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Do I feel the same? Yikes no dear one. We just got back from a trip with friends who are almost 30 years younger then us and their adorable 4 year old. We had a great time together. If I had one complaint it would be that John and I didn't have a single minute for some adult time together. We were literally on the go from early morning until well after midnight.
Life is an amazing adventure at any age if you are open to it. I always find ways to have fun. That roller coaster was a rush too. I rode it 3 times. Again Try to think of life that way.
What a sad, if eye-catching, thread title! I am 72, and for me adulthood has been nothing like a "slow death". It has been, and continues to be, a time of learning new things and gratifying activities, a time of looking forward eagerly to all sorts of things.
That is not the same as saying I have experienced an earthly paradise, as there have been major disappointments, setbacks, deep grief from loss, and considerable stress at times.
Threads like this are a reminder that our fellow human beings can be suffering horribly, even when the suffering is not related to material/financial deprivation. I was bowled over by Wild Flower's post above; she went to summer camp in the fourth grade and talked to no other children the whole time because she "didn't know how". Reading that is almost enough to make one sit down and cry.
Well now. The truth is I went to camp by my own choice. I insisted I wanted to go when I heard anout it. What I remembered from camp was a kid yelling to his camp leader not to get wet as she was about to jump off the high dive. Maybe that influenced my later personality. Their example of playful fun stuck in my brain! The quiet child was watching!
Sometimes I get depressed. I don't often get bored, though. Maybe it's cliched, but you really need to find what's worthwhile, enjoyable, and engaging for you, and pursue that. I am a photography hobbyist, so if I start feeling a little restless I just go out with my camera. It forces me to really look curiously at the world around me, and to be more active, both of which are anti-boredom remedies, and there is an infinity of information out there about honing one's craft, great reading for a dreary afternoon. I guess what I'm saying is, find something that engages your mind and preferably your body as well, and that makes you feel like you're moving toward a goal. The arts offer a wealth of such things...learning an instrument, learning to paint, mastering digital artistry, writing a novel, etc., but that's certainly not the only milieu.
Therapy for questioning the way life is? I question everything. Which is related to my OP as adulthood also includes being forced to accept something rather than question it.
Therapy for your feelings of helplessness about your life. No, it's not normal to feel as you do, and it's not the normal state of adulthood to be lonely and miserable. I wish I didn't have to work, but I didn't get on some automatic walkway that led to a house and kids and all that.
In my late 30's I picked up and left my ex (not married, 15 years live in) and the awful boring suburb I hated, and moved to an apartment in a beach town. I am never bored, I have ferris wheels and giant mini golf course creatures outside my windows and I feel like I live in the middle of the Magic Kingdom. At 54, I found the love of my life, and almost a year later we're still walking on clouds because we found each other. I work with elderly people, who make me feel like a youngster even at my age (the men are still like "I"ll follow you anywhere, Baby") and are hilarious and have me laughing half the day.
There are many things that I don't like, don't get me wrong. Aside from meeting my Honey, 2016 was one of the worst in my life as I had debilitating Sciatica that led to 4 epidurals and finally surgery, and I had to apply for Medicaid for my mom during this horrible pain, which is an all-consuming and difficult process. I was out of work for 10 months total and have racked up credit card debt I'll be paying off for a long time. It has not been a bed of roses, but the good outweighs the bad.
The most lonely, horrible year in recent memory however was when I first moved here after I left my ex. It was winter, a time of low population here, I didn't know people, and my ex "got the friends" since I had pretty much traded mine for his over the years (he didn't like my friends/family), and I had let a lot of distance come between my family and I. To top it off, the very first man I fell in love with after I left (i knew him previously) shattered my heart in a million pieces.
Without question, it was a horrible, lonely and miserable time. I didn't give up though. I continued seeing the counselor I started seeing before I made the decision to leave my ex (he was a God send for me during that process), I joined the local Democratic club to try to meet people, and I kept going even after I discovered it consisted of only half a dozen elderly men and women, I started going a couple times a week to the local animal shelter as a volunteer to socialize the cats (basicially playing with them and petting them for an hour), and I started rebuilding ties to my extended family.
Now so many years later, I am happier then I have ever been, and my life is anything but boring. You DO have control, but your OP does sound like you feel in a very helpless place. That is absolutely a matter therapy could help with.
ALL of life is a slow death. We start dying the second we're born, so make the most of it.
My daily life I suppose is boring to some... I work from home, I have a 3 yr old daughter and a wife, and we're doing the family thing in the suburbs. Before the kid came along, we went out almost every night for dinner, drinks, movies, etc. Definitely not boring. But now we've chosen to start a family, and we've slowed down, that was our choice. I still don't consider my life as boring, though maybe some young millionaire with no responsibilities would. But I already had my carefree days... going out all the time, drinking/partying... that gets boring too.
Someone else beat me to it. I was going to say that we start dying the moment we pop out. Perhaps I should have stayed in?
After I turned 56, or so, I became aware that I will, someday, die of old age. There is truth to the old adage "The wrong side of 50."
I used to think 120 was an attainable goal. That got moved back to 101. Not I am shooting for the 80's:
Exercise
Blueberries
Onions
Garlic
Sleep
More exercise
Pets
Sunshine
Red peppers
Cinnamon
Greens
Pineapples
Genetics..never hurts
Reality occurs between the ears. Beauty is about the most over rated thing in the world.
Someone else beat me to it. I was going to say that we start dying the moment we pop out. Perhaps I should have stayed in?
After I turned 56, or so, I became aware that I will, someday, die of old age. There is truth to the old adage "The wrong side of 50."
I used to think 120 was an attainable goal. That got moved back to 101. Not I am shooting for the 80's:
Exercise
Blueberries
Onions
Garlic
Sleep
More exercise
Pets
Sunshine
Red peppers
Cinnamon
Greens
Pineapples
Genetics..never hurts
Reality occurs between the ears. Beauty is about the most over rated thing in the world.
Add to list: meditation. It keeps the stress hormones down, which prolongs life (or eliminates one cause of a life cutting short of one's genetic potential).
There’s stark difference between “boredom” in the sense of lacking substantive avocations to get through the day; and general confidence that the sweetness of life’s fruits overcomes the burden and travails of harvesting them. In other words, a person could be occupied and even enthralled with games, work, fitness, socializing, learning, volunteering, good works, pursuit of knowledge, or whatever else… and yet, feel vacuity and frustration, sense of pointlessness and despondency that the whole enterprise lacks substance of compelling reason. We plod along from sense of duty, or lack of comprehension of what else to do. It is more about inertia than self-direction. We're not "bored"; perhaps we're all too busy. But are we fulfilled?
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Try to think of life that way.
) and are hilarious and have me laughing half the day.
