Do therapists really help you overcome your patterns? (blames, accuracy, people)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Nope, there are job listings for unlicensed therapy positions in some very surprising venues. I know there are lots of qualifications you CAN get, but as long as you say you're unlicensed, there's nothing stopping you practicing "therapy" if you can find someone to give you money for it. It's how people end up with the idea that therapy is crap and of no help, and the reason I said to ask for a real professional rather than taking what you get, like some student or volunteer.
That's a given in any field. Anyone can call themselves a "preacher," too, or a chef or a teacher, but it's up to the consumer to research the provider and be sure that what they are paying for is what they wanted.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist
If the patient has to fix themselves on their own, and the therapist just sits there and says "I see", then what's the point of therapy? In which case, isn't there another, most cost-effective way to do it? Like some online forum, where like-minded people read and post comments, to facilitate information exchange?
A person could still do the same thing on a forum, as had been evidenced here on CD thousands of times: well-meaning people spend time giving their advice but the person still could ignore it.
Besides, an online forum isn't ONLY going to be full of "like-minded people," and there will be a percentage of people like yourself who obviously had a horrible experience with therapy whose negative influence will steer people AWAY from getting real help they need.
But simply "fixing yourself" isn't REALLY how therapy works anyway, and good therapists don't actually just sit there and say, "I see." Yes, you do have to do the work and make the actual mental and behavioral changes in order to see results, but without the guidance of a trained pro, a person who is afflicted can't make those changes on their own.
So it seems I have finally found a therapist I click with. We had a small chat on the phone about a week ago and she was very insightful. I absolutely felt understood.
I had already attended therapy when I was in college a few years back and it was bad. The (male) therapist said I was flirting with him (which I was not), focused on my so-called 'privileged' background and even told me I was lying about my childhood abuse (at which point, I stopped the sessions since it was pointless to talk to someone who didn't believe me when all of my core issues stem from this pain).
This time around, I'm seeking professional help with a therapist who seems highly qualified and I'm paying the proportionate price. I really want this to work for me.
Have you ever successfully undergone therapy? How long does it take to finally see progress? How is the progress noticed?
Good for you for recognizing that first therapist was not only biased, but certainly not appropriate for your needs.
Yes, therapy can literally save your life, it did mine many years ago as an abused wife.
Be open minded to the part we play at times, unwittingly to our own abuses. Of course, if yours is childhood abuse, you are not responsible on any level.
It helps to have someone help you maneuver the many levels that effect us when we have lived through abuse. It can by be empowering helping you learn coping skills, and ways to help yourself to grow stronger and feel emotionally healthy.
Nope. 95% of therapists suck. Very clueless people in it for the wrong reason.
People who believe this expect therapists to do their work for them. Therapy involves work on both sides. It's not a passive exercise in which you tell the therapist you problems and they fix it for you. You have to be willing to work on your problems yourself outside of therapy. The job of a therapist is to provide insight. Sure, some therapists aren't that great, or at least they aren't very helpful. I went into therapy with one guy for several sessions and all he did was ask me how I felt. He never offered me any suggestions on anything and I needed a more active approach.
Then I went to another lady. She was a licensed clinical social worker and she was very funny. She helped me a great deal, told me I wasn't crazy, and offered me suggestions on what to do. After eight sessions she told me she thought I was fine and sent me on my way. I still have fond thoughts of her. It is important to fine a therapist you like. If you and the therapist don't mesh, it is less likely to be successful.
You can help jump-start your therapy (and ultimately save yourself some money due to fewer sessions) by reading this book - Reinventing Your Life.
There are some questionnaires in the beginning which help you identify negative patterns in your life (patterns in thoughts, feelings, and behavior). Once you identify which core negative patterns are affecting your life, the book helps you develop insight into how the pattern got there, and what you can do to change it.
The book does not replace a good therapist, but it would greatly speed up the process, and help your therapist gain much quicker insight into your issues. You can bring the book in and show the therapist how you answered the questions, and then use that to start identifying the patterns in your life you want to work on in therapy.
The book is based on a model called Schema Therapy. I did a quick google search and found this nice PDF which describes how the therapy works. I would say the book is a bit easier to understand, but the PDF does give you an idea of what its all about.
Better than any therapist I ever went to in person, who usually just handed me dittos with similar exercises. I paid $100 dollars or more an hour for them.
There are "therapists" and then there are psychologists. The more severe the issues you want to sort out, the more professional the person you want helping you with it. Anyone can call themselves a therapist and yes, there are all kinds of social workers who mean well and can help some people with some things. Psychiatrist now = psychopharmacologist.
So I might not argue that 95% of therapists suck, but I doubt 95% of psychologists do. Even so, their job is not to solve your problems; it's to help you learn to do it.
That is just not true.
Often a psychologist (Psy.D degree) can do better than a psychiatrist (M.D. + psychology degree), or a counselor (M.A. degree) better than either.
What sucks are your statistics. More "professional" does not mean better. A good practitioner at one level may be better than a bad practitioner at a higher level.
The main difference between a psychologist and psychiatrist is a psychologist cannot prescribe drugs. In this case they work with your family doctor to get your meds.
While this sounds hyperbolic, it's not without merit. The therapists I've dealt with just did two things: (1) question me about my feelings, and then not believe my answers, and (2) parrot back everything like Captain Obvious, with no elaboration. I found that to be highly inane and simplistic, which got me thinking the therapist was a blithering idiot. Heck, I could have talked to myself and done the same things, and saved my parents the bills. (But wait! Talking to myself makes me insane, which means I need treatment, where the therapist would... never mind!) Mind you, I was 9 years old. The therapy tactics I got felt similar to the girl who goes into the basement when there's a killer in the house.
What you are describing sounds like a psychiatrist to me.
My therapist were as good as the efforts I put in to listening. Elaborating or simply stopping a poor behavior once I came to the conclusions.
You fix yourself. They won't do it for you. I had to take the ugly truths and cope with it...They simply encouraged "alternative" actions to regroup some unhealthy mindsets.
Best therapist I had ..Took the bull outta my chit and had me deal with it...When I was ready. Too often the client isn't really wanting to change and have the ugly reality of themselves or incidences...For that..No therapist is going to do.
That is exactly it. No mental healthcare professional can fix you. Best they can do is help you understand your problems and why you have them, to let you fix yourself.
I'll do a "worst therapist" story. left a bad relationship 100 yrs ago. Ex found the therapist & actually with met her on numerous occasions and she decided to discuss everything I ever said with him.
Ya so ummmm, it was the last therapist I ever had.
In the US the "therapist" would lose their license if the accusation were true.
What you are describing sounds like a psychiatrist to me.
I doubt it, lol. Psychiatrists are M.D.'s; they ask you questions to determine what you need, then prescribe you something (or not).
The therapist in question was a psychologist, at least that's how he described himself, when I naively asked "What type of doctor are you?" I'll give him credit for using a realistic job title, rather than the childish "feelings doctor" (I was 9), although he may have had a Master's degree, rather than a Psy.D. To my knowledge, he was not authorized to prescribe pills. Jury is still out on what they'd be if he were authorized.
Well MillennialUrbanist, I'll give you this: It's clear that in your case whatever treatment you got didn't work. You should sue them and ask for your money back.
The only thing you learned was a bad attitude.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Anyone can call themselves a "preacher," too, or a chef or a teacher, but it's up to the consumer to research the provider and be sure that what they are paying for is what they wanted.
left a bad relationship 100 yrs ago. Ex found the therapist & actually with met her on numerous occasions and she decided to discuss everything I ever said with him. 
