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I don't care how others spend their money, but don't blow your income on stuff you don't need and then perpetually complain that you're broke. I work with someone who smokes, drinks, wears expensive clothes, and takes incredible vacations. At least once a week she complains that she can't go out to lunch because she has no money, and way too often she gets calls from the bank about a late car payment or late mortgage payment.
Wouldn't care about any of that because it's her business, but she doesn't keep it to herself. I don't discuss my finances with anyone other than my husband, and I don't care to hear about hers.
Or don't blow your money on stuff you don't need if you are collecting welfare or any other form of government assistance. I think classes on money management should be mandatory for anyone receiving government aid and I think it should be taught in high school as well. It's time to start teaching kids real life skills.
"Just based on what little I know about the OP from this thread, I'm going to say that they are an INTJ or ISTJ."
Nailed it! (INTJ) And I pose these questions because I genuinely am curious what makes people tick, including myself.
Nice, I'm usually pretty good at guessing what people are. I'm the cousin of the INTJ, which is the INFJ. Studying people can be quite fascinating. For instance, I've always wondered why certain people are inclined to litter. To me that makes no sense. It's like pissing on the carpet, when you can just walk another 15 feet and use the toilet. This is just a guess based on no scientific data or anything, but I would be inclined to say that the majority of the barfly types that you made this thread about are indeed "ES" types. To me they come off as the biggest party animal and social butterfly types.
I've been living in low income senior apartment buildings for the last 3 1/2 years or so. I've noticed many of my neighbors doing what you describe.
My theory, is that it's a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy. I would be getting the same income or less as these neighbors, yet I had a vehicle and they didn't, I had a savings account and they didn't. They'd try to bum from me, and I learned to say, "Hey, I make the same amount of money as you - in fact, you probably get more income than I do, how much do you get each month?" Crickets.
But, each time I moved, to better my situation, my neighbors would lament about how they didn't have money to move. And if I started talking to them about how to budget so they could move - they'd all give me reasons why it would be impossible.
They want to believe they have no options, and they make sure they don't - self-fulfilling prophecy.
It's a willpower thing, too. Some are addicted to shopping, even if it's thrift stores, cigarettes, pot, drinking at the bars with friends who agree with them.
My guess, is this is driving you nuts because they hit on you to help support them - like buying their cigarettes or giving them rides, shopping for them, whatever. It's really irritating to have to keep saying no to them. But, I did find that the line that was the most effective was to say, "Hey, don't we make the same amount of money?" I found I didn't need to say anything beyond that. If you just feel the need to say one more thing, I suggest, "I got my own money problems."
I had a Canadian friend who would say, "Nope, that's not in my budget."
But, they basically believe they have no options, and make sure they don't, and hang out with people who agree with them about how the world has done them wrong, leaving them with no options.
So true. I remember sitting down with a friend who "couldn't afford to retire." I was like, "Do you need to eat out two or even three times a day? Do you need acrylic nails and a professional cut/color/perm? Must you buy new clothes every season? Do you have to lease a new car every two years? Is it necessary to take three trips a year?" Etc. The answer was that all were vital to life and couldn't be eliminated. So...she couldn't afford to retire and still can't. People know better than to try to hit me up, because I won't help them out, so it can't be that. I think stupidity just annoys me.
So true. I remember sitting down with a friend who "couldn't afford to retire." I was like, "Do you need to eat out two or even three times a day? Do you need acrylic nails and a professional cut/color/perm? Must you buy new clothes every season? Do you have to lease a new car every two years? Is it necessary to take three trips a year?" Etc. The answer was that all were vital to life and couldn't be eliminated. So...she couldn't afford to retire and still can't. People know better than to try to hit me up, because I won't help them out, so it can't be that. I think stupidity just annoys me.
Yep, and hearing them whine and then tell you they can't live without the things that make them unable to fix the thing they're whining about.
It gets really old listening to the whining, and never hearing any solutions.
But this isn't so much about financial irresponsibility (that's another rant for another day) as it is about these people's "social neediness." Or at least that's the part that annoys me more.
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