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Are you sure about that? Because your complaints about being "blasted" or "shamed" or what have you is straight out of sixth grade.
Grow up. It's great being an adult. You have to pay taxes. You (generally) have to hold a job. As such—you don't have time to give a damn what other people think about your bearded lizard unless it's illegal.
I recall a co-worker saying to me, "I'll admit it, 99% of having kids is hell, but the other 1% is priceless." I replied "Gee, with cats the percentages are just about reversed." I wear my decision to Never, Ever Have Kids, made at the age of 12 (I'm now 67), as a badge of honor. I have never regretted it for one nanosecond, nor did my late wife who had made the same decision at about the same age. It's obviously just my opinion, but in my observation my cats and dogs have given me considerably more pleasure, and considerably less trouble and grief, than most people get from their children. For that matter, I had three Beta fish who gave me more pleasure than most people seem to get from their children. When I see the interaction between most parents and their children, I'm typically thinking "Explain to me again why you decided to ruin your marriage and your life in this manner?" I've never actually had anyone challenge me about my decision to have pets and not children, or the extent to which I dote on my pets (I did have one secretary say "I want to die and be reincarnated as one of your cats"), but anyone who does is going to get an earful.
Everything you say is me, lol. In fact my father once said that if he believed in reincarnation, he'd come back as one of my dogs.
Being from the deep south, I don't consider 6 pets to be a LOT of pets. That's a handful, all right. But manageable, if people are pet people and have the money to care for them.
I also don't consider people having pets to have pets INSTEAD OF children. Children are no substitute for pets, and vice versa. Two totally different things (although both are objects of our affection).
People with kids often want everyone else to. Kids are expensive and come with a whole set of problems, not the least of which is interference with work. They could be jealous, in a way.
Not having kids is also not the norm, so it's natural for people to wonder about that.
There is a reason people have kids, which is that it is probably part of the animal preservation thing. Animals are driven biologically to have offspring. We're hardwired for it, probably. So it's a curiosity that someone doesn't follow what may be a natural urge.
Your family members may be jealous. Or they may really genuinely disapprove of your lifestyle. DON'T LISTEN TO THEM AND DON'T CHANGE FOR OTHERS. You will only make yourself miserable in the long run. I speak from experience. You must follow your own path.
Family. Can't live with 'em, can't live w/o 'em. Some of my family has criticized me off and on for decades. I feel it was coming from what they perceived to be turning my back on THEM in some way. But I had to do what I had to do. And am glad I didn't listen to them back them.
I recall a co-worker saying to me, "I'll admit it, 99% of having kids is hell, but the other 1% is priceless." I replied "Gee, with cats the percentages are just about reversed." I wear my decision to Never, Ever Have Kids, made at the age of 12 (I'm now 67), as a badge of honor. I have never regretted it for one nanosecond, nor did my late wife who had made the same decision at about the same age. It's obviously just my opinion, but in my observation my cats and dogs have given me considerably more pleasure, and considerably less trouble and grief, than most people get from their children. For that matter, I had three Beta fish who gave me more pleasure than most people seem to get from their children. When I see the interaction between most parents and their children, I'm typically thinking "Explain to me again why you decided to ruin your marriage and your life in this manner?" I've never actually had anyone challenge me about my decision to have pets and not children, or the extent to which I dote on my pets (I did have one secretary say "I want to die and be reincarnated as one of your cats"), but anyone who does is going to get an earful.
I would reverse that. There is simply no way, ever, that a dog or cat could ever come even remotely close to the joy that my son has brought me.
I tell people, "I'm happy with my dogs. They don't wreck the car, come home pregnant, talk back to me and they're happy to see me. They don't go to college. What's not to like?"
If the person persists and asks if I like kids, I am honest and tell them no, I don't. If I'm really in a mood, I will tell them that I would have thrown a baby out the window and be doing time.
That usually ends the conversation. If I feel like responding at all. If it's someone I'd rather not offend, I say something like "I respect children's need for attention and listening if I must be around them. But I'd rather not be around them."
And yet, I still get blasted by mean comments from a lot of people, those who never stepped foot into our home. Comments like, "wow, so you don't have a house for people to live in anymore?" Or "you have a zoo in there" or "what is wrong with you?" Even when we only had 1 cat at the time, these were the same comments received by the same people.
Many imply that we are hoarders, which I find to be such a disrespectful insult because we really do put in the time, money and effort to care for our pets. Our home is clean. We have more than enough space and room for the pets and anyone else who wants to stay over for a night. To be compared to people who compulsively collects animals while unable or refuse to provide the basic of care to their animals, I don't even know how to react without wanting to yell at that person.
The most hurtful part of it all, is that most of these mean comments come from most of my family, including my parents, who always taught me as a young child to care for my animals and to be responsible. Now, they are telling me to stop wasting my money on them because they are just that, animals.
When I had to put down my senior cat, the response I received was, "finally!" When I had to do it again with my bearded dragon, the response was, "why did you even take a lizard to the vet?"
With your friends and family, an identity statement is called for. Something like- "I am sorry you feel that way because this is who I am, and it hurts my feelings that you don't respect my choices. You have made it clear how you feel and I know that I can't change your mind about that, but I want to let you know that I am not comfortable being around people who treat me this way."
Other people- meh- who cares what they think? Many people simply aren't into animals or critters.
IMHO- you somehow are giving people the space to make these wholly unacceptable comments. Either be more selective what information you share with whom, or be willing to be firm in standing up for your choices, or- be willing to simply take the comments for what they are and blow them off.
OP - wish you were my neighbor. I'd be at your house a few times a week.
Projection of their own unhappy lives is why people get so judgy. You aren't hurting anyone.
I grew up with my dad breeding Persian cats so we had anywhere from 4 to 10 depending on litter size. Of course the kittens were gone after 8 weeks. The cats had their (own litter) room.
And a tropical fish store on one level in our house. Our house was bigger but big deal. All my friends liked to hang out at my house.
No one ever made a comment to our faces. This was the 60's, early 70's. Maybe I just grew up where people where politer or it was the times.
Just put one of these on your rear window and add in your pets
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