how long before it's not important anymore? (father, adult, people)
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Based on your own experience and psychological makeup, how many times would something like a birthday or anniversary have to go un-celebrated for you to permanently 'give up' on celebrating it? As an adult...
For me it would have to be a bunch in a row, probably 4 or so.
I would first be inclined to ask my relatives why my birthday or any other major holiday went ignored. From there, based on their answer, I would decide.....
I have friends who are into birthdays, which is the only reason mine gets celebrated at all. When I turned 40, I knew it would be seen as a big deal, so I invited everyone out to a bar I like and we hung out. I paid for most of the appetizers and socialized. It was not an important birthday for me, but I got to see my friends, so I was happy to use it as an excuse. This year I was packing up my father with dementia to bring him to live with me. My two best friends in my hometown had me over to one of their houses for beers and ice cream cake and chitchat. My father of course forgot and my mother sent me a 3-word text because she really has withdrawn from my life at this point (and that's a good thing).
There's always going to be someone wanting to celebrate my birthday, but I'd rather let it die. I could start not celebrating next year.
I like my birthdays. I like the well wishes, and the cards. Our family's tradition is to celebrate the decade marks with a party, for all of us siblings. So I just had a 60th birthday party, and next year my brother will have a 60th, and the year after, my sister, and so on.
But I'm at a stage in life where I don't need, and don't expect presents from everyone. It truly is enough that everyone comes together to celebrate the day with me. It's all the 'gift' that I need.
Based on your own experience and psychological makeup, how many times would something like a birthday or anniversary have to go un-celebrated for you to permanently 'give up' on celebrating it? As an adult...
For me it would have to be a bunch in a row, probably 4 or so.
We don't do big birthdays in our family. I think I've posted about a milestone birthday that I had and that my family did for me. But that is not the norm for us. DH and I tend to buy ourselves something for our birthday. This year I have requested a trip to the OR Coast.
If no one in my family were to send me a card or wish me a Happy Birthday ever again, I think I'd still treat myself some way on that day. If I had been dieting, my treat might be a food or meal. If I wanted something, I might buy it for myself. That kind of thing.
I don't see myself never celebrating, even in a small way, my own birthday.
Yes, we try to ignore it too. Gotten WAAAY out of hand....
Hasn't it though! By the time Xmas actually rolls around, I'm more than Xmas'ed out.
I thought it was ridiculous when Xmas stuff started going up right after Halloween. Then it was going up WITH the Halloween stuff. And last year - last year it went up by Labor Day.
I'm afraid to even go to the store now as Back To School is nearly here, and I'm afraid to see the Xmas stuff already up. Sorta ruins every single other Fall holiday, especially Thanksgiving. AND my birthday.
As for birthdays - I haven't celebrated per se for decades. But it does make a nice excuse for dinner with my son.
Could be Jehovah Witness people have it right...they don't celebrate birthdays and maybe not even holidays. I'm not big on any of it anymore, I turned 79 and a couple gf's brought in mexican food and beer and we had a fun time the 3 of us.
The JW's give gifts to their loved ones thru the year. Makes sense to me.
It's all SO COMMERCIAL.
A friend had a major party for her family/friends for her 90th and then again for her 95th and that brought her and the people a lot of pleasure. She died a couple months after the 95th party. She almost planned it all...
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