Why are people given opposite advice so often? (counselor, college, problems)

[hellob]

Examples
1- stand up for yourself
2- let it go

1- ask/take what you want
2- don't say anything, someone else would jump at the chance you have

1- don't settle
2- don't be so picky

1- save for old age
2- you only live once

1- be adventurous
2- don't be risky

1- don't worry about what others think of you
2- if you're not likable you won't get far

Etc

No wonder people are confused.

[Lovehound]

This is the Psychology forum area. The question you missed is either implied, inferred, or not even addressed. "Do I have a psychological problem?" and "I'm unhappy, what should I do?" (Never mind voyeur posts about other people. When we Psychs do that, we are just jerking chains. Or like me when I want to foment discussions.)

Maybe sometimes the topics are just posted by people who crave attention...

Simple fact, as supported by many psychological surveys: "One out of three persons will at some point in their life face psychological problems that would benefit from professional psychological intervention." (Yeah, okay, the psychs ask the questions, run the studies, and surprise, surprise, they are themselves the solution. Yet I trust the statistic, in part because I minored in psych in college... or did I minor in being brainwashed by my psych professors?)

But the real question (IMO) in all Psych forum area posts involve the OP having problems, and like Laurie Anderson's song "Only An Expert" implies, if you have a problem you need an expert. In a bizarre departure from my usual posting style I'll quote the lyrics at the end of my post, because what? They amuse me? They really address the nature of problems? Or address the nature of experts? No, all of the above.

Never the less, there is a dichotomy in your post. There are no answers to your question, or if there are they depend on the circumstances. Different OP, different replies, different solutions... Not surprising that there are so many answers. In fact that illustrates a problem we have in society today: more solutions than problems. More opinions than facts. But only an expert can solve your problem. The biggest existential question of all is who is the expert?

Originally Posted by Lyrics from Laurie Anderson in "Only An Expert"

Now only an expert can deal with the problem,
Because half the problem is seeing the problem.
And only an expert can deal with the problem.
Only an expert can deal with the problem.

So if there's no expert dealing with the problem,
It's really actually twice the problem.
Cause only an expert can deal with the problem,
Only an expert can deal with the problem.

Now in America we like solutions.
We like solutions to problems.
And there's so many companies that offer solutions...
Companies with names like Pet Solution.
The Hair Solution. The Debt Solution. The World Solution. The Sushi Solution.
Companies with experts ready to solve the problems.
Cause only an expert can see there's a problem,
And only an expert can deal with the problem.
Only an expert can deal with the problem.

Now let's say you're invited to be on Oprah,
And you don't have a problem.
But you want to go on the show, so you need a problem.
So you invent a problem.
But if you're not an expert in problems,
You're probably not going to invent a very plausible problem.
And so you're probably going to get nailed.
You're going to get exposed.
You're going to have to bow down and apologize,
And beg for the public's forgiveness.
Cause only an expert can see there's a problem,
And only an expert can deal with the problem.
Only an expert can deal with the problem.

Now on these shows, the shows that try to solve your problems,
The big question is always How can I get control?
How can I take control?
But don't forget this is a question for the regular viewer.
The person who's barely getting by.
The person who's watching shows about people with problems.
The person who's part of the 60% of the U.S. population...
1.3 weeks away, 1.3 pay checks away from homelessness.
In other words, a person with problems.
So when experts say, Lets get to the root of the problem.
Lets take control of the problem.
So if you take control of the problem you can solve the problem.
Now often this doesn't work at all because the situation is completely out of control.
Cause only an expert can deal with the problem,
Only an expert can deal with the problem,
Only an expert can deal with the problem.

So who are these experts?
Experts are usually self-appointed people or elected officials,
Or people skilled in sales techniques, trained or self-taught,
To focus on things that might be identified as problems.
Now sometimes these things are not actually problems.
But the expert is someone who studies the problem,
And tries to solve the problem.
The expert is someone who carries malpractice insurance.
Because often the solution becomes the problem.
Cause only an expert can deal with the problem,
Only an expert can deal with the problem,
Only an expert can deal with the problem.

Now sometimes experts look for weapons.
And sometimes they look everywhere for weapons.
And sometimes when they don't find any weapons,
Sometimes other experts say, If you haven't found any weapons,
It doesn't mean there are no weapons.
And other experts looking for weapons find things like cleaning fluids.
And refrigerator rods. And small magnets. And they say,
These things may look like common objects to you,
But in our opinion, they could be weapons.
Or they could be used to make weapons.
Or they could be used to ship weapons.
Or to store weapons.
Cause only an expert can see they might be weapons,
And only an expert can see they might be problems.
Cause only an expert can deal with the problem,
Only an expert can deal with the problem,
Only an expert can deal with the problem.
.
And sometimes, if it's really really really hot.
And it's July in January.
And there's no more snow and huge waves are wiping out cities.
And hurricanes are everywhere.
And everyone knows it's a problem.
But if some of the experts say it's no problem,
And other experts claim its no problem,
Or explain why it's no problem.
Then it's simply not a problem.
But when an expert says it's a problem,
And makes a movie and wins an Oscar about the problem,
Then all the other experts have to agree that it is most likely a problem.
Cause only an expert can deal with the problem,
Only an expert can deal with the problem,
Only an expert can deal with the problem.

And even though a county can invade another country.
And flatten it. And ruin it. And create havoc and civil war in that other country.
If the experts say that it's not a problem,
And everyone agrees that they're experts good at seeing problems,
Then invading that country is simply not a problem.
And if a country tortures people,
And holds citizens without cause or trial and sets up military tribunals,
This is also not a problem.
Unless there's an expert who says its the beginning of a problem.
Cause only an expert can deal with the problem,
Only an expert can deal with the problem,
Only an expert can deal with the problem.

Only an expert can see there's a problem.
And seeing the problem is half the problem,
And only an expert can deal with the problem.
Only an expert can deal with the problem.

I hope you are amused by the lyrics of one of my favorite social commentary songs.

[hellob]

Now I'm more confused, lol. I know it's a psych forum and I thought the question seems implied but I can see how it's not clear.
My question is when people hear all types of opposite advice, how do you know what is right, psychologically speaking?
I'll just google it.

[Lovehound]

Originally Posted by hellob

My question is when people hear all types of opposite advice, how do you know what is right, psychologically speaking?

You have to think for yourself. If you have a psychological problem, all forum members can do is offer suggestions. It's up to you to consider them, research if you wish.

The best advice of all is to seek professional counseling. Then you have an expert opinion. You also have the option of changing counselors as often as you like until you find the right one.

Forums are for chatting, for entertainment, sometimes for information both good and bad. Even if we have any members with Psy.D degrees they would not be able to diagnose anybody merely based upon forum posts. In fact my bet is the last thing any Psy.D would want to do is to post in C-D's Psychology area, although some might read the section for entertainment.

[hellob]

I don't need counseling. I was just curious. Thank you for the information.