Can help everyone but himself? Thoughts?? (marriage, relationship, mistakes, people)

[mondayafternoons]

I care about this person a lot and from time to time wonder why this is. This isn't meant as a criticism of said person, I have my own weaknesses, I have made mistakes in different areas of my life however this person (or whoever else struggles like this) has from a young age been very successful, tremendously so to the extreme (not just an attorney, but a self made highly sought after one who had already argued before the circuit district courts ) and later went on to copartner a firm from the ground up. A formidable foe in the courtroom. However*** simultaneously during all this success that put him in what would be considered the elite category of attorneys, he has fumbled through a series of relationships that have been painful to watch unfold to what has at least so far always involved him investing tons of effort and time, (to the extreme) with the end goal of marriage and kids with a partner who everyone else can easily see is not cut out for that. One of his ltr of over 7 years was with another highly accomplished attorney-- intelligent, variety of interests, large circle of friends, and highly independent, -- between these two highly accomplished attorneys, over the course of 7 years it seems like they never clarified what the other one wanted out of it and it came unraveled when he realized or was suddenly told by her that she didn't after all want to be married OR even have kids together. ( Although he wanted marriage he was willing to forego that in lieu of a partnership however he definitely wanted a chance to have children so they were at an impasse, after a period of close to 8 yrs, five of which were living together sharing life in the way a married couple would.
Nobody wanted to obviously make him feel worse than he already did, but wondered how it came to be that as smart as he is in his career from day one, he seems to have a pattern of choosing partners with the hope or goal of marriage/ kids with partners who others could see much earlier on weren't material for that as wonderful they were as people.
Any thoughts on what could lead someone to be very adept and intuitive and intelligent in their career for decades, the kind of career that hinges on interpersonal intelligence, ability to detect dishonesty and intent, and skills at communicating and making judgement calls ***yet** be somehow unable to attain a basic need for their own personal life??

[HappyFarm34]

Not everyone wants to get married or wants children. Your post is a bit confusing with so much to say scrunched up in a paragraph.

[codergirl]

There are lots of people who are like your friend.For whatever reason they thrive in their professional life but their personal one seems to always bomb each and every time.Some people are just blind in how to go about picking a partner that is so much better suited for them. It's something within them that they can only fix and no one else.

[mondayafternoons]

HappyFarm,
You seemed to have missed the point-- it isn't a matter of "not everyone wanting marriage or children". The issue is the fact that he does, yet with all the interpersonal skills and intelligence he has doesn't seem to have an awareness of the fact he chooses partners who everyone else can easily discern do not have those qualities. So he has gone into multiple ltr with a desired goal in mind seeking out those who don't exhibit those same values or beliefs. Everyone seems to be able to see it but him.

[softcrunch]

Makes sense really if you think about it. All his good judgements and intelligence are invested in his career, logically not much left for relationship wise.