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Oversimplifying things, our personalities form during our developmental years. You can define that variously, but our general personality is mostly formed by the time we have reached our adult years. After that some experience life changing events that can have an ever lasting effect including personality changes both good and bad.
I agree with this, with the exception that "Personality" can change polarity from good to bad, or from bad to good. I believe the basic Personality remains, but the intensity may increase or decrease. For example, if one was a Bully when younger, he may mot exhibit that trait, for fear of punishment, or fear of being seen as a Bully, but under the right circumstances, he would still be that Bully, or he could end up being a Violent Adult with a temper. The basic Personality would still remain. Just my opinion from observing.
All that would do is let some one else make the mistake, if thats what it turned out to beIts not easy to hire and fire, and you have to get rid of any emotions and conduct it as a business transaction. Your instincts are usually right, and if your questioning it in your mind, then pass and go to the next applicant. As an example, I would never hire anyone that had to ask for a Pencil or Pen when they came in to apply. I figured if they are not coming prepared to apply for a Position, then how can they come prepared to do the Job if they got it. Once, I did not follow that rule, and hired a person, against my instinct, that asked for a Pen, and it was the worst mistake I ever made. First instincts are better.
I would totally agree with you except if I were applying and the place were too cheap to have a pen or pencil to fill out the application, then they're probably too bad to work for. I left them later and found out still later that the man in charge was wanted by Interpol.
If 'personality' is the sum total of a person's character and behaviour (as it is usually defined in dictionaries), and if character is a combination of 'nature and nurture' then there should be room for behaviour to change over time - and indeed it can with most people. Age, level of maturity, life experiences, training can mold a person and affect behaviour and hence how one's personality comes through to the world. I think it is not a given that someone who bullied when they were a child is still a bully as an adult, though they could be of course.
And it is also possible that, unless one knew a particular child intimately - saw them every day for many years - that 'bullying' was never really part of their 'personality' but merely a poorly thought out or automatic reaction to a bad situation which might have presented itself several times. Then it might come down to determining if one can 'unlearn' a reaction which has become ingrained - and yes, people do do that with a lot of work if they recognize a problem and are determined to change, but not all people do of course.
And then too, does behaviour affect 'personality' in the reverse sense as well? In other words, if you bully long enough, does it become 'you', a part of your 'personality'? I think it may in some cases (conditioning) and not in others depending on subsequent life experiences. I think 'personality' is probably malleable to some extent.
Additionally, your own age, experiences and 'personality' may have affected how you viewed the behaviour of this other person when you were both children - perhaps it was not as bad as you remember or perhaps you were overly sensitive because of your life experiences, etc.
The real question however in the scenario presented might be how to determine that (whether the interviewee is still a bully - or should that be better phrased as 'engaging in bullying') during a short interview when the person facing you is an adult and surely won't resort to that kind of behaviour in that situation because presumably they want the job.
Because you have knowledge of this person's behaviour when he was a child and that behaviour did not make a positive impression, it is understandable that you might associate that behaviour with the adult as well. And it is also a behaviour that is probably not one that would work well in the workplace in most circumstances/jobs.
If you cannot discern through references and any pattern of employment/advancement whether the person still engages in 'bullying' on a regular basis, my suggestion would be perhaps to recuse yourself from the interviewing process if possible, especially if the applicant is so well qualified on paper for the position that an interview is inevitable - just as you might if you had overly positive memories of 'childhood interactions' with a particular candidate (to the point that you might influence a hiring decision without really concentrating on what you know of that person's activities, behaviour, etc. as an adult). That way you cannot display your personal bias (based on your experience with this person years ago) in any way that will affect his chances to get the job - and that is the fair way to do this.
If the person in question gets the job and then displays those negative behaviours/traits, then your company will have ways to document that and dispense with his services down the line.
I asked a similar question how can I be more disciplined and complete things or focus on one thing.
He said that trying to change your nature causes inner rebellion,I don't know the right answer
I try to be dedicated and stick to one thing and complete it but I'd appreciate tips on staying that way.
Looking at the big five or Meyers-Briggs, I'd say there's a good chance that you score low on conscientiousness. The good news is that most people become more conscientious as they age. Otherwise, you would probably do well to look up your personality type and see what they say about this particular aspect. There are also suggestions about what type of job is better for you.
That's a hard one. I think your basic personality is formed at a very young age. I think you have to go with your gut on this one. Is that inner voice saying take a chance or run?
Thanks old woman I'm infp.I do what I have to do - if it's for a short course or work or what have you but for personal creative projects I'll start a novel,painting,blog etc all at the same time and never finish it.
I've definately noticed I'm more dedicated as I age though ,but still I abandon things.I have quite a lot of sketches and paintings I did complete though.
I study ninety different things at the same time nibbling almost,rather than delve properly into one subject.
I really admire people who are passionate about one thing like theyre a pianist and are fully dedicated to that.
I'd like to change but I believe the personality is pretty fixed - I have more belief in nature and genetics than nuture.
Quote:
Originally Posted by oldwoman
Looking at the big five or Meyers-Briggs, I'd say there's a good chance that you score low on conscientiousness. The good news is that most people become more conscientious as they age. Otherwise, you would probably do well to look up your personality type and see what they say about this particular aspect. There are also suggestions about what type of job is better for you.
Last edited by Katiethegreat; 12-24-2016 at 11:52 AM..
They can't change their personality, but they can change the way they treat people if they REALLY want to.
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