What are you doing to make them look dirty to you? Are you uncombed? Smelly? Wear clothes that won't fit? Too tight? too short, belly hanging out? Bad hair cut? Wearing pajama outside the house? You are a woman, we have tons of tricks to make ourselve look okay even if we aren't blessed with the beauty gene.
I told you i did nothing wrong
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Old 11-10-2016, 11:13 AM
 
42 posts, read 76,471 times
Reputation: 68
I dontwalk around joyful and happy not everyone is an extrovert.. But i dont desrve these scowls and noises of disgust.
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Old 11-10-2016, 11:16 AM
 
5,051 posts, read 3,547,459 times
Reputation: 6510
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain2222 View Post
I'm so tired of getting dirty looks from men. I have tried ignoring them, telling them off, giving them dirty looks back and just walking away from it. Its because I don't look attractive but why do they care? I don't do anything wrong either which makes me even more angry. I just walk into a store and men have the most evil look on their face like I ruined their day. I want to punch them but I can't. Sometimes I walking in a parking lot to go into a store and a man will just start coughing, hacking and spitting because I walked by, to try to intimidate me...
I try to ignore it by realizing they are pathetic but it's not enough.. I am building my self esteem because I was raised without it but it's hard because I don't get a llot of support minus the crap I have to deal with on a daily basis. Men believe that if a women is beautiful, she deserves kindess and anything less deserves to be ignored or ridiculed. Maybe not for older women but young women this is true. How do I deal with it without so much anger anymore because I don't need their negativity in my life?
Humor is your friend. Try to think of several witty responses then try them out with a smile on your face - you might be pleasantly surprised by the reaction.

Last edited by Vacanegro; 11-10-2016 at 11:40 AM..
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Old 11-10-2016, 11:26 AM
 
42 posts, read 76,471 times
Reputation: 68
Maybe i should try this because ot takes the anger away and its a release so im not holding it in...also it could empower me when i start to feel a little degraded and powerless by their behavior
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Old 11-10-2016, 11:27 AM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,683 posts, read 19,804,862 times
Reputation: 42926
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain2222 View Post
Maybe i should try this because ot takes the anger away and its a release so im not holding it in...also it could empower me when i start to feel a liittle degraxed and powerless. Y their behavior
Kill them with kindness. That'll make them feel stupid and guilty
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Old 11-10-2016, 11:55 AM
 
Location: Philippines
1,211 posts, read 1,060,774 times
Reputation: 888
I'm not sure where you live but here in Charleston, SC I have never heard of such a thing being common. Sure there are jerks everywhere but if you are getting that constantly then that's just weird. I would recommend taking a look at yourself in the mirror to see if there is something triggering it. Like wearing big pink puffy bedroom slippers to a nice restaurant would be a no no and would get looks. Or having a hairdo that's from out of this world would do it.

Then assuming you look normal then you should fit in. Unless someone is overt with you and calls you out, then I would ignore anyone who seems problematic. Wait for someone to clearly insult you and then let them have it. Here in Charleston, nobody is routinely insulted based on lack of attractiveness.

There is likely a trigger, or you are making eye contact with cues that don't seem friendly. Pretend you are Sandra Bullock, full of confidence but private. Keep to yourself unless someone DIRECTLY insults you, then let them have it with both guns. I always say "You teach people how to treat you" so it's time for you to be the teacher.

Is this your hair?
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Old 11-10-2016, 12:01 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
22,254 posts, read 47,182,535 times
Reputation: 47168
Quote:
Originally Posted by thaifood View Post
There is likely a trigger, or you are making eye contact with cues that don't seem friendly.
Oh, there is NO chance of that!

http://www.city-data.com/forum/psych...eyes-they.html
The OP thinks all cashiers are mad at them too...
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Old 11-10-2016, 12:32 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,627 posts, read 34,098,587 times
Reputation: 76624
OP, you should tell those guys to smile. People love that.

Last edited by fleetiebelle; 11-10-2016 at 12:42 PM..
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