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I'm 33. Ten years ago, old age was "something that happens to other people". Now, it's more of something I know will come eventually. Perhaps that's what gives me empathy toward the elderly. Granted, I live an active lifestyle, with weightlifting, dancing, and stuff. But for starters, I can no longer stay up until 4:00 AM, at least not without being non-functional next day. Although a few years ago on a cruise, I did just that, and got through next day like a trooper.
If you think about it, little kids and elderly persons have quite a few traits in common. I'm not bashing either demographic here, just stating true, possibly sad, facts. Anyway, for example:
* They can be very fussy about their meals.
* They have trouble sleeping through the night.
* They often forget simple things.
* They have short attention spans.
* They can't always follow instructions.
* They enjoy it when you read books to them.
* They can sometimes tell you insightful things.
* Etc.
And yet, I feel a much easier time feeling compassion and empathizing with elderly persons than with little kids, when either person is acting difficult or erratic. In case of an elderly person, it could be anything: from mundane issues like complaining about the texture of their pasta dish, to truly troublesome ones like screaming "I don't want to go to Germany!" in the middle of the night. I'd feel compelled to try to address the issue, like serve them a dish with a different sauce in the former case, or try to calmly talk to them and put up an American flag in their room in the latter case.
But when a little kid is acting difficult or erratic, I often have trouble feeling compassion or empathy. No, I don't want to hit/spank them or anything. But I do find myself thinking: "Somebody needs a strong authority figure to discipline them." With "discipline" being anything to set them straight without crossing ethical boundaries. Of course, if an issue can be quickly rectified, like a certain object casting a scary shadow, I'd fix it. Other than that, I just can't feel it . I just don't feel like I'm equipped to be a parent, and for everyone's sake, choose to be childfree.
I'm also more willing to donate time or money to charities helping the elderly than those helping little kids. Is it bad of me to feel that way? Or would you say it's a mental backlash on my part, to the American society being overwhelmingly child-focused? For a point of reference to the above paragraphs, I'm male, early 30's.
I've worked with the elderly throughout my entire career (ophthalmology). Old people have a lot of problems with their eyes, and I'm happy to help them with these. I have a lot of patience with the elderly and disabled, and unfortunately I don't know how to work with kids. The only eye doctor job I've been fired from was from a pediatric ophthalmologist. I worked there a few months and spend the entire time, feeling hopelessly lost, confused, and unsure how to get the kids to do what I wanted them to do. When they finally let me go, I was relieved. With old/disabled people, I'm a natural. I love them, and I hope they love me. I've been told by them and their kids that they appreciate my kind and patient attitude. It takes all types, OP. There are many people in the world to fill all the different needs of others.
If you think about it, little kids and elderly persons have quite a few traits in common. I'm not bashing either demographic here, just stating true, possibly sad, facts. Anyway, for example:
* They can be very fussy about their meals.
* They have trouble sleeping through the night.
* They often forget simple things.
* They have short attention spans.
* They can't always follow instructions.
* They enjoy it when you read books to them.
* They can sometimes tell you insightful things.
* Etc.
And yet, I feel a much easier time feeling compassion and empathizing with elderly persons than with little kids, when either person is acting difficult or erratic. In case of an elderly person, it could be anything: from mundane issues like complaining about the texture of their pasta dish, to truly troublesome ones like screaming "I don't want to go to Germany!" in the middle of the night. I'd feel compelled to try to address the issue, like serve them a dish with a different sauce in the former case, or try to calmly talk to them and put up an American flag in their room in the latter case.
But when a little kid is acting difficult or erratic, I often have trouble feeling compassion or empathy. No, I don't want to hit/spank them or anything. But I do find myself thinking: "Somebody needs a strong authority figure to discipline them." With "discipline" being anything to set them straight without crossing ethical boundaries. Of course, if an issue can be quickly rectified, like a certain object casting a scary shadow, I'd fix it. Other than that, I just can't feel it . I just don't feel like I'm equipped to be a parent, and for everyone's sake, choose to be childfree.
I'm also more willing to donate time or money to charities helping the elderly than those helping little kids. Is it bad of me to feel that way? Or would you say it's a mental backlash on my part, to the American society being overwhelmingly child-focused? For a point of reference to the above paragraphs, I'm male, early 30's.
No, it's not bad at all. I'm the same way. You've just had different life experiences that probably formed this outlook. There is room and NEED for all kinds of people in this world. Some people bend over backwards for kids but have NO patience for the elderly gentleman standing in line at the grocery store who is taking a long time to write a check because his hands are shaking. See.... there is a NEED for all kinds of people whose compassion levels tend to be more for certain types of people.
If you think about it, little kids and elderly persons have quite a few traits in common. I'm not bashing either demographic here, just stating true, possibly sad, facts. Anyway, for example:
* They can be very fussy about their meals.
* They have trouble sleeping through the night.
* They often forget simple things.
* They have short attention spans.
* They can't always follow instructions.
* They enjoy it when you read books to them.
* They can sometimes tell you insightful things.
* Etc.
73 and don't have any of the first five ... "traits"... yet. Not sure if an oldie is any more insightful than a younger individual and I'd be seriously insulted if someone read me a book. Shucks, I was slightly miffed last summer when a 20-ish guy on the parking lot tried to help me load groceries into the bed of the pickup. There I was feeling hale and hearty and semi buff in a tight tank top and this kid comes along ....
Do have creaky knees that had to be drained in January, but they just started flaring up in November.
73 and don't have any of the first five ... "traits"... yet. Not sure if an oldie is any more insightful than a younger individual and I'd be seriously insulted if someone read me a book. Shucks, I was slightly miffed last summer when a 20-ish guy on the parking lot tried to help me load groceries into the bed of the pickup. There I was feeling hale and hearty and semi buff in a tight tank top and this kid comes along ....
I was generalizing a little bit. If you're feeling strong and healthy at 73, it's very good. But some people may not be so lucky. Plus, I was talking about behavioral traits that little kids and elderly persons sometimes have in common. The parking lot guy was out of line in your case. It's nice to offer to help, but not so much to just start doing it.
I'm 33. Ten years ago, old age was "something that happens to other people". Now, it's more of something I know will come eventually. Perhaps that's what gives me empathy toward the elderly. Granted, I live an active lifestyle, with weightlifting, dancing, and stuff. But for starters, I can no longer stay up until 4:00 AM, at least not without being non-functional next day. Although a few years ago on a cruise, I did just that, and got through next day like a trooper.
I feel the same, turning 31 this year. I am so much slower than I used to be even at 25. Cannot drink, or stay up late, or go without eating for too long. Essentially, the body no longer stands up to abuses as much as before.
However, the terms I am coming to is not my own age but aging of relatives that have always been strong and healthy while I was growing up. My grandfather is turning 80 and starting to slow down. Thinking of the future includes preparing myself for the needs of elderly family.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Calvert Hall '62
73 and don't have any of the first five ... "traits"... yet. Not sure if an oldie is any more insightful than a younger individual and I'd be seriously insulted if someone read me a book. Shucks, I was slightly miffed last summer when a 20-ish guy on the parking lot tried to help me load groceries into the bed of the pickup. There I was feeling hale and hearty and semi buff in a tight tank top and this kid comes along ....
Do have creaky knees that had to be drained in January, but they just started flaring up in November.
In my view, traits described usually belong to people in their 90s, having dementia or some age-related mental handicap. Some 70 year olds I know have more energy than I do!
NO, it is not bad to care more for the elderly than children!! Heck no. Stop thinking like that. You care for whomever you want, not because society expects you to. The elderly need to be cared for as well. It's like a person feeling guilty because they care more for the homeless than children?? No!
In my view, traits described usually belong to people in their 90s, having dementia or some age-related mental handicap. Some 70 year olds I know have more energy than I do!
That's kind of what I meant: people of an advanced age with declining health. It's a different situation with relatively strong, healthy 70-year-olds. The latter demographic probably wouldn't really need compassion in the true sense, just respect and understanding. I once remember swing dancing with someone who looked about 60; it was a fast song, and she was keeping up with me as well as most women my age. Even so, I still didn't spin her around as fast as I did when I danced with a 20-something woman.
If you think about it, little kids and elderly persons have quite a few traits in common. I'm not bashing either demographic here, just stating true, possibly sad, facts. Anyway, for example:
* They can be very fussy about their meals.
* They have trouble sleeping through the night.
* They often forget simple things.
* They have short attention spans.
* They can't always follow instructions.
* They enjoy it when you read books to them.
* They can sometimes tell you insightful things.
* Etc.
And yet, I feel a much easier time feeling compassion and empathizing with elderly persons than with little kids, when either person is acting difficult or erratic. In case of an elderly person, it could be anything: from mundane issues like complaining about the texture of their pasta dish, to truly troublesome ones like screaming "I don't want to go to Germany!" in the middle of the night. I'd feel compelled to try to address the issue, like serve them a dish with a different sauce in the former case, or try to calmly talk to them and put up an American flag in their room in the latter case.
But when a little kid is acting difficult or erratic, I often have trouble feeling compassion or empathy. No, I don't want to hit/spank them or anything. But I do find myself thinking: "Somebody needs a strong authority figure to discipline them." With "discipline" being anything to set them straight without crossing ethical boundaries. Of course, if an issue can be quickly rectified, like a certain object casting a scary shadow, I'd fix it. Other than that, I just can't feel it . I just don't feel like I'm equipped to be a parent, and for everyone's sake, choose to be childfree.
I'm also more willing to donate time or money to charities helping the elderly than those helping little kids. Is it bad of me to feel that way? Or would you say it's a mental backlash on my part, to the American society being overwhelmingly child-focused? For a point of reference to the above paragraphs, I'm male, early 30's.
I dunno. I think I have far more empathy for kids. Probably because I have had a lot more exposure to them, than to elderly folks that need care. I mean, there's my parents, but I definitely find them to be far more frustrating to deal with, than kids have ever been.
I wasn't aware we had to choose who gets more of our empathy, or who we like more.
I don't see, "I'm willing to do things for seniors and/or senior causes" and "I'm willing to do things for youth and/or youth causes, " as mutually exclusive.
I won't even get into the weirdness of the asterisk-denoted items in your list of "shared characteristics of the young and the elderly." Just...wow. Where to start...I guess there is an implicit assumption that seniors are feeble.
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in the middle of the night. I'd feel compelled to try to address the issue, like serve them a dish with a different sauce in the former case, or try to calmly talk to them and put up an American flag in their room in the latter case.
. I just don't feel like I'm equipped to be a parent, and for everyone's sake, choose to be childfree.
Perhaps that is weird...
