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Well, the question is whether you are satisfied by how you feel right now. If you're not and you want to feel happier, therapy and medication are two of the easier ways to do it.
Yes, the world is a terrible place. But it's always been a terrible place, and frankly it's a little LESS terrible now. Spend some time reading history and you will never want to live in another time. If you can't compartmentalize the ills of the world enough to live a satisfying life, then yeah, you're going to be depressed.
I volunteer and spread the word about causes I care about. In general, I try to live an ethical life in which my main objective is to always choose kindness whenever possible. Not always successful, but I give it my best shot. What other choice do I have besides dwelling constantly on stuff I cannot control.
If you're complaining to people about how depressed or sad or demoralized you are, yes, they are going to give you suggestions eventually as to what you should do. Maybe you are never going to be a bright-eyed optimist, but if you continually express dissatisfaction with your life, people are going to take it as a plea for help.
I have my bullet journal to keep me focused. I meditate. I enjoy yoga when I make the time for it in my life, and I love to run. I spend time playing and working with my dogs, who are very nice fellows, and I spend a lot of time communicating with the people I love. When people are mean to me, I generally laugh it off or "kind" them to death (unless it's my mother - I will not tolerate her BS any longer and can get rather stern with her when she violates clear boundaries). I was bullied a lot in school and was very socially awkward for a long time, but I decided to push past it - the people who mess with me no longer signify and I work hard to forge good relationships with the people who are positive influences in my life.
I will say that happiness is a conscious choice on my part. I wake up and decide that today will be a good day because I will keep the bad stuff in perspective and do my best to enjoy and improve the world around me, even if it's just picking up the dirty laundry in my room.
But therapy and meds have been a lifeline to me at various points in my life. Therapy was critical after my best friend and her mother died in quick succession when I was in my early 20s. In retrospect, the therapist wasn't very good, but she did keep me afloat at a very difficult time. Currently (nearly 20 years after my first therapy sessions), I am shopping for another therapist to help me address some long-sidelined issues with my mother, but my life coach is also part of my "team" and she helps me to focus on what my next step will be, and I've made considerable strides working with her.
Meds were necessary a couple years ago. I was on a low dose of Zoloft and it changed my life. I had been under a ton of stress, and the pills dialed back my anxiety enough for me to address the underlying causes. It was a HUGE help. I was on it for a few years, and "weaned" myself off in the worst way possible. I went on a 2-week vacation and forgot to take my pills, but I was so happy on the trip that I never experienced the extreme depression that can happen when going cold turkey. I had tried to wean myself off before, but it didn't go well - I would not try it again without involving my doctor.
When people recommend therapy and meds, they often are not just being flippant or repeating a cliche but are speaking from personal experience. If nothing at all is working for you and you are not satisfied with the status quo, maybe you just need to give those suggestions more of a chance.
I totally get where you're coming from CCL. I have a friend who has problems with anxiety and situational depression. She was crippled by it for awhile and sought comfort in pill form. I tried to encourage her for years to get out of the house and get a job.....any job. She finally took my advice and she admitted that that was indeed the best thing for her. She seems much happier, even though she is still living in a nightmare.
FYI, there is nothing wrong with telling someone to get therapy. I've been to therapy and it's great.
I've been to therapy and, although I got along well with the therapist, he ultimately had nothing to offer. Careful when you push your own experiences as though they must necessarily apply in all situations.
Why is it that when someone expresses something perceived as 'negative', many people will tell them they need therapy or medication?
That's the problem in America especially. The tendency to just push people off with pills and therapy, rather than consider that they might actually be correct.
It is true that many forms of depression can be helped with medication and therapy. But in other cases, there may be no chemical imbalance - the individual might have a legitimate complaint or point.
You cannot cure situational or existential depression with pills. Therapy only goes so far and may even make matters worse for people who've simply been unlucky in life due to genetics, upbringing or social / economic status. I believe that many people are miserable because they're not really being themselves and they're repressing something. Societal pressure forces us to lead lives that we might secretly despise, but we tell ourselves that life is good and most people can probably fake it.
But if you question why life is the way it is or express sadness that the human race behaves a certain way, most people will make you feel like there's something wrong with you for simply being 'unplugged' and able to see reality for what it is. It could be argued thar you'd have to be mentally out of whack to be happy in the face of so many attrocities commuted by the human race and so much inequality in the world.
Let's be careful when we so candidly tell people to see a therapist or take pills because we *assume* that they're mentally ill, especially if we are not trained mental health professionals. Some people simply want to be heard. Many of us are just lonely and therapists are not meant to be substitutes for human connections.
Why do you keep combining taking pills with getting therapy, like you can't do one without the other? You do realize counselors and psychologists can't even prescribe pills, right? I can't answer your question in general terms, only as applies to you. In your post on the other thread, you said you despise life, are miserably lonely, depressed, have nothing to look forward to, etc. To suggest therapy for someone in obvious psychological pain is not out of line. There is no shame in therapy (nor pills for that matter, but again they do not come as a package, they are two different disciplines).
What about the suggestion bothers you? Don't you want to do whatever you can try to get better and be happy in life? You seem to feel it suggests some sort of weakness, I feel it's actually the opposite.
No one thinks you're mentally ill. Psychologists are for sane people with temporary issues they need help and guidance with, psychiatrists are for mentally ill people. No one that I saw suggested you needed a psychiatrist.
Many. The following three excerpts are from 2015,2015 & 2013 but in no way are an accurate indication of the scope. For example, these are 3 out of 6 that appear within 3 pages of a DOJ search under "pharmaceutical" & "kickbacks" that I was referencing on earlier posts. I had not even changed my search terms to reflect "physician" yet:
"CHICAGO — A long-time Chicago psychiatrist pleaded guilty today to a federal crime for receiving illegal kickbacks and benefits totaling nearly $600,000 from pharmaceutical companies in exchange for regularly prescribing the anti-psychotic drug clozapine to his patients."
"United States Attorney Andrew M. Luger today announced the indictment of ELENA LEV POLUKHIN, 58, for writing prescriptions for pain medication as part of a health care fraud conspiracy in which POLUKHIN received kickbacks from Best Aid Pharmacy."
"NEWARK, N.J. – Three New Jersey doctors admitted today they accepted tens of thousands of dollars in bribes from Parsippany, N.J.-based Biodiagnostic Laboratory Services LLC (BLS) as part of a long-running scheme operated by the lab, its president, and numerous associates, U.S. Attorney Paul J. Fishman announced."
And I forgot to mention that as others have quite rightly pointed out, therapy isn't cheap and often and is either not covered at all or only partially covered.
Ironically, the people that need therapy the most are often the people that can't afford it. It's a joke.
Not a joke. There are low cost options and many therapists offer a sliding scale.
Perhaps if someone is just wanting to rant or pretend they are talking to a close friend or whatever is the case, they should clearly preface (and probably end) their post by saying just that.
People here mean well but many have been criticized for offering advice so if someone didn't make the aforementioned completely clear at the outset (and even then some won't read it before responding anyway - try not to take that personally) and/or they don't want to be seen as giving 'medical' advice (which they are NOT qualified to do) they may (as I know I have) have said that if there is indeed a problem, usually the best course of action is first to seek qualified medical advice about how to fix it. Saying that seeing a therapist might be a wise idea is akin to that, especially if the OP doesn't mention that they already have. I can't say I have ever seen anyone say someone absolutely MUST take pills - usually it seems that most say something like (if they mention it at all) 'xxx helped me' or 'perhaps a doctor could prescribe something that would help'.
Maybe we need a forum where people who don't want advice of any kind are welcome to just sound off about their daily frustrations and no one will say a word back to them. Each thread can just be closed as soon as it opens to prevent unwanted advice.
As someone said - you never have to take pills if you don't want to. If a doctor tells you that you must, find another doctor. There are many out there!
The first "pill" i tried for my moderate depression was the herb St. John's Wort - you have to find a good brand with the correct amount of the main ingredient in it, and take 3/day for 4 weeks or so to see an affect. I believe in herbs, sunshine, and activity - and being alone and reading, and reflection. Believe me. I worked for big pharma and i don't push pills (big pharma is out for MONEY) - but if you DO have a disease, you need them. Mental illness is like any other disease and needs medication. My sister has cancer and doesnt try to heal herself naturally, though i know people who do. She takes poison chemo, has on and off for over 20 years, and it keeps her alive - and she lives well and travels the world.
I had to leave the St. John's Wort behind when depression kept me in bed and suicidal. You can do therapy without meds. Or meds without therapy. Only you know what is best. But if anyone is "unhappy," i feel they should try any solutions that won't hurt them more than help them. Life is short. This is it. You better find something to enjoy each day. Feel the moment.
(Edited to add: I'm not talking to just one person, or calling anyone ill. I just believe in living and feeling the best you can. Every day is not going to be great, but i went thru enough bad ones to know what feels good. People are allowed to be mad, sad, hurt, pissed off - i'm real pissed of at the world right now!)
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