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Everyone is different.... perhaps you are a stronger person than most people who experience things like this. And the person who touched you inappropriately was a young boy around your age.. Maybe he was just generally curious about the female body and didn't realize his behavior was wrong... it seems like he wasn't trying to hurt you intentionally. That's a lot different than a grown man molesting you who knows what he is doing wrong, yet stills insists on hurting you for his own pleasure.
OMG, this makes me so angry. Stronger person because one is not traumatized? So all the women who are traumatized to the point of PTSD are little weaklings that couldn't take it? Clearly, you have never experienced rape or sexual assault.
And the whole "generally curious"and didn't know it was wrong? Then why did it take place at night, in secret, and not in full daylight in front of relatives?
As a rape survivor, I can tell you that women can be strong of character and still be debilitated by the trauma of sexual assault. It's not just the psychological, but the biological, the body one has to contend with.
Please get your facts straight and think of how your words demean others before speaking.
OMG, this makes me so angry. Stronger person because one is not traumatized? So all the women who are traumatized to the point of PTSD are little weaklings that couldn't take it? Clearly, you have never experienced rape or sexual assault.
Absolutely, that is how the word is used in this context.
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And the whole "generally curious"and didn't know it was wrong? Then why did it take place at night, in secret, and not in full daylight in front of relatives?
Knew he would get in trouble for it, yes. Knew it was "wrong", probably not so much.
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As a rape survivor, I can tell you that women can be strong of character and still be debilitated by the trauma of sexual assault. It's not just the psychological, but the biological, the body one has to contend with.
Nobody said "strong of character". The other poster said "strong".
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Please get your facts straight and think of how your words demean others before speaking.
Nope, that isn't how it works. If you choose to get offended over something that isn't intentionally offensive, that's on you.
I think it's because it was someone your own age, it didn't proceed to anything physically painful, and that you knew you could make it stop When you decided to tell, no one told you you were lying, the adults punished him, and they made sure it stopped, and that you were safe.
There is nothing wrong with you! You had a normal response, and thankfully, the adults around you handled it well.
I am just curious why we both handled our molestations differently? Why do you think I didn't experience any trauma like most sexual assault suirvivors do?
Maybe because he admitted to it, he was punished, and your grandmother explained it in a way that was comfortable.
When I was molested by my uncle at age 12, my father called him; he denied it, and said he was drunk. My dad didn't take it any further because it would cause a rift in the family.
Am I damaged because of it? I don't think so. If anything, it made me a stronger person. I knew then that I had to take care of myself, so I learned self-protection techniques, I read books on how to be taken seriously and how not to be a victim, etc.
I'm revisiting this to apologize for my sassiness and/or rudeness. It's uncalled for. Indeed, in my first post, I was angry, but the poster probably had not thought through all the implications of her statement. I stand by what I said, but not the way I said it. I do want to emphasize the reality of the trauma that victims of sexual assault go through. In my case, my healing after my rape (by my pastor, no less) was delayed because I tried to be "strong". I was tougher than that, I thought. To be a weakling and freak out around men or have panic attacks going to church. The last thing on this planet I ever want to be is a victim and in this case, I was, and I had to admit it. So for someone to allude that people who suffer after sexual assault are somehow less strong is deeply misguided, and all the psychological literature points to that. So, forgive the spirit in which I said these things, they come from a place of deep pain.
I'm revisiting this to apologize for my sassiness and/or rudeness. It's uncalled for. Indeed, in my first post, I was angry, but the poster probably had not thought through all the implications of her statement. I stand by what I said, but not the way I said it. I do want to emphasize the reality of the trauma that victims of sexual assault go through. In my case, my healing after my rape (by my pastor, no less) was delayed because I tried to be "strong". I was tougher than that, I thought. To be a weakling and freak out around men or have panic attacks going to church. The last thing on this planet I ever want to be is a victim and in this case, I was, and I had to admit it. So for someone to allude that people who suffer after sexual assault are somehow less strong is deeply misguided, and all the psychological literature points to that. So, forgive the spirit in which I said these things, they come from a place of deep pain.
Everyone is different.... perhaps you are a stronger person than most people who experience things like this. And the person who touched you inappropriately was a young boy around your age.. Maybe he was just generally curious about the female body and didn't realize his behavior was wrong... it seems like he wasn't trying to hurt you intentionally. That's a lot different than a grown man molesting you who knows what he is doing wrong, yet stills insists on hurting you for his own pleasure.
When I was around the age eight many years ago, my parents sent me live with my grandparents in Florida for the summer while they went traveling. I stayed at my grandparent's house most days, however I also spent a lot of time at my aunt and uncle's house, who lived nearby.
When I would stay at my aunt's house, sometimes her son(my cousin) would sneak into room at night and touch me. I was always aware when he was doing this to me but I would pretend I was still asleep. My cousin was around my age, he would touch chest area, private parts and kiss me as well while I was sleeping. I always felt icky when he did this, and this went on for almost the entire summer and every time I stayed at my Aunt's house. Sometimes my cousin would stay at grandparent's house as well and touch me at night there as well.
Finally towards the end of summer I got sick of it and told my Aunt over breakfast what her son was doing. My aunt looked shocked and decided to immediately take me back to my grandparent's house that day. I later found out my uncle gave my cousin a really bad whooping after he admitted that he did touch me at night. When I got back to my grandparent's house that day, my grandma just took me aside and told me that cousin was just a young boy and curious about the female form who didn't mean to harm me.
Years later after the incident, i still keep in contact with my cousin. We are still friendly and talk like nothing happened. In fact several months after the incident i saw over thanksgiving break and we played together like nothing happened. I never thought anything weird about this until i meet my friend Catherine. Catherine was molested by her older stepbrother for years and it only stopped when her mother divorced her stepfather. Catherine's step brother would also sneeek into her bed at night to touch her inappropriately. The experience has traumatized her greatly, she is abosuletly afraid of her stepbrother to the point where anytime she meets someone with same first name as him she freezes up. She has problems with her sexuality, self esteem and has visited several different therapist. I by contrast have never had any problems with my sexuality nor am I afraid of my cousin. If I had children, I would let cousin watch them.
I am just curious why we both handled our molestations differently? Why do you think I didn't experience any trauma like most sexual assault suirvivors do?
Every situation is different. When a person is molested repeatedly by an authority figure or a trust figure, for example, it can really F** up their perceptions of self-worth and "normal" expression of love & affection. Being touched by a peer over a brief period of time and having the situation resolved is an ENTIRELY different ball of wax. You probably didn't experience any trauma because your situation is completely unlike "most" sexual assault survivors, and making a comparison really does a disservice to everyone.
Last edited by Jenkay; 04-14-2017 at 11:25 AM..
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