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OP, I am sorry you are involved with someone who may be like this, but, if you are and he doesn't even want to recognize it much less get help for himself, how do you expect that counselling will help you both relationship-wise? Do you just want to learn to be more 'accepting' of how he treats you? Does that sound like the good life to you?
I believe my ex-husband was at least borderline 'narcissistic'. Believe me, it is very stressful to deal with (so if you have been gaslighted and have found yourself feeling crazy when trying to communicate with him, among many other things that can be trying on a daily basis, you have my empathy - it is tough). When I woke up to what might be happening, I was too strong for him to control that way any more so he found a 'replacement' for me and kicked me out. No way was he going to change - he couldn't most likely but he didn't want to anyway.
Wanted to add, if you read the article (blog post) if there's any way you can imagine being involved with someone like that, that's my life. I don't think he wants to be like that, he just is. So we talked this morning and we're going to try to work it out. Hopefully we can find a good counselor.
Really confusing as to why you would want to be with someone like him ??
Facetiously, I would say it means you've just had sex.
Seriously, I would agree with this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhureeKeeper
Narcissists would only say "I love you" if it were to benefit them in some fashion. ?
I was involved with a classic case who, while not really believing he is , does acknowledge that he has emotional connection issues.
He told me when I objected to him telling me he loved me that he means he does in whatever way is possible for him.
Boy, it's hard to believe anyone could be that bad.
I think the "therapist" is projecting her own problems onto what she calls "narcissists."
It's ingrained and that behavior is seamless.
GASLIGHT-manipulate someone by psychological means into believing they're crazy or an event didn't happen.
After our discussion he made an effort to"prove" there's no problem. I reminded him this morning to keep his eyes out for a good counselor. I can make this effort. I think he understands he has problems.
And if he doesn't go through with the counseling, then...?
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