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Old 06-26-2017, 12:54 PM
 
22,284 posts, read 21,725,695 times
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Strangely, what is missing in this story is how you responded to her accusations and her request that you move out.

Try harder to fill out the narrative.
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Old 06-26-2017, 12:56 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,935,627 times
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It might be best that you part ways until you figure out what's going on with your desires and you learn how to communicate as a confident adult and not one that is bound by anxiety.
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Old 06-26-2017, 01:00 PM
 
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I told her that they were just thoughts and that they didn't mean anything, at all.
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Old 06-26-2017, 01:03 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cantona View Post
I told her that they were just thoughts and that they didn't mean anything, at all.
You told her that to make her feel better, end the conflict and quell your anxiety.

But it's not really true, is it?
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Old 06-26-2017, 01:06 PM
 
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It is true - I don't want to have sex with a man, nor a relationship, ever.
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Old 06-26-2017, 01:11 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,217 posts, read 107,883,295 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cantona View Post
But now she thinks I'm going to run off with a man and that she can't get the thought out of her head.
She even suggested earlier it may be best if we part ways because "what if you decide to be with a man in the future?".
Couples counseling. Also, it seems that you didn't tell her the whole story that you told us. (?) You posted that the thought of having sex with men turns you off, but you didn't tell her that. That's quite key to the whole thing.

Also, your anxiety disorder was a factor, in that it caused you to do those internet searches, to assuage your anxiety about possibly being bi. That's why I think it would be helpful for your wife to understand how your anxiety affects your thinking, and can blow somewhat random thoughts out of proportion. If she understands that it's some kind of imbalance in the system, and you're trying to manage it, she might be supportive of your efforts.

OP, have you received a diagnosis? If so, is your wife aware of it?
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Old 06-26-2017, 01:13 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,935,627 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cantona View Post
It is true - I don't want to have sex with a man, nor a relationship, ever.
Then what does this mean to you?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Cantona View Post
Thing is, since I was a young teenager, I have had crushes on other guys ...

I thought to myself, 'what if I'm bisexual?', even though I don't want to have sex with any men.
You need to be honest with yourself FIRST, and hopefully you are already seeing a professional for counseling since you have such severe anxiety.
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Old 06-26-2017, 01:16 PM
 
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I did tell her it turned me off and explained how anxiety impacts my thoughts.
She said she still can't get the thought out of her head about me thinking about other men
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Old 06-26-2017, 01:18 PM
 
216 posts, read 214,209 times
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Attracted to men but don't want to have sex with them... plus massive anxiety problem... sounds like history of sexual abuse. You don't have to admit it here, but if I'm right - get into counseling asap.
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Old 06-26-2017, 01:20 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,217 posts, read 107,883,295 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cantona View Post
I did tell her it turned me off and explained how anxiety impacts my thoughts.
She said she still can't get the thought out of her head about me thinking about other men
Are we dealing with a different culture, here? Or is she from a very conservative part of the US?

It seems like you need counseling about your thoughts about other men, so that you can sort through that whole issue, and remove it as a source of anxiety for you. Does your anxiety affect your job performance at all?
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