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But that's the point. You are approaching the question from a side where you have had the experience and you take it as granted for everyone or granted that everyone is like that.........and that's just not the case.
Let me try to put it this way: "It's like she missed the day when they were handing out the impulse to seek a mate.".
It's not like I ran away from the altar for I never got that close. No one has ever proposed to me. What is the point of "at least you can say you tried" when it is not in the programming in the first place?
Simply put, I exist in a sphere where seeking a mate, having children is just not part of it.......despite what the world wishes everyone to believe.
If you say so. But that is a pretty tricky idea pitch.
I regret lots of things ex not trying, having, do or saying etc.
But I am trying to make up for it now as best as I can.
It could be related to temperment.
Some people are just more fixed in their idea of what they want.
Others like me are not exactly 100% and just buzzing about trying to grab up as many experiences as time permits.
I usually do want everything. Every option and every experience.
This is proving to come with many challenges.
So back to the point of the thread. The answer to this question likely relates to how someone defines "health". It is too wide a spectrum.
Actually, can't this question be taken two ways? 1) Is having romantic relationships a function or outcome of being a "healthy" adult? And 2) Can a "healthy" adult remain so in the absence of romantic relationships?
Modern society in the U.S. these days is often not really conducive to meeting people to date or marry or to become friends with.
Urban sprawl with dependence upon automobiles is one cause, along with loss of community, a change in norms, geographic and spatial separations where walking is not the norm.
I'm amazed at the number of relationships I know about that are the product of online dating sites; almost all of them these days... And since I refuse to go that route, I guess I won't have a relationship...
Human sexuality, and sexual tastes and preferences vary widely. Abstinence is simply one of the choices. If abstinence is by your choice and you don't feel like you are missing anything, then there is no problem.
I would prefer to avoid the word "normal" and instead use the word "typical," in the sense that it is a statistical thing.
I agree with all of this.
What is normal for one person might not be normal for another. We are all wired differently. It would be disastrous for someone who did not want a close emotional relationship to be married.
If a person is happy being single and celibate, then I would imagine that is a normal state for him or her.
The Kinsey Reports are two books on human sexual behavior, Sexual Behavior in the Human Male (1948) and Sexual Behavior in the Human Female (1953), written by Alfred Kinsey, Paul Gebhard, Wardell Pomeroy and others and published by Saunders
This seminal work put to rest many preconceptions on human sexuality and began the modern era of scientific study of human sexuality. Many myths were—if you'll pardon the words—myth busted.
It's a simple fact that you just can't extrapolate how you feel about sex and project it onto others. Furthermore they put to rest the idea of "normality." Instead, people are just different. They fall into statistical groups but there is no right or wrong about human sexuality, there are no standards. People are simply different.
I have only a few things to add:
1. Our society decrees that sex with minors is prohibited because they are not sufficiently mature to make informed decisions. (The same applies to mentally defective persons.)
2. It is frowned upon to engage in sexual behavior that is likely to injure others or injure yourself. For example, it would be bad to engage in unprotected sex with a partner if you have AIDS and don't tell your partner about your condition.
There just isn't any "normal" sexuality. The best we have is statistical groups that describe how various people engage in sex. That's the prime take I got from the Kinsey reports.
Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere
The elderly are subject to declining health regardless; even immunity declines after about age 50 (in everyone). Now, if you had a study proving that the elderly with a lot of social interaction never got sick or died, you'd have something there!
The studies I quoted showed that lack of social interaction has negative effects on your health. The inverse is that an active social life will have positive effects on your health.
But to quote Jim Morrison, "Nobody gets out of here alive."
I'll consider myself lucky if I reach 120 years old!
Sanest and happiest guy I know is a dude who as far as his friends know is asexual. We've all known him 15 years or more and there has never been a hint of any kind of relationship in the past or present. He's in his early 60s now, and he is one of the most well-rounded and well-adjusted people I know. He's got this weird combo of DGAF, joyfulness and cynicism that is just a lot of fun. When I'm faced with large amounts of stress or strife, I often try to kind of channel him to get through it all.
Interestingly, I think a lot of people consider him to be a cold fish, but the loyalty and care he has demonstrated for his friends is really breathtaking when you step back and consider it. He has cared devotedly for multiple elderly people in his life, both family and nonfamily, who would otherwise have been forgotten about. And he pays attention to people - when I moved away, he immediately reached out to my best friend, who did not have as much of a social life with me gone, and they would watch a TV show they liked together every week, which eventually built out into a weekly get-together that he encouraged other friends to join in on.
I wouldn't conclude that someone is "asexual" simply because they've gone a long time enjoying celibacy. Many have had long marriages or relationships and then remain alone after that. For some, not just any warm body will do... They aren't beating the bushes to find the next one, but get on with their own lives, finding fulfillment in other ways. There has to be something in and about another person to make it worth their while. If that connection happens, great; they go with it. If it doesn't happen to happen, they're ok alone. That also describes me, and - to me - that's the healthiest way to be of all.
What is "normal"? For one person sex every day is normal, for another it's once a week, others once a month. Whatever makes the two people in the relationship happy is normal as far as I'm concerned. And yes we can be healthy without sex in our lives. I was widowed almost 7 years ago and the lack of sex bothered me for the first couple of years and then I got used to it just like everything else in life. Without TMI I can take care of myself if I need to. :-)
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