"Nobody is responsible for your happiness"

[oldwoman]

Originally Posted by Burke_D

Idk, lots of good replies, but most seem to be driven by idealism.

In the end do average people really love themselves that much or do they mostly fall into a state of codependency with other people or even things?

The path of least resistance and all that...

I'm actually starting to think that the idea of the self actualized human is mostly a myth.

Agreed. But, it is not because it is unattainable or idealistic. It is simply that people are generally lazy and not overly introspective.

Path of least resistance indeed.

[Tulippsy]

I have been living with a severely depressed, brain-damaged person for three years and I can tell you that nothing external including other people, can provide lasting happiness. It doesn't matter how wonderful your life is, how fabulous your kids are, how much money you have, how loving your wife is, if you cannot appreciate the intangible, the beauty of simply being alive, you will never truly be happy. That is the case with my husband. For him, it's a result of organic damage to the brain. For others, it's their outlook on life or attitude. They don't understand it's their responsibility to make themselves happy.

Conversely, despite my almost intolerable situation (which is close to an end, thankfully), I am finding that it is possible to still experience joy, regardless of what's going on around you. It has taken a long time, but I'm getting there.

[NickofDiamonds]

There is a saying that goes, " Success is getting what you want, happiness is enjoying what you have."


But the basic truth is "Dust to dust"
Nothing lasts forever.

[2 rainbows]

Originally Posted by TabulaRasa

Of course, it's true that nobody is responsible for your happiness.

CONTEXT is everything. So when ? IS a human, or 2 ++ Responsible... for another's happiness ?

Well, it starts BEFORE birth, when 1 baby (or 2, or 4, or more) are developing... in those critical few months.
During this time,
each of us had much less *choices*: we were captive in that little bag. - iow ALL of mom's emotions & decisions are FELT by the Developing... person.

Truthfully, EVERY baby deserves the *BEST* emotions of especially mommy.

[2 rainbows]

Originally Posted by Burke_D

Idk, lots of good replies, but ...

I'm actually starting to think that the idea of the self actualized human is mostly a myth.

Um, think Again Burke.

I know of enough... Olympic champions. etc as "self-actualized": their soul Saved , Mind as positive as you can get, & Body healthy

Stop asking those who are not, and instead be-friend, & be mentored... by people who ARE "self-actualized"

[John_268]

Our life depends in a great deal on us, from our individuality and, accordingly, from our ideas, desires, persuasions, feelings. To be successful means to improve yourself every day and Mantastic Life program helps me to be the owner of my life.

[silibran]

I don't thinking seeking happiness is worthwhile. I think happiness is found in the moment, while you are busy doing other things. I think it is smart to try to improve your environment so you are not miserable, but seeking happiness doesn't work.

Happiness happens.

IMO, what keeps many of us (me included) from being happy is the destructive self talk we do in our heads. And I also think people don't know how to be thankful for small things--or big things many times. But you can't make yourself happy for very long. I believe happiness is state of mind that people who understand their blessings and who do not live in the past reach because of their mental habits.

So, IMO, no one is responsible for making me happy.