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Old 07-03-2017, 09:50 PM
 
Location: 01945
209 posts, read 168,291 times
Reputation: 274

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Crap.
He was right.
That grey.
Where I should have tossed my ex, I'm still here 2 months later trying to fix it.
Score one to the shrink.
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Old 07-03-2017, 10:27 PM
 
2,911 posts, read 2,030,661 times
Reputation: 5153
Quote:
Originally Posted by coolgato View Post
I have known people that thought of themselves as always "telling it like it is" like being brutally honest, no holds barred, but when you do say something just as "brutally honest" they get all twisted out of shape and upset. They can dish it out, but they can't eat the same dish themselves.
Too true.
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Old 07-04-2017, 04:36 AM
 
3,739 posts, read 4,627,196 times
Reputation: 3430
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarahsez View Post
I disagree. Sit back and observe some time and then find out the background of the person who offends you. They are not intentionally rude. They accept what is said as fact and assume everyone else sees it the same way.
Well the person I have in mind is intentionally rude. Of course he is angry and bitter most of the time anyway. He as very few friends and most of his family and relatives including me, have distanced ourselves from his toxicity. To say he has diarrhea of the mouth is an understatement. He has a way with trying to scold people all the while holding his way of doing things as some sort of universal standard. Self righteousness and pride comes to mind. His mouth also reveals what kind of heart he has.
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Old 07-04-2017, 05:16 AM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,920 posts, read 7,692,289 times
Reputation: 16655
I give my opinion when asked for it but I don't sugar coat.
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Old 07-04-2017, 08:02 AM
 
14,376 posts, read 18,320,068 times
Reputation: 43047
Quote:
Originally Posted by jencam View Post
I think necessary and kind are sometimes at odds. Or at least, although the intent is a kindNESS, the person hearing it feels that it is unkind.

What if someone has to be confronted about a behavior that is self-destructive? The intent is kind, but they don't hear it as kind.
I'm talking about from the speaker's perspective, not the person on the receiving end. There are a lot of things that people need to hear that they won't perceive as kind in the moment.
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Old 07-04-2017, 09:05 AM
 
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
4,640 posts, read 11,903,321 times
Reputation: 9885
People who pride themselves on "telling it like it is" are insulting and rude. They then use that phrase to try to defend their bad behavior.

They are often the same people who start a sentence with "no offense, but...". Same difference. Yeah, you're rude and insulting and, no, it's not okay.
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Old 07-04-2017, 09:33 AM
 
2,951 posts, read 2,507,523 times
Reputation: 5292
I tell it like it is in business IF you've shown to lack integrity and ethics. If your actions will harm my business in some way, you bet you'll hear about it. Especially if I caught you in a lie. It is business, not friendship. I try to get to where we agree to disagree. And decide dong business together would not work. To drop the issue and move on. However If they keep up thinking I will cave in, they will get it as they say, both barrels loaded. Especially if they are too stupid to understand truth from perception. And they are a lot less successful than we are. I had this very situation last week.

In my personal life, it depends on the person. Very few want the truth. So most of the time I keep my mouth shut. If they have proven to be an adult and have asked for my opinion, then I will offer it. Always saying from my perception, which could be wrong....

I do want the truth but from someone with a history of success and respectability.

I thought a BFF wanted the truth, acted like she did. Too late did I find she didn't. Haven't talked in years. But I did learn a lesson from this, don't make friends with women who can't be without a man. Way too much drama due to desperation.

Last edited by foundapeanut; 07-04-2017 at 09:53 AM..
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Old 07-04-2017, 09:43 AM
 
2,951 posts, read 2,507,523 times
Reputation: 5292
Quote:
Originally Posted by mshultz View Post
My experience with these people is that while they happily criticize every aspect of your life (your taste in food, music, etc.), they tend to be rather thin-skinned about even the mildest criticism of their own lives. They also seem to be personally threatened by other people's achievements, such as promotions, education, etc. It's probably best to just distance yourself as much as possible from them.
Bravo!
Masters of projection. Look up gaslighting.
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Old 07-04-2017, 12:43 PM
 
Location: 'greater' Buffalo, NY
5,377 posts, read 3,857,933 times
Reputation: 7313
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarahsez View Post
In some ways it could be a lack of self awareness, but I consider it more of a cultural difference. People are simply raised differently. I see it at my children's school where there are a lot of high achievers that are basically first generation Americans. These kids were taught to achieve and they sometimes say things that more traditional American students would most likely not say. For instance, I heard one child comment that not placing in a contest was a 'failure' and that they had all 'failed'. These kids were not failures. They were simply competing with other high achieving kids. Not everyone could place in the contest.
Kids tend to lack self-awareness, regardless of environmental circumstance.
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Old 07-04-2017, 03:13 PM
 
Location: Jupiter
10,216 posts, read 8,285,738 times
Reputation: 8628
I just tell how it is = a person who nobody likes cause they think they know everything. In reality, they're a**holes.
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