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Old 01-27-2017, 10:53 AM
 
Location: East Midlands, UK
854 posts, read 520,000 times
Reputation: 1840

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Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
You are the captain of your own ship - your life is as boring as you make it.


Yes, making friends as an adult is harder. I can tell you why - people usually have long established friendships already, often formed in high school. Also, they are more guarded. They have a partner/children/job and there isn't much time left to make new friends.


However, I have come to the US at the age of 29 and made friends at work. Then I moved to a different state and made friends there - some at work. Some through hobbies.


I am glad I am not a child anymore. I hated my childhood and the bullying. Now I can choose the people I have around me and I am independent, can make my own decisions without having to ask my parents for approval/money and I am not afraid to tell mean people to go suck a ..


The form of bullying you experience is probably of your gender thing you have going on (I remember you from other posts). I suggest you look for friends in the homosexual area, they are more likely accepting and open. I would frequent gay bars if I was you. I have gay friends, they are the greatest and much fun to be around despite their struggles for acceptance.
I'm not gay and the bullying I'm referring to is workplace bullying, which does exist. And even cyber bullying whoch is a legitimate form of bullying in itself.
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Old 01-27-2017, 10:56 AM
 
Location: NJ
343 posts, read 229,367 times
Reputation: 1216
Sounds like you are just feeling a bit stuck. According to Erickson we go through the stage of generativity vs. stagnation. You either contribute to the next generation: through your own kids, mentoring via careers or help through avocational work (volunteering). If you are truly feeling depressed a therapist can help. If it's just that you are mildly unexcited about your stage in life try to get involved in a new arena somehow. Branch out from your comfort zone a little. You will feel like you are growing (because we never really stop growing) and perhaps may impact others positively.
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Old 01-27-2017, 11:11 AM
 
14,078 posts, read 16,599,803 times
Reputation: 17654
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
You are the captain of your own ship - your life is as boring as you make it.


Yes, making friends as an adult is harder. I can tell you why - people usually have long established friendships already, often formed in high school. Also, they are more guarded. They have a partner/children/job and there isn't much time left to make new friends.
True. I don't have kids or a spouse and even I feel like I don't have enough time in the day to do the things I want to do. Working, preparing to go to work, and sleeping takes up a ton of time. I don't know how people with kids and other responsibilities manage because I hate feeling like I don't have enough time to myself. When I do have downtime on the weekends, I definitely don't think about using it to try to make friends, but I'm not very sociable anyway.
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Old 01-27-2017, 11:23 AM
 
Location: On the road
2,798 posts, read 2,674,960 times
Reputation: 3192
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy-Cat-Lady View Post
Therapy for questioning the way life is? I question everything. Which is related to my OP as adulthood also includes being forced to accept something rather than question it.
Nope. Therapy to help you figure out how to not live a boring life.
Boredom comes from inside.
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Old 01-27-2017, 11:30 AM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,756 posts, read 19,947,491 times
Reputation: 43151
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy-Cat-Lady View Post
I'm not gay and the bullying I'm referring to is workplace bullying, which does exist. And even cyber bullying whoch is a legitimate form of bullying in itself.
Transgender. I don't remember correctly.


Cyber bullying - you don't have to login where you get bullied.
Workplace - file a lawsuit. Change jobs.


There are options and choices, you just have to want them badly enough to take action. I suggest counseling and maybe some medication to get you out of your depression. Maybe it helps a little to get the motivation to take the necessary steps to better your life and get more happiness.


For me, my dog helps me in bad times. I had cats before but a dog gives you a lot more in love and joy. You can hug a dog for real without getting scratched and they love you unconditionally. They make you get out of bed and leave the house. If you don't want to commit, you can just foster.
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Old 01-27-2017, 11:39 AM
 
Location: East Midlands, UK
854 posts, read 520,000 times
Reputation: 1840
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
Transgender. I don't remember correctly.


Cyber bullying - you don't have to login where you get bullied.
Workplace - file a lawsuit. Change jobs.


There are options and choices, you just have to want them badly enough to take action. I suggest counseling and maybe some medication to get you out of your depression. Maybe it helps a little to get the motivation to take the necessary steps to better your life and get more happiness.


For me, my dog helps me in bad times. I had cats before but a dog gives you a lot more in love and joy. You can hug a dog for real without getting scratched and they love you unconditionally. They make you get out of bed and leave the house. If you don't want to commit, you can just foster.
I don't mind you bringing up my gender for other reasons, but as I keep reiterating to others it's not impacting my life anywhere near as much as it used to. My issues are largely existential and due to being on the more functional end of the autism spectrum. I'm very socially awkward and that IS something I am in therapy for.

I certainly do not want to live in a gay area. They're the most jsmental people and many of them hate my kind. I don't even want or need trans friends. My exposure to the community earlier in my transition was ver negative. It yells for acceptance but is just as judgmental as orhers. No thanks

I love dogs but I am a cat lady . I can't have pets in the apartment I'm in unfortunately. But I'll probably get 2 kitties when i can.
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Old 01-27-2017, 11:44 AM
 
894 posts, read 586,518 times
Reputation: 1381
Quote:
Originally Posted by ccc123 View Post
If you are bored and not happy with your life then change it. I'm not bored or depressed. Start a new hobby, join a club, join a gym, do some volunteer work etc. all kinds of ways to relieve boredom. Maybe you need to surround yourself with more positive people because most of us are not miserable. It's harder to make friends as an adult but the rest of us do it so you can to.
I agree. There's all sorts of things one can do to make their time on Earth happier and more fulfilling.

I've had some disappointments and setbacks in my adult years but I still prefer these years now more than my teen years. And as far as the OP claiming life is boring now, the lesson I learn every day is that life is what we make it.

Months ago, another poster wisely said to someone "Bloom where you are planted." I think that's great advice. Life doesn't have to be just dreary, dull, and waiting to die.
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Old 01-27-2017, 11:50 AM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,756 posts, read 19,947,491 times
Reputation: 43151
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy-Cat-Lady View Post
I don't mind you bringing up my gender for other reasons, but as I keep reiterating to others it's not impacting my life anywhere near as much as it used to. My issues are largely existential and due to being on the more functional end of the autism spectrum. I'm very socially awkward and that IS something I am in therapy for.

I certainly do not want to live in a gay area. They're the most jsmental people and many of them hate my kind. I don't even want or need trans friends. My exposure to the community earlier in my transition was ver negative. It yells for acceptance but is just as judgmental as orhers. No thanks

I love dogs but I am a cat lady . I can't have pets in the apartment I'm in unfortunately. But I'll probably get 2 kitties when i can.
okay, sorry. I thought this is the reason why you struggle with your life and why you get bullied and why you are socially awkward. I think autism + gender stuff = the reason why you are unhappy with yourself.


I'll get outta here now, since I am so off topic . Sorry again ...
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Old 01-27-2017, 11:54 AM
 
Location: East Midlands, UK
854 posts, read 520,000 times
Reputation: 1840
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
okay, sorry. I thought this is the reason why you struggle with your life and why you get bullied and why you are socially awkward. I think autism + gender stuff = the reason why you are unhappy with yourself.


I'll get outta here now, since I am so off topic . Sorry again ...
You don't have to apologize. But no, being trans is mostly a non-issue as far as daily life goes. It has allowed me to now focus on other issues which are impacting me.
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Old 01-27-2017, 12:18 PM
 
Location: Berwick, Penna.
16,214 posts, read 11,324,217 times
Reputation: 20827
"The first twenty years of your life are spent trying on a life-mask; the rest are spent trying on a mask of a different sort."

Stephen King in Christine

"We all get death sentences the day we are born: it's how a man lives with it that counts."

Robert Heinlein in The Moon is a Harsh Mistress


Plenty of wisdom in both observations, but I'll take Heinlein's.
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