No expectation Altruism (woman, mom, thoughts, parent)

[2 rainbows]

All of us know the definition of altruism: "Altruism or selflessness is the principle of the practice of profound concern for welfare of others.
Pure altruism consists of sacrificing something for someone other than the self (like sacrificing time, energy or possessions) with >no expectation< of any compensation or benefits, either direct, or indirect such as receiving recognition for the selfless giving. You love because you love"

AND countless such examples benefit each of us, Yes personally. How so?
Even those who for now reject God, every human was blessed with a mother who allowed you as an Unborn baby to draw nourishment... to develop.

questions:
1. Have you altruistically acted selflessly, even once?
2. Have you done so, even at threat, of losing Tangibles... you highly value?
3. because of your Altruism, have you ever lost a job?
Generally, Insanity is doing the same thing, again & again, while expecting a different outcome.
4. What are the factors, if any, that would make you Stop being altruistic... ?

[harhar]

I don't want to destroy the spirit of the post, or hijack it, but I believe true Altruism is a paradox. Even in cases of ego death, there is still a self performing a self-less act. Logically intention doesn't matter.

I'm also interested in the "feeling" of Altruism. I would assume in most cases true Altruism would "hurt." Or that if it didn't hurt, that it either wasn't true Altruism, a "callus" over the spirit has formed due to repetition, or that biologically wires are crossed and it "comes easy," for the agent. Doing it for Karma would be against the spirit of the act.

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I've never been Altruistic, and again don't necessarily think it exists. If not under the direction or guidance of God, would Mother Theresa have done the things that she have done?

Personally the closest I've come to being Altruistic is caring for my son. I have never felt the need to deny myself for someone else's life. And yet although most likely biologically driven, I am drawn to sacrifice myself and my needs for the needs of my son. I would literally do anything for him and have a new found empathy for parents who have said similar things in the past.

That being said I think it's admirable to try and attain or become Altruistic, I just think it is very, very difficult or very hard to obtain without being a Monk or Nun.

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Now being selfless from time to time, I think is the cornerstone to a good ego check now and then. Though again, I think for most people it does benefit the giver. Someone who isn't naturally selfless should feel a sense of self worth after helping or taking time out of their day. Again repetition might quell that ironic euphoric feeling of helping someone else, but then I would assume that then that same person would then go off and try to one-up their previous accomplishment and try to help even more people.

And so I guess the point is, at least how I see it, is that Altruism isn't the only way to help people. Or that there doesn't necessarily have to be a denial of the self in order to help others. A lot of people decry capitalism and self-interest because it is about the self. However if we cultivate just a bit of selflessness, or at the very least awareness of our social contracts, you have people like Bill Gates who with their foundations have helped many, many people without having to necessarily be Altruistic. Their success has allowed them to help many more people in the long run.

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All of that being said I can't really answer those questions. They aren't either/or things. Meaning I have acted against my short term interests, while accepting that they may help me in the future. Or that it would benefit my wife if I gave up a certain behavior. I have taken in animals, but some are still my pets. I have given money and time to certain organizations and people without any apparent benefit, but I don't do that often.

There's nothing stopping me from being more selfless other than the lack of time and the number of personal interests I have currently. Right now raising my almost 8 month old son is taking up a majority of my time, and so when I have free time, I'll exercise, or lounge for a half-hour and do it all again the next day.

[2 rainbows]

Thank you ! for that very l.o.n.g. response, and your considerable thoughts stated in your response.
You have some very different ways of thinking about the characteristic nature of Altruism... AND yet,
your response here, is sort of altruistic because you spent the time here, instead of elsewhere,
to share... especially re Facilitating the healthy development of your baby... so Thank you again!

[Sassybluesy]

I've given for various causes, and I've given just because someone needed help, and I've given because I love. And I've given for a greater cause.


But I have some difficulty with the concept of altruism. Is it truly selfless, when it makes me happy to make someone else happy?


I'm not trying to sound like a goody two shoes...I imagine most of us 'give' in one way or another without expecting something back...but then again...is expecting the recipient to be happy in return really selfless? When we are biologically driven to sacrifice ourselves for our children, is it truly selfless, or is it an innate desire for our genetics to continue?


And I don't even really think true altruism is possible. Not even Jesus was TRULY altruistic, because he died out of love for his fellow man.

[Cliksder]

I gave a significant amount of money to a woman begging in the streets once. I went with her to the store to make sure she would actually use the money to buy diapers, baby food etc. like she claimed she needed for her children. I also gave her my phone number and told her to call if she ever had an emergency even though I knew she would never call.

I am still not sure why I did it. I guess I felt bad for the children she claimed she had. She seemed genuine, too. I don't see how I got anything out of it. In fact, I felt quite weird later on, and the few people I told seriously thought I had been absolutely naive and stupid.

Edit: I think small acts of altruism are quite normal and just being a decent human being. They always make me feel good. The example I gave above does not fall into this category, though.

[2 rainbows]

Originally Posted by Sassybluesy

And I don't even really think true altruism is possible. Not even Jesus was TRULY altruistic, because he died out of love for his fellow man.

This being the psychology forum, too many would throw a fit if we Quoted (but maybe one time) scripture..., Yet
your comment stat reminded me of "I have loved you just as the Father has loved me. You must go on living in my love. I have told you this so that you can share my joy, and your happiness may be complete. This is my commandment: >that you love each other as I have loved you.< There is no greater love than this—that a man should lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I tell you to do. I shall not call you servants any longer, for a servant does not share his master’s confidence. No, I call you friends"

Jesus was the epitome, or most perfect example of Altruism. How so?
Jesus willingly gave ALL of his mortality - while expecting nothing in return for it - so that each of us can *enjoy LIFE & this forever...*

Originally Posted by Sassybluesy

I've given for various causes, and I've given just because someone needed help, and I've given because I love. And I've given for a greater cause.

Thank you for giving... , while at the same time helping yourself feel good...

Originally Posted by Sassybluesy

But I have some difficulty with the concept of altruism. Is it truly selfless, when it makes me happy to make someone else happy?

When you help... someone else be happy even in one moment, & then for longer periods, like a HAPPY-habit , & then help them generalize... these habits in their Lifestyle, - while at the same time you too are happy, it is win-win.

Keep going. You are doing much good!

[jonesg]

Originally Posted by Sassybluesy

And I don't even really think true altruism is possible. Not even Jesus was TRULY altruistic, because he died out of love for his fellow man.

That is a contradiction, no greater love can be found than to give your life so that others might be saved.

The soldier who throws his body on a grenade, knowing he is going to die, so that his buddies can live.
What sort of return does he expect, he doesn't ask.

[2 rainbows]

Originally Posted by jonesg

That is a contradiction, no greater love can be found than to give your life so that others might be saved.

The soldier who throws his body on a grenade, knowing he is going to die, so that his buddies can live.
What sort of return does he expect, he doesn't ask.

Beyond what I said about God/Jesus Christ, Thank you for bringing it back to human actions...

Several actions motivated me to start this discussion, & ask the questions I did. I'll share more later.

[ClaraC]

I can't believe there are many people who haven't done altruistic actions. Donate anonymously to a group, drop a $10 in a guitar case of a street musician, pick up a wallet in the parking lot and take it into the store and give it to the lost and found (with the cash still inside), run after a mom with a stroller and give her back the sock that fell off the baby, stop the car and take the turtle in the middle of the road to safety.

Hasn't everyone done at least that? We are social beings, and feeling good about helping each other out is the way we're designed. Most of us!

[Escort Rider]

There is a philosoophical issue about doing kind things for others because it makes us feel good when we do so. In other words, are we doing it for the others or for ourselves (since it makes us feel good)? I don't think it's important to resolve that issue, but I raise it just the same.

I am 73 and I do volunteer work in schools, reading aloud to 5th graders once a week and conducting lunch-time chess activities. I frequently go outside the "job description" by reaching out a helping hand. If I notice a child who seems always to be alone during lunch and recess, I reach out to that child. That has sometimes been successful in helping the child break out of his or her aloneness. At a minimum I notify the chld's teacher about my obersations. This makes me feel good and I do not hesitate to admit it.

So am I doing this for myself or for the other? I don't pretend to have the answer, but I see it as a win/win so perhaps the answer is not very important.