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I've managed to create a life very similar to the life I imagined for myself since I was 16 (I am now 23). I work at a nice job, have a steady paycheck, no debt, loving boyfriend/heading towards marriage, good friends, interests outside of work, involved in many church activities. But I'm still deeply unhappy. It's a struggle to get up in the morning. Should I seek the help of a therapist?
Set new goals, and then keep on setting new goals in perpetuity. There is no state of perpetual contentment if A, B, C,D is done, actually the surest way to get disappointed if not depressed is to achieve that goal you always dreamed about, all goals are petty and unsatisfying in themselves, but as long as you will keep on settING and achieving new goals you'll get sorta an ersatz. The other option is to consider an alternative philosophy as in "happiness is being" versus "happiness is doing".
That is a lot of goal attainment for such a tender age, and I have to wonder how much is/was from what others perhaps wanted for you, their expectations? Sure would not be unheard of starting with a 16 year old person, especially in certain kind of environments. Could this dread of getting out of bed, be a manifestation (subconscious even) of perhaps feeling smothered by what is, rather than a more true course that lies within? Think of it perhaps as a defense mechanism, where it is telling you to stop on the path you are, re-evaluate, consider a course correction... It is literally trying to physically stop you. Maybe also, you fear failure, as in what if I drop one of the balls I am juggling that I worked to achieve, how will others view this, how will I, what even is the failure I might fear? Does this make sense to you?
I write all of this with respect, care, without judgment; I have a daughter your age, and know she feels what I say above. In no way am I criticizing your station in life, but please understand much can and will change. What your life experience told you at 16, now seemingly realized at 23, is subject to change, and no shame or guilt need be attached. My gosh, your adult brain has hardly been in existence, and perhaps this "awakening" is trying to tell you something . Best of luck for your journey!
Start with a physician.
Focus on the far more common biological and hormonal issues underlying mood.
This. Also google Foods for Depression and Anxiety and add or eliminate them as needed. Get regular exercise, preferably outside in the sun, a good source of vitamin D. Or buy some vitamin D3 1000 IU and take one with breakfast and one with dinner. Get plenty of sleep.
I've managed to create a life very similar to the life I imagined for myself since I was 16 (I am now 23). I work at a nice job, have a steady paycheck, no debt, loving boyfriend/heading towards marriage, good friends, interests outside of work, involved in many church activities. But I'm still deeply unhappy. It's a struggle to get up in the morning. Should I seek the help of a therapist?
thanks.
Maybe you set the bar a little too low?
Most of us spend years trying to reach our goals. It's as much about the journey in reaching your goals as it is the goals themselves.
I would suggest you start coming up with other goals you would like to reach. If these goals were so easily attained, what else can you accomplish?
I've just turned 50, so my goals have changed. I'm now considering going for a pilot's license, traveling a bit more and learning more about woodworking. Twenty years ago, none of these three things would have made my top 10.
More info needed, OP. Why are you so unhappy? What's at the root of that, do you know? Are you bored, already? Any plans to move ahead in your career in the future--grad school, perhaps? A steady paycheck for many people isn't enough these days to cover all living expenses, especially going into the future, as rents climb and wages continue stagnating.
You're also fortunate that at your age, you and your bf feel fairly ready for marriage. That's pretty rare, too. Is this on solid ground? At 23, most people's lives and goals are a work in progress, not a done deal.
If you don't know what's wrong and why you're depressed, yes, definitely seek professional help.
Yes! Another possibility is that you are suffering a spiritual loneliness or emptiness caused by not being connected to or with your deepest self or soul so there are several ways to fix that. You could look into meditation practices, T.M., non-duality or Advaita, Buddhism, Yoga, Self esteem work, higher self subjects or google: who/what am I? and see where those concepts/teachings can take you. Yearning for a lost spiritual home or self can be quite painful yet totally misunderstood by Religions and conventional culture.
good luck
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. Best of luck for your journey!
