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I don't have a single friend who would treat me that way. And if someone did treat me that way, I wouldn't be spending much time with him/her.
Sounds like your friend-picker is broken, too.
Yeah unfortunately no matter what advice you offer it falls on deaf ears... friends that live for the here and now instead of thinking ahead... then get jealous/envious
I've removed 2 that I knew since middle school... 1 got himself a felony drug charge back in 09? Sold dope in college to be able to party like a rock star. The other got locked up from not paying child support. Has 4 kids 4 different women... eh what do I know. My advice fell on deaf ears...
But hey... I'm the 29 year old who comes off as a bitter 56 year old... I take that one as a compliment. Usually wisdom comes with age...
I don't find that believable. There are many women in NYC in various professions who aren't in a hurry to get married and have kids. Especially in the 20-something bracket, there aren't. There sure aren't on the West Coast, either. Women in the professions typically spend their 20's building their careers, or finishing grad school, or both. When the baby-making hormones kick in, IF they kick in (they don't, for some women) is usually in the 30's.
NYC no way no thanks. Used to go through all the boroughs and both Staten and Long Island, NYC was a no go zone for me. I lived in upstate NY I fit that hick from the sticks stereotype to a T down there... no chance.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
These, too, are key questions. How do you conduct your search? You may be looking for love in all the wrong places. Sure sounds like it.
Ideally I'd like to find someone who likes to raise hell on the weekends be that jet skis, quads, adrenaline inducing fun stuff. I hate sitting still and boredom.
Like someone else just posted, you seem bitter and are looking for validation on YOUR standards. I see a lot of contradiction in your first two statements compared to your later posts. It's ok to be self-centered and guarded, but it seems your "attitude" about life needs some adjustment or you will end up being a lonely individual.
Ideally I'd like to find someone who likes to raise hell on the weekends be that jet skis, quads, adrenaline inducing fun stuff. I hate sitting still and boredom.
Bunjee jumping! Hang gliding! Aligator wrestling! (OK, I was kidding with that last one.)
IDK, OP, maybe women who have their act together in their 20's, and have no need for babies yet, aren't looking for a hick from upstate NY? It's really not that hard to find what you're looking for, so I don't know why you end up with the wrong type.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 06-26-2017 at 11:43 PM..
From the OP, I'm not getting the impression he's asking why isn't he getting a girl. I take the OP as an observation about the habits of the dating scene. And I kind of get it. We're so far from traditional values in today's society, people just have no clue.
From the OP, I'm not getting the impression he's asking why isn't he getting a girl. I take the OP as an observation about the habits of the dating scene. And I kind of get it. We're so far from traditional values in today's society, people just have no clue.
He seems to be complaining that women are either "traditional values" in that they want marriage and kids...or else they are too casual and flaky.
Like he wants a relationship, without the pressure to settle down and raise a family.
Well, not all women want kids. Some never want kids ever. Some have already been there and done that and don't intend to do it again. Some women would be interested in a well to do fellow who wants to share with them a life of fun and adventure, I am sure. Of course the question of whether they'd be impressed with the cocky and occasionally condescending attitude is a whole other matter entirely.
The whole "everyone is jealous of me" and "this is how it's done, dear" is not very impressive in my eyes, but I cannot by any means speak for all women, or indeed anyone but myself.
I'm in Colorado, I know lots of very active and outdoorsy young people who prefer dogs over kids. But if you try too hard to impress people here, they tend to see right through it, roll their eyes, and walk away, whether you can walk the talk or not.
From the OP, I'm not getting the impression he's asking why isn't he getting a girl. I take the OP as an observation about the habits of the dating scene. And I kind of get it. We're so far from traditional values in today's society, people just have no clue.
No they don't. I remember when "hooking up" with someone simply meant meeting as in, "Let's hook up later and go hunting, bowling, fishing, having a few beers together, etc. In today's lexicon it means an emotionless roll in the hay without any real regard for one another, health concerns or anything else substantive beyond a short, physical release and certainly no commitment. I find it all very shallow and self-serving. I also wouldn't want to get involved with an adherent who had been 'well-used' over time.
My mother used to call me a curmudgeon. I was one by my early 20s (chuckle)! Think I've met another in this thread. FB, Twitter, other time-wasting and who gives a ____. True, but these things are social expectations and *can* be amusements, if you choose to share. The rest of the comments are mostly curmudgeonly "why do people behave like this." Why? Because they do, full stop. Hate the game, not the playa, playa.
I don't "hate" anyone either, but yes behavior of people can be exasperating...from your perspective. Do we have another I or ESTJ here? Sounds that way...
She (the wife) took off because of the perception of emotional unavailability, if you're anything like me. Why have a family with someone who doesn't make a sincere, strong, consistent effort to emotionally connect? And baby fever...yes, they can get that way. I actually saw a good male friend get "marriage fever" and was married in about 18 months to a lying, cheating, broke soft-hooker. Which ended as you'd imagine, in about four years, but they did have a baby in there just to ensure she'd be paid child support for years or decades. Mission accomplished, from her perspective: people cruise for desperate suckers, btw, if you hadn't noticed. Both male and female.
Look, I don't ever want kids. To me, they are a complete train wreck financially and waste of my precious time. If you don't...though you didn't indicate you "don't"...just get a vasectomy like I did at age 29. Problem permanently solved. I've run afoul of a couple women since who were in that same baby-mode, who then got rid of me. Great: know thyself!
Good luck on FWB, met a young lady recently who seems glad enough to do that...for money, turns out. Sugar Daddy, yeeeeeahh. Humph. I have to chuckle at the irony. The world mostly doesn't work that way either, btw: FWB only works if each party thinks they're in a state of arbitrage (deception-based lack of economic balance, in this case), OR they've each reached an interesting emotional equilibrium to remain in a fundamentally dysfunctional situation for some finite period of time. Such things don't usually last.
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It's really not that hard to find what you're looking for, so I don't know why you end up with the wrong type.
